Quote# 86967

The Lack of an Ancient Evolution story proves evolution isn’t true

There are creation stories, flood stories, miracle stories and God stories that go way back in time, and passed down by oral tradition and then to ancient writings, however there is no evolution story. If evolution were true we should have at least some evolution stories passed down through the generations through oral tradition that our ancestors came from the trees and from an ape like creature.

God Bless


I aint no monkey, Theology Online 39 Comments [4/20/2012 3:17:08 AM]
Fundie Index: 65
Submitted By: Persephone 66

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The REAL Doctor Doom

let DOOM try and get this straight.
So. Because CAVEMEN and primitive early cultures did not figure out advanced biology... it doesnt exist.
DOOM would have your puny existence wiped off the face of the earth, but its clearly not recquired. DOOM wishes he could be there to see you drown in the rain like poultry.

4/20/2012 4:07:27 AM


Have you ever seen or heard of any animal other than Homo Sapiens (Humans, to you) ever pass down stories via written or oral tradition?

Then why would you expect this to happen when modern Humans didn't exist?

4/20/2012 4:19:21 AM

Leighton Buzzard

IIRC there are people in SE Asia who venerate the local monkeys because they reckon they descended from them.

4/20/2012 4:31:28 AM

Mister Spak

The lack of bible facts prove the bible isn't true.

4/20/2012 5:03:02 AM

Brendan Rizzo

And the lack of an ancient heliocentrism story proves that the Earth is the center of the universe, right?

Oh wait, forget I said anything; you're so stupid you may well use that argument!

4/20/2012 5:26:00 AM

capello moderno

This argument is based on the trite coolness of every teenage pop connoisseur: 'I like his [mankind's] old stuff better'.

4/20/2012 5:32:01 AM


By the same token, the computer you use to read and write stuff on the internet doesn't exist because there aren't any ancient stories about it, or microchips, or electricity.

Oh, and from Wikipedia: "Evolutionary thought, the conception that species change over time, has roots in antiquity, in the ideas of the ancient Greeks, Romans, and Chinese as well as in medieval Islamic science." Not ancient enough for you?

4/20/2012 5:55:39 AM


He's got a point. There were no ancient stories about quantum theory either so it must also be false.

4/20/2012 5:57:46 AM


The change is too gradual and too slow for that, stupid.
It's several million years since we came down from the trees.

Are you saying that all those creation stories are true?

4/20/2012 6:07:39 AM


Dont forget....xians also have passed other stories and oral traditions down that are much more recent. So they are probably even more likely to be true. Witches flying on brooms, vampires, werewolves, black cats conspiring with witches, etc.

4/20/2012 6:13:36 AM


While it was not yet called evolution, there are many stories about mating strong and desirable animals and/or crops to produce superior offspring.

4/20/2012 6:54:39 AM


Just because a story is old, doesn't mean it is true, and just because a discovery is new, that doesn't make it false.

4/20/2012 7:44:56 AM

Doubting Thomas

So I guess we're living on a flat earth because there are no ancient spherical earth stories? Or that means that we really will fall off the edge of the earth if we go too far out in the ocean like was believed in ancient times, not to mention that illnesses really are caused by demons.

4/20/2012 7:57:32 AM


4/20/2012 8:08:12 AM


Pleeeaaase be a Poe.

4/20/2012 8:29:30 AM

Mystik Spiral

Definitely the herp derp of the day.

4/20/2012 8:50:37 AM


Yes, traditional stories reflect the truth. Theological accounts trump evolutionary biology the way the Stork story is so much more accurate than modern reproductive biology.

4/20/2012 10:10:24 AM


>>I aint no monkey<<

No, you aren't. And neither am I or any other human.

We are homo sapiens sapiens, a type of ape closely related to the two chimpanzee species. It has been suggested that homo and pan should be considered a single genus rather a tribe, but that's simply semantics on the phylogenetic tree. We last had a common ancestor with the chimps ~5 million years ago; with the rest of the great apes (gorilla and orangutan) around 14 million years ago; and with the lesser apes (sixteen species of gibbon) around 18 million years ago.

The last time that we had a common ancestor with the Old World monkeys was ~30 million years ago; with the New World monkeys ~40 million years ago; and with the lemurs ~63 million years ago (it's tempting to think that the 63 mya divergence is a consequence of the post-giant-impact proliferation of mammalian species).

We haven't been monkeys for a long long time.

>>Leighton Buzzard

IIRC there are people in SE Asia who venerate the local monkeys because they reckon they descended from them. <<

There are the vanara in the Hindu epics, most notably Hanuman. But I didn't think that they were supposed to have been the ancestors of humanity.

4/20/2012 10:20:30 AM

David B.

The thing is, despite the fact that the whole argument is a massive non-sequitur, even 'I ain't no match for a Monkey's premis is incorrect, there are plenty of old folk tales that describe why certain animal characteristics came about. The possum's bare tail, the terrapin's shell, the kangaroo's pouch, are all the subject of very old stories that say how they came to be, Kipling's Just So tales are simply modern examples of a very old tradition.

The important thing here is that all these stories have animals that are mutable in form. They weren't created as they are now, but instead took on their current characteristics because of some misadventure. Stories of animals changing form over time are as old, if not older, than the creation myths of the Abrahamic religions.

4/20/2012 10:29:09 AM


There are ancient stories about these Egyptian and Greek gods, too. Are those true?
For what it's worth, the ancient Ionians in the 6th century BCE postulated an early version of evolution.
Look up Anaximander (ca. 611 - 546 BCE).

4/20/2012 10:56:40 AM


So because a few other pagan religions had flood stories there is UNDENIABLE proof that Yahweh created this earth in six days in the image of himself. That's your problem right here, every one of your Intelligent Design theories (Even the ones that try so hard to distance themselves from Christianity) always end with "And thus we know the Christian god created this earth in 6 days as the bible says

4/20/2012 11:34:10 AM


There are plenty of ancient legends about aliens visiting the earth, but none about solar wind or cosmic microwave background radiation, so those must be bullshit.

It must hurt to be so stupid.

4/20/2012 11:52:45 AM

Or maybe they didn't have evolution stories back then because they weren't smart enough to figure it out back then and instead preferred to explain things that we know today are caused by scientific processes by using myths.

4/20/2012 11:57:42 AM

There are no ancient stories about the American Revolution either. I guess that never actually happened and it just got invented by the historical community.

4/20/2012 2:45:04 PM

Old Viking

That's a good jolt of Novocaine for the reader's brain.

4/20/2012 4:00:18 PM

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