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Quote# 86770

Everybody on both sides of this issue full well knows the implications, that these are two locomotives coming at each other and those two locomotives cannot exist on the same track on the same time, and one is the radical homosexual agenda and the other one is religious liberty. They cannot be in the same country at the same time. People at the upper levels on both sides full well know that, they are fully, clearly aware that religious liberties, the capacity to worship God as we do, will be shut down if the radical gay homosexual agenda actually succeeds. If I were Satan, this is key, if I were Satan, I would want to destroy the image of God on the planet. How do you do that? You’ve got to destroy the institution of marriage. If I were Satan I would want to destroy marriage on earth with divorce, I would want to destroy it with redefinition.

Jim Garlow, Joe. My. God. 73 Comments [4/3/2012 3:54:09 AM]
Fundie Index: 70
Submitted By: Aspergus
WTF?! || meh
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Reynardine

A false analogy, a mismatched metaphor, and a bigot's DARVO all at once- bingo!

4/3/2012 4:09:51 AM

Aikku

... You destroy the image of an imaginary homicidal maniac by destroying an ancient tradition of selling women to a man?

Way to go.

4/3/2012 4:20:15 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

What a steaming load of horseshit.

4/3/2012 4:20:33 AM

Table Rock

Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, South Africa, Spain, and Sweden all say that you are both wrong and an idiot.

Oh, and I say that too.

4/3/2012 4:21:35 AM

Tallyho

Teh ghey - they are the new iron chariots.So much for your god if a bit of man sex shuts him down!
He can also be destroyed by divorce? Good on the Fundiestan states of the USA - they are destroying god better than anywhere else.

4/3/2012 4:23:58 AM



If I was satan and I wanted to destroy the image of god on the planet, I'd destroy every existing copy of the bible, all churches, etc.

4/3/2012 4:40:39 AM



If I were Satan I would want to destroy marriage on earth with divorce,

(I think he meant to say if he were Satan, he wouldn't want to destroy marriage through divorce to emphasize his second "point." Still...)

Heterosexuals who can marry are doing a good job of this today.

I would want to destroy it with redefinition.

Yeah, 'cause redefining marriage to be more inclusive is a lot worse than divorce which, by definition, is the end of marriage. Uh huh. [/sarcasm]

4/3/2012 4:59:59 AM

Brendan Rizzo

This is exactly what they said about racial equality. My God, this is getting tiresome.

4/3/2012 5:03:24 AM

Philbert McAdamia

Jumbo Shrimp

Military Intelligence

Religious Liberty

4/3/2012 5:09:34 AM

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

Why is you supposedly omnipotent god so threatened by what consenting adults do in the bedroom?

4/3/2012 5:09:47 AM

crisis_of_reason

homosexual agenda:

10:30 take out trash
11:00 call frank
12:00 light lunch
1:45 destroy the institution of marriage!
2:00 call satan, re: good news

4/3/2012 5:09:48 AM

Veras_the_Brujah

If I were Satan, and my goal was to undermine Christianity, I would support Jim Garlow. Nothing makes Christians look worse than fundies maintaining outdated, bigoted ideas that the rest of the world has moved on from.

4/3/2012 5:21:09 AM

Mister Spak

Everybody on both sides of this issue full well knows the implications, that these are two locomotives coming at each other and those two locomotives cannot exist on the same track on the same time, and one is the radical teabager agenda and the other one is religious liberty.They cannot be in the same country at the same time. People at the upper levels on both sides full well know that, they are fully, clearly aware that religious liberties, the capacity to worship God as we do, will be shut down if the radical teabagger agenda actually succeeds. If I were Satan, this is key, if I were Satan, I would want to destroy the image of God on the planet. How do you do that? You've got to promote teabaggery as Gods political party.

"I would want to destroy it with redefinition."

Conservative redefine words a lot.

4/3/2012 5:36:10 AM

Duke Wellington

Take the Gay Train: it's the only way to get to Satan ...

4/3/2012 5:44:27 AM

Swede

That's strange; we have both gender neutral marriage laws AND freedom of religion.
How is your capacity for worshiping whatever deity you like, affected by other people marrying their (consenting adult) loved ones?

If I was Satan and wanted to destroy belief in God, I'd push for a literal belief in the Bible, and mandatory reading of the Bible in high schools and universities, where people are old enough to think for themselves and perhaps realize what contradictory drivel it actually is.

4/3/2012 5:52:59 AM

Nicole

Making the legal definition of marriage to be only what your religion allowed is not religious liberty. It's EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE.

4/3/2012 5:55:14 AM

crisis_of_reason

Satan is a pretty pathetic villain: "In order to get all humanity into my domain, where I can torture them with eternal fire (BWAHAHA), what shall I do... tempt them with earthly pleasures? No, too obvious. Get inside their heads and pretend to be God? That worked before, but... I know! I'll just change what they mean by 'marriage' to be a wee bit more inclusive and that should do the trick!"

4/3/2012 5:58:09 AM

Darwin

If gays want to destroy marriage then why are they fighting for the right to marry?

4/3/2012 6:03:38 AM

Dr.Shrinker

If I were Satan, I would divide humanity into increasingly smaller groups. I would use any excuse I could to divide them no matter how petty or irrelevant it was; gender, ethnicity, nationality, point of view and of course sexual orientation would all work fine. Then I would establish a hierarchy with myself and the people who are exactly like me being on top, with those who are less like me having places lower in rank (how low being generally a matter of whim and convenience to me.)

And, here's the kicker, I would insist that this arrangement came not from me, but from god. Therefore, to argue against it isn't to argue against me, but to argue with god. To step out of your designated place in the hierarchy and express a desire to share my privileges, I will insist, will bring terrible retribution. Said retribution will generally be said to take place after you die, so I won't have to show any evidence to support my claims.

This arrangement will ensure a great deal of suffering among people low in my arbitrary scale, while increasing the pride and arrogance of the ones on top. The efforts of people to rise in the hierarchy, usually by pushing others down, will increase the suffering and further swell the heads of the ones on top. Furthermore, the division among humanity will keep them from working together to address real issues, like global poverty and disease.

In short, that's what I would do if I were Satan. I would become a fundamentalist Christian and do everything I could to make sure other people were too.

4/3/2012 6:10:13 AM

JSS

If I were Satan, this is the key if I were Satan, I would want to promote [insert antithesis of my own personal opinion here]

4/3/2012 6:11:25 AM

dionysus

You sure seem to know a lot about what Satan would do. Hey, what are you hiding underneath that hat?

4/3/2012 6:13:27 AM

SpukiKitty

Hey, Jim. Why dont you stand on that track while a locomotive barrels down on ya!

4/3/2012 6:37:49 AM

Horsefeathers

"Everybody on both sides of this issue full well knows the implications, that these are two locomotives coming at each other and those two locomotives cannot exist on the same track on the same time, and one is the radical homosexual agenda and the other one is religious liberty."

I'm sorry, but what the holy hell are you talking about now?

"They cannot be in the same country at the same time."

I really don't see why you can't have gay people and the ability to choose your religion in the same country at the same time.

Maybe I'm just not insane enough to make the connection.

"People at the upper levels on both sides full well know that, they are fully, clearly aware that religious liberties, the capacity to worship God as we do, will be shut down if the radical gay homosexual agenda actually succeeds."

I don't follow. Which is probably a very good thing--it lets me know that I'm still sane.

"If I were Satan, this is key, if I were Satan, I would want to destroy the image of God on the planet. How do you do that?"

Print the Wholly Babble?

That's what I'd do. I mean, have you read that thing? If that was approved by your god then he's a psycho.

"You’ve got to destroy the institution of marriage. If I were Satan I would want to destroy marriage on earth with divorce, I would want to destroy it with redefinition."

Because, apparently, Satan has nothing better to do with his time.

4/3/2012 6:37:54 AM



Imposing your personal religious views on others is not the definition of religious liberty.

4/3/2012 6:42:56 AM

Filin De Blanc

If I were Satan I'd be too busy sleeping with the succubi to care about this stuff. :P

4/3/2012 6:50:42 AM
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