We were driving through downtown Portland with all my kids in the car and there was a great big billboard for a gay matchmaking website with two naked men standing snuggled together, wrapped in an american flag. I tried to casually distract the kids, but my 8 year old son was scarred for life.
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"Mommy, why are those two men hugging each other?It give me a funny feeling down there."
Questioning, that was one of the funniest things I've read in ages; I'm still laughing so much I can hardly see through the tears to type this! It's a rather disturbing bit, really, but so FUNNY!
TY David D.G.,,,...:-)
This comment just proves that Portland is AWESOME.
Oh, and it was you who scarred your son, not the billboard, honey. If you hadn't been working on indoctrinating your son that gay = bad, but had instead used the opportunity to explain to him (if you hadn't already) that sometimes boys like girls and sometimes boys like boys, and that either orientation is okay, I'm sure he would have ended up a lot less "scarred."
Oh, and "He was scarred for life." Was? Was he only scarred for life for a little while? Did he die? Your poor grammar has me concerned!
I see two possiblities here:
1. This is complete and utter bullshit, and the kid didn't even notice.
2. Mom (or Dad) suspects that this kid might prefer his own gender, and now they can use this as an excuse to make themselves feel better. "Oh, he was perfectly normal when he was a kid, until this tragic day when he was 8..."
some chick: Does 'ou need a Pamprin? Hmmm? Poor widdle baby...
By the way, some chick, you lack creativity.
For what reason would any rapture retard go to Portland? I mean, the piercings, tattoos, books, liberalism, and the coffee? Aren't all these things just awful?
He was staring at the sign and drove into a truck , Watson. It's elementary repressed homosexuality. You know Watson, them funny boys, like Inspector Dicklicker of Scotland yard
Your eight-year-old had never seen a naked body before? Is his life over now, or how do you know that he's scarred for life?
The best way to make kids pay attention is to try to casually distract their attention.
The only way that could have scarred an 8 year old for life is if his mother reacted by screaming OH DEAR JESUS THE SIN LOOK AWAY CHILDREN JESUS HATES FAGS IT'S SODOM AND GOMMORAH LOOK AT THE DIRTY FAGS THEY WILL SODOMIZE YOU DEAR LORD JESUS PLEASE COME SOON AND TAKE US AWAY FROM THIS SINFUL WORLD. Did it go kind of like that, 2bossy?
I can picture this family becoming a statistic. Parent, distracted more by the billboard than by a cell call, turns around to cover the kids' eyes, and the car goes into Casco Bay.
Don't worry, the kid will get used to it. So will you. Heck, in 50 years your descendents will be trying to tell us that it was those damned liberals who were the gay communities' enemies. After all, that's what the conservative pundits are doing now with women and ethnic minorities.
Now, don't you feel better?
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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