Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 86995

The "hoofprints" of Satan were all over Wicca, and they were literally on me! As a High Priest, I did one ceremony invoking my "higher self" or Holy Guardian Angel. The being who man-ifested caused a candle in the temple to erupt violently. A little ball of fire or hot wax (I’ll never know for sure which) shot across the room and hit me in the forearm, leaving a searing brand in the precise shape of a cloven hoof. By that time, I saw it as a great blessing!

William Schnoebelen, Chick Publications 44 Comments [4/20/2012 3:30:33 AM]
Fundie Index: 50
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2


no, you were just really really high.

4/20/2012 4:02:00 AM

Atheissimo

That's the trouble with these Demon encounters, there's no internal consistency.

Other believers think that Demons are secretive and value the idea that people don't believe in them so they can continue their work unopposed. That's how they sneak into things like Satanism or Wicca, by manifesting as the beings the practitioners expect to see.

This guy seems to be saying that Satan would go so far as to deliberately reveal himself as Satan when the poster thought he was dealing with Wiccan spirits. That completely contradicts their modus operandi of disguising themselves.

4/20/2012 4:07:50 AM

Nerikull

Coming from Chick Publications, this seems pretty much on par with their usual delusions.

4/20/2012 4:10:29 AM



Schnoebelen has been revealed a fraud and none of his alledged activities have ever been substantiate. Chick Publications is the only place for someone like him.

4/20/2012 4:26:17 AM

Amadan

Fundie "I Was A Teenage [insert non-Fundie stereotype here] Story!

Consumer note: Veracity not included

4/20/2012 4:44:18 AM

Mister Spak

That was Voldemort at work.

4/20/2012 4:51:07 AM

Brendan Rizzo

Everyone knows you're a proven fraud, Billy. Heck, not even that many conservative Christians believe your shit anymore.

4/20/2012 4:58:45 AM

Horsefeathers

I see a new Chick Tract plot.

I wonder if Chick will cut you in for some royalties.

4/20/2012 6:48:36 AM

Doubting Thomas

Dude, you're not supposed to drink the bong water.

4/20/2012 7:00:31 AM

Filin De Blanc

Notice how no-one who doesn't belong in a mental institution ever seems to see this sort of thing.

4/20/2012 7:07:04 AM

Dr.Shrinker

Wow, and I thought His-4-Life's lies were entertaining.

4/20/2012 7:14:51 AM

David B.

Congratulations on the correct use of "literally" (I'll let "hoofprint" instead of "hoofmark" pass).

But you're still nuts.

4/20/2012 7:19:51 AM

\m/>_<\m/

reading: i lol

chick pubs: i lol harder

4/20/2012 7:40:22 AM

werewolf

Pull the other one.

4/20/2012 8:11:05 AM

navelgazer

*Cough*

Bullshit.

4/20/2012 8:29:37 AM

Mystik Spiral

Lotsa Wicca bashing today. And you know nothing about Wicca.

Oh wait... Chick Publications, lol. You know nothing about anything.

4/20/2012 9:25:01 AM

Pilotess

funny how half of the fundies used to be wiccan, and not just regular wiccan, no, they were all a high priest/ess

Reminds me of when people have flash backs to past lifes, nobody ever was a poor farmer or slave, they were all nobles, pricesses or somebody well to do ...

4/20/2012 9:26:27 AM

JB Mason

http://www.masonicinfo.com/schnoebelen.htm

4/20/2012 10:08:10 AM

Tag

Schnoebelen is hilarious. He believes in werewolves, you know. Also claims that while working as a paper delivery boy, he was in the Illuminati.

4/20/2012 10:20:07 AM

Filin De Blanc

"Schnoebelen is hilarious. He believes in werewolves, you know. Also claims that while working as a paper delivery boy, he was in the Illuminati. "

Wow, the standards for Illuminati hiring must've really slipped since I was a membe-I mean, wait, no, there's no such thing as the Illuminati, why would you think there was!?

4/20/2012 10:23:40 AM



Man-ifested?

4/20/2012 10:36:29 AM

Berny

Liars-for-Jesus: Part 4,554,872,409,347

4/20/2012 10:42:21 AM

Tatsukun

LOL @ Fundy boy lying for Jesus # 883,942

4/20/2012 10:49:41 AM

Stonespiral

I call bullshit.

4/20/2012 11:26:18 AM

Martha Jones

This guy's hilarious. He's been everything from a vampire to a Jehovah's Witness, all within a stupidly short period of time.

4/20/2012 11:55:42 AM
1 2