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Quote# 86941

(Jesus Lazers prevented WWIII)

Dobson: The scripture says ‘the shields of the earth belong to the Lord’ and if He removes that shield there is just simply nothing to save us, James is that the essence of what you were getting at here?

Robison: Well it’s interesting that you brought that verse up because I sat with Ronald Reagan and read that verse to him and had an Air Force general and an Army general at our side and I asked him, do you know what the shields of the earth are? And he said God. I said, do you happen to know what amplified light is, what laser is? He said, no I didn’t understand exactly what it is, and I said well laser is amplified light and it’s possible to take missiles down with amplified light, with laser, and the two generals stepped up and confirmed that. I said, sir, if you amplify the light with the principles that you say you believe and if you will seek wisdom, then you can protect us from a threat that has been totally committed to our destruction through nuclear assault.

James Robison & James Dobson, Right Wing Watch 50 Comments [4/16/2012 3:26:15 AM]
Fundie Index: 56
WTF?! || meh
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Argle Bargle

I demand a Flash version of Missile Command with Jesus Lazers. This must happen.

4/16/2012 3:35:08 AM

Atheissimo

I can't tell if he's advocating the 'Star Wars' missile defence system by using scripture to say something which was clearly not envisioned in the original text or saying that God will literally shoot missiles down with lasers if Reagan prays hard enough.

Either way it sounds suspiciously like in post-apocalypse films when the primitive culture left behind attaches religious significance to machines they don't understand constructed before 'the event'. Like the Covenant in the Halo series.

4/16/2012 3:45:51 AM

MK

Except of course for that awfully inconvenient fact that no, you can't.

4/16/2012 3:51:26 AM

Filin De Blanc

"Either way it sounds suspiciously like in post-apocalypse films when the primitive culture left behind attaches religious significance to machines they don't understand constructed before 'the event'"

"Pre-event sources talk of "water". What was "water"?"

4/16/2012 3:55:57 AM

Leighton Buzzard

Never mind, I'm sure some of the post-apocalyptic priests will really be Rangers from Minbar.

4/16/2012 4:13:14 AM

\m/>_<\m/

*twitch* lol, dude, Star wars (the military one, not the movie franchise) can't work.

if this keeps up, pretty soon they'll be talking about the shield of faith +5 and the armor of contempt (tm warhammer 40k and dan abnett) along with jezus lasguns!

4/16/2012 4:14:13 AM

Extraintrovert

What. What! What?

...wat am i even reading

@\m/>_<\m/
The Imperium is a conglomeration of every form of religious fundamentalism and insanity humans have ever devised. So the comparison is very apt.

4/16/2012 4:27:52 AM

Tempus

@Leighton Buzzard: That would rock soooooo hard.

4/16/2012 4:34:44 AM

Brendan Rizzo

These people were advisers to the President. Why does nobody in my country see what's wrong with this picture?

4/16/2012 4:53:40 AM

Reynardine

I knew at the time that Reagan was a mean phony. I suspected Alzheimer's early. If I'd known this, I'd have been petrified, and if I'd known we'd have a President smack at the start of the Twenty-First Century who'd make him look good, I'd have been suicidal.

4/16/2012 5:38:51 AM

Mister Spak

So the president of the US was basing strategy on a written down 2000 year old hallucination, and spending zillions of $ on implementing it?

Do you fundies now understand why the US has gone downhill in the last 30 years?

@TheLastCenturion:

Lasers are amplified light. The A in LASER stands for amplified.(Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.)

4/16/2012 5:40:59 AM

TheLastCenturion

what?... what?... what the fuck is this? i have no idea how to respond to this other than to point out that "lasers" are actually highly concentrated beams of light(or perfectly focused on a single point, which is probably easier to do), not amplified light. this post has literally shut down the parts of my brain that interpret stupid.

edit: im not even sure how one could "amplify" light, other than messing with the wavelengths, at which point you'd more or less just be fucking around with radiation. there are far easier and less expensive ways to intercept missiles that dont require expensive laser defense systems scattered around the country. stinger missiles are like a dime a dozen, comparatively.

4/16/2012 5:43:57 AM

Agahnim

Lasers? Are you sure this isn't Dr. Evil we're talking about?

4/16/2012 6:07:25 AM

The Duelist

Jesus Lazers! They're even more powerful than turbo-lazers! May the Force be with us all!

4/16/2012 6:19:25 AM

Horsefeathers

This has to be one of the most asinine things I've read in a long time.

4/16/2012 6:28:49 AM

Dr.Shrinker

Well, Reagan gave credence to astrologers, why not a religious crank?

4/16/2012 6:36:28 AM

Papabear

How is it that people this delusional get into positions of authority and/or command such a following? Nevermind, I know.

4/16/2012 6:50:04 AM

rageaholic

Best. Game. Ever.

4/16/2012 6:54:20 AM

mockae

Erm, isn't it only the total impossibility of actually implementing such a system the only thing that *stopped* it causing WWIII?

Prohibiting development of ABM systems was a core principle of several arms limitation treaties that the US actually signed up to. The general idea seems to have been that once either side started developing such a system the other side would have no choice but to strike immediately or face defeat.

4/16/2012 7:05:29 AM

Nihlum

The Lords our Shepard says the psalm, but just in case, we better get a Bomb.

4/16/2012 7:26:52 AM

Balthazar the Wise

Honestly, other than being all biblical about it, how is this particularly fundamentalist?

Anymore than Oppenheimer repeating "I am become death, destroyer of worlds" when he tested the nuclear bomb would make him a hindu fundamentalist?

4/16/2012 7:43:50 AM

Anon-e-moose

"I sat with Ronald Reagan and read that verse to him and had an Air Force general and an Army general at our side and I asked him, do you know what the shields of the earth are? And he said God"

Ronnie Raygun was once acted off the screen by a chimpanzee. Your argument is invalid.

"I said, do you happen to know what amplified light is, what laser is? He said, no I didn’t understand exactly what it is, and I said well laser is amplified light and it’s possible to take missiles down with amplified light, with laser, and the two generals stepped up and confirmed that. I said, sir, if you amplify the light with the principles that you say you believe and if you will seek wisdom, then you can protect us from a threat that has been totally committed to our destruction through nuclear assault."

Okay then, little Jimmy: Remove the semiconductor laser from your Blu-Ray player. Now go to the US side of Panmunjom and take out the latest North Korean missile with it.

PROTIP: "Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me" is not a documentary. Throw me a fricken bone, here! [/Dr. Evil] X3

'Facts are stupid things'

-Ronnie Raygun

@Argle Bargle

As a MAME freak, I love playing Atari's "Missile Command" (although using a mouse doesn't have the nostalgia value of a trackball ;_; )

4/16/2012 8:24:27 AM

cdcdrr

I know this was the 80's, but I'm fairly sure lasers were well understood by that time. Han Solo, Optimus Prime and the Joes fired nothing but laser blasts. Are we to believe this sham introduced Reagan to the concept of lasers?

then you can protect us from a threat that has been totally committed to our destruction through nuclear assault.

Who, the Soviets? Yeah they were very committed to the US's destruction when they turned their ships at the last moment in the missile crisis, or the way in which they never fired off a nuclear warhead at anyone. None of the Mutually Assured Destruction hokey, total commitment!

4/16/2012 8:26:49 AM

Berny

I always knew Reagan was a moron. If he sought advice from Robison it pretty much confirms it.

4/16/2012 8:32:07 AM

Mayhem

So, if I build a laser, then I'm god?

4/16/2012 9:04:02 AM
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