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Quote# 86649

Since atheists believe that the Paleolithic & Neolithic periods were historical and NOT myths, does that mean?
... that ATHEISTS believe in totemism, animism or whatever else spiritual beliefs their ancestors had?

I can trace my family tree all the way back to Abel's wife in the Old Testament, so I can tell you right now that I'm not descended from any "Paleolithic" or "Neolithic" ape.

LAKWISHA`, Yahoo Answers 56 Comments [3/27/2012 3:25:04 AM]
Fundie Index: 83
WTF?! || meh
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Reynardine

The Paleolithic and Neolithic hominids were not apes. They were all the same genus as ourselves, and until you get back to the lower Paleolithic, even the same species. To find an "ape" ancestor, you'd have to go back to the Pliocene.

I can trace one branch of my family- shakily- to Freyberg-an-der-Unstrut in 1291, and count myself lucky to be able to do that. I'd like to know how you came up with Abel's wife, though apparently not Abel. Did Cain rape her?

3/27/2012 3:43:48 AM

Zimmer

Just another troll, nothing to see here.

3/27/2012 4:05:51 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

I can trace my family tree all the way back to Abel's wife in the Old Testament

LMFAO!

And where did she come from, pray-tell?

3/27/2012 4:47:34 AM

loki

thats the great thing when you're a fundie christian you don't need prove for anything that you say everthing is true because you believe in a god

3/27/2012 5:05:43 AM

Mister Spak

" so I can tell you right now that I'm not descended from any "Paleolithic" or "Neolithic" ape."

True, you still are an ape. You haven't evolved since the pliestocene.

3/27/2012 5:11:29 AM



Oh, look, another Poe. Abel's wife, indeed.

3/27/2012 5:14:47 AM

quinky

Wait, is this guy saying that because we believe that the Neolithic periods are actual "historical" (prehistorical, by definition), then we must also adhere to the religions of that period? That is the weirdest conclusion ever. That's like saying we're Muslims because we believe Mecca exists.

3/27/2012 5:15:25 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

The responses to this troll on Yahoo Answers are surprisingly rational — not a fundie in the bunch. Maybe there IS hope after all.


3/27/2012 5:18:22 AM

dionysus

You can't possibly be serious. I also say troll.

3/27/2012 5:29:09 AM



@Reynardine: Teeechnically, we're still apes. We're members of the Hominidae family, also known as Great Apes, which includes the Genuses Pan, Homo, Gorilla, Pongo and Hylobates.

3/27/2012 5:38:15 AM

farpadokly

You can trace your family back to Abel's wife (why not Adam and Eve by the way?) in the same way that the Romans could trace their lineage back to the goddess Aphrodite: Mythologically. Doesn't mean there's any reality underlying it.
I don't get the point about the animism, totemism etc. Most American and European's ancestors believed in Christianity, and before that, some sort of polytheism, and before that, some sort of animism. That doesn't mean they have to believe in any of these things.

3/27/2012 5:45:06 AM

D Laurier

I can trace my family to the late 1500s.
Some folks can trace theirs back to the 1100s or therabouts.
Unless you live in China or Japan, there is no way you can trace your family back past the dark ages.

3/27/2012 5:45:26 AM

name

To quote Dan Bern.
Everything I learned from my dad. He learned everything from his. Only his dad was wrong about everything.

3/27/2012 6:19:52 AM

Doubting Thomas

I can trace my family tree all the way back to Abel's wife in the Old Testament

Yeah, suuuuure you can. So, what was her name, exactly? And since she must have been Abel's sister, that means your entire family is inbred.

3/27/2012 6:29:00 AM

Philbert McAdamia

That's nothing - I have a rare coin that was once owned by Cain. Got it on eBay, for quite a tidy sum. It still has a little blood on it and the date on it is 2000 B.C.

3/27/2012 6:57:21 AM

Papabear

"I can trace my family tree all the way back to Abel's wife in the Old Testament..."

Liar, troll or idiot, you make the call. Of course it could be a lying, idiotic troll, I suppose.

3/27/2012 7:08:07 AM

Horsefeathers

"Since atheists believe that the Paleolithic & Neolithic periods were historical and NOT myths, does that mean?
... that ATHEISTS believe in totemism, animism or whatever else spiritual beliefs their ancestors had?"


Damn! They've found us out!

"I can trace my family tree all the way back to Abel's wife in the Old Testament"

No, you can't.

"so I can tell you right now that I'm not descended from any 'Paleolithic' or 'Neolithic' ape."

Of course not. That would be absurd.

You're a descendant of a Paleolithic or Neolithic human. Though technically humans are apes, so you actually are descended from a Paleolithic or Neolithic ape no matter how you look at it.

3/27/2012 7:17:49 AM

John_in_Oz

I see that particular family tree has a nut on it.

3/27/2012 7:18:50 AM

rubber chicken

You probably can't trace your family tree much past your grandfathers sister

3/27/2012 7:31:48 AM



Abels wife was his sister. I would keep that a bit quiet because of the incet thing now. Also you family tree must have been through Noah or one of the wives musnt it ?

I trace mine through Kwee-rawc the Cambrian gerbil although I may be mistaken.

3/27/2012 8:17:24 AM

Thinking Allowed

Um...didn't Cain kill Abel?

3/27/2012 8:57:51 AM

Berny

Where in the Bible does it mention a wife for Abel, or that he had offsprings before Cain killed him? You're on shaky ground whereas I'm smart enough to realize that even though our Paleolithic ancestors were animists, it doesn't mean I have to be. My immediate ancestors (grandparents and parents) were Christians and I'm not. So what's your fucking point?

3/27/2012 9:36:50 AM

Pilotess

I soooooooooo want to see this family tree, I bet it only has one branch!

3/27/2012 10:21:00 AM

myheadhurts

a) I suspect you are a liar or deluded about tracing your family line more than a few hundred years, unless you have royal blood then I'll give you about a thousand, maybe. However, on the off chance you can go back several thousand years,

b) your genes say you are related to an ape like ancestor thousands and thousands of years before writing (or family records) was invented,

c) we all are, get over it

3/27/2012 10:36:25 AM



@1386304: So that's where these guys come from!!

Forgot to sign: Reynardine

3/27/2012 10:47:26 AM
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