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Quote# 86649

Since atheists believe that the Paleolithic & Neolithic periods were historical and NOT myths, does that mean?
... that ATHEISTS believe in totemism, animism or whatever else spiritual beliefs their ancestors had?

I can trace my family tree all the way back to Abel's wife in the Old Testament, so I can tell you right now that I'm not descended from any "Paleolithic" or "Neolithic" ape.

LAKWISHA`, Yahoo Answers 56 Comments [3/27/2012 3:25:04 AM]
Fundie Index: 83
WTF?! || meh
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Reynardine

@1386304: Sorry, double post.

3/27/2012 10:48:09 AM

Ludd

I would call Poe but I know that there are people out there that are this stupid.

3/27/2012 11:00:44 AM

Osiris

Um let me see for a second?

No. I believe that people who lived tens of thousands of years ago believed that. But I also know it's complete and total nonsense and has been completely disprove thanks to science. I mean yeah they're my ancestors, but they are so distant that they're basically everyone's ancestors. My most recent ancestors were Christian and I don't believe that nonsense either.

By the way just a quick question. If Adam and Eve were the first people and they only had two sons, where the fuck did Abel's wife come from?

3/27/2012 11:04:03 AM

John

Abel's wife isn't in the Old Testament.

3/27/2012 11:31:05 AM

Sasha

@Doubting Thomas, you owe me a new keyboard. I was drinking tea while reading this.

@LAKWISHA, ATHEISTS don't believe in any gods, so totemism and animism are right out.

My Viking ancestors believed in sacrificing people to Odin via the "blood eagle". That has absolutely no bearing on my beliefs at all.

The farthest I can trace my family tree is a German military officer pre-WWI and a Norweigian farmwife named Ingaborg. That almost became my name.

3/27/2012 11:57:24 AM

Michael

You "can trace [your] family tree all the way back to Abel's wife," eh? Documentation, or it didn't happen.

3/27/2012 12:31:20 PM

Old Viking

As an atheist I believe that you're very confused.

3/27/2012 12:38:05 PM

dfmfundies

I can trace my family tree all the way back to Abel's wife in the Old Testament

Wasn't there this big flood you religionist types keep nattering about? Wouldn't all the records prior to it have been destroyed?

3/27/2012 1:10:36 PM



Given that according to the Bible, Cain and Abel were the first born sons of Adam and Eve (the first humans): Abel's "wife" must be:
- his sister (spawn of Adam and Eve)
- his niece/half-sister (spawn of Cain and Eve)
- his daughter/sister (spawn of Abel and Eve)

Given the poster's intelligence (or lack thereof), it is actually quite believable for Lakwisha to be the product of generations of inbreeding.

3/27/2012 1:11:55 PM

JB Mason

I can trace my lineage back to Cain's wife. You know, the one from the city of Nod. You know, the bustling metropolis a few miles outside Yahweh's weird experiment in a garden where he tried to wipe the memories of two kids and enslave them.

I can tell you, it's refreshing not to be tainted with original sin.

Also, obvious Poe is obvious. (Lakwisha, really?)

3/27/2012 1:21:44 PM

Brendan Rizzo

So acknowledging that a time period exists means believing all the things that people of that time believed? Major logical disconnect here. I accept that ancient Greece existed. Does that mean I have to believe in the Greek gods?

Also, Abel never had a wife. You fail even your own Bible.

3/27/2012 1:28:44 PM

John

By that reasoning, if historians believe Sargon was historical and not a myth, that means they must speak Akkadian and worship Inanna and Zababa?

3/27/2012 1:42:38 PM

checkmate

I can trace my family tree all the way back to Abel's wife in the Old Testament

So what? I can trace my family tree all the way back to Buddha's twin brother Charlie.

You prove yours first, then I'll prove mine.

3/27/2012 1:52:18 PM

Bad Wolf

People who boast about their ancestors are simply saying that their family is better dead than alive.

3/27/2012 2:18:21 PM

gaijinlaw

According to my maternal grandmother, I'm a direct descendant of Jean Lafitte.

Wait a minute... I'M A PIRATE!

Avast, ye scurvy bilge rats! AAAAR!

3/27/2012 2:21:32 PM

aaa

Bleh. Just another garden-variety moron.

3/27/2012 9:42:42 PM

TB Tabby

Adrian Targett can trace his lineage back 9,000 years, thanks to the discovery of Cheddar Man.

3/28/2012 3:19:25 AM

Big Jilm

Wow, did you just admit your ancestors were incestuous? You conservatives love your sister-cousin gramma-daughter straight-line family trees...and you're proud of it!

3/28/2012 8:41:34 AM

Agahnim

So since the first Christians converted from Judaism, does that mean Christians don't eat shellfish or pork?

3/29/2012 6:33:50 PM

Amadaun

...that is impossible on so many levels.

Abel's wife? Not Abel? Not, y'know, Abel's parents? What? Are you descended from her via a different marriage or something?

Also, I believe with good reason that most of my ancestors in a certain historical range were Irish Catholics. This does not make me a Catholic.

3/30/2012 11:14:45 AM

Godlesspanther

Oh yeah? I can trace my family tree back to Darth Vader -- so there!

3/30/2012 11:50:08 AM

Blue the Thief


3/30/2012 1:27:22 PM

cuneas

Noah was a descendent of Seth. Everyone on earth is purportedly a descendant of Noah. Even going by your own crazy mythology, there is no conceivable way you could be descended from Abel _or_ his wife.

You might try actually _reading_ the Bible before you quote it.

3/31/2012 1:04:28 AM

HG131

Okay, look at this idiot's name. Lakwisha. I hate to say it, but that is one of the most stereotypical ghetto names I've ever seen. Guess what? To most Christians, Adam, Eve, Cain and Abel are supposed to be white. So, please, do tell me, how the hell did you get black?

7/29/2012 4:30:03 AM

whatever

@Jezebel's Evil Sister
"The responses to this troll on Yahoo Answers are surprisingly rational — not a fundie in the bunch. Maybe there IS hope after all."

That doesn't excuse Yahoo Answers from being the most inappropriately-named site on the Internet.

7/29/2012 4:36:08 AM
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