Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Mr Garrison?

Is that you?

Quote# 87132

The way i understand evolution is that out of nothing some kind of single celled organisim sprang and then that evolved into a two celled organism then that eventually turned into a fish, the fish turned into a lizard the lizard branched off and turned into a bird and a mammal and then from that we get monkeys and they turned into people. If that is true wouldnt it be possible to take something that already functions such as a wristwatch and send it off to a distant planet that resembles the conditions here on earth and have some kind of mars rover put it in the dirt and over millions of years shouldnt it turn into something? No it will still be a wristwatch in the dirt.

deciple, Atheist Forums 54 Comments [4/28/2012 4:42:13 AM]
Fundie Index: 63
Submitted By: Doubting Thomas
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3
Arctic Knight

"The way i understand evolution...."

Actually, you just demonstrated that you don't understand evolution at all.

4/28/2012 4:57:13 AM



I actually had a really disgusting experience because of this. As you know, it is generally considered traditional to give a person a wristwatch on their 21st birthday as an heirloom.

I got two wristwatches on my 21st, one from my parents and one from my grandparents. They were both quite valuable, so I stored them in the same box on my mantle piece so nobody would be offended and think I liked one more than the other.

One morning I went downstairs to fetch one of my watches to wear that day, and when I opened the box I saw the two watches engaged in deviant sexual intercourse before my very eyes. Such was the bestial nature of their congress that I was struck blind for several minutes, and the pigeons in a nearby tree fell into a deep coma from which they sill have not recovered.



OH WAIT. That didn't happen because watches are inorganic and DO NOT REPRODUCE. This is why they cannot evolve, because reproduction is required for mutations, and thus evolution, to happen.

Now read a book.

4/28/2012 5:28:33 AM

erlando

Evolution is a biological process requiring reproduction. A wrist watch does not reproduce.

You may think you understand evolution. You have just demonstrated that you do not.

4/28/2012 5:35:42 AM

D Laurier

So you dont understand evolution then.

4/28/2012 5:36:56 AM



Double post

4/28/2012 5:38:04 AM

Tallyho

Cognitive dissonance award!

4/28/2012 6:11:02 AM

Horsefeathers

"The way i understand evolution is that out of nothing some kind of single celled organisim sprang and then that evolved into a two celled organism then that eventually turned into a fish, the fish turned into a lizard the lizard branched off and turned into a bird and a mammal and then from that we get monkeys and they turned into people."

Well then, that right there would seem to be your problem.

"If that is true wouldnt it be possible to take something that already functions such as a wristwatch and send it off to a distant planet that resembles the conditions here on earth and have some kind of mars rover put it in the dirt and over millions of years shouldnt it turn into something?"

No.

Try again.

"No it will still be a wristwatch in the dirt."

No shit. Mostly because a wristwatch is not an imperfect replicator. It's also not biological.

4/28/2012 6:33:21 AM

ChakatBlackstar

I know what he said was wrong and why it's wrong...but let's not do that idea on the off hand that the watch might evolve into a Cylon. Just in case.

4/28/2012 6:33:25 AM

Doubting Thomas

I just had to submit this because this is a prime example of how there's something about the theory of evolution that seems to turn Christians into babbling idiots.

4/28/2012 6:41:55 AM



Of course, if you try really hard NOT to understand something you'd prefer to believe isn't true, that's really helpful, isn't it?

4/28/2012 6:47:30 AM

Apatheist

A wristwatch isn't organic you fucking twit.

4/28/2012 7:29:11 AM

John

wouldnt it be possible to take something that already functions such as a wristwatch and send it off to a distant planet that resembles the conditions here on earth and have some kind of mars rover put it in the dirt and over millions of years shouldnt it turn into something?

Depends. Does the watch carry its own variable blueprint, mate with another watch and reproduce itself using a mixture of the two blueprints, and if its offspring keeps bad time the offspring is killed off?

BTW, the same argument was made by Wm. Paley in 1802. Every biologist knows this. Darwin not only read and studied Paley's theological writings, but was housed in his old room at Cambridge. Scientists aren't as stupid as you think they are.

4/28/2012 7:29:55 AM

Extraintrovert

I think someone watches South Park too often.

@#1397358
You win for today. Wow.

4/28/2012 7:55:26 AM

Brendan Rizzo

Is it bad that I thought this was going to be about transgender people from reading the award title?

In any case, this argument is SO similar to Mr. Garrison's that I suspect Poe. But I am probably wrong.

4/28/2012 8:38:10 AM

Alencon

Ok, you made your point. You don't understand evolution.

4/28/2012 8:49:34 AM

Swede

Evolution is not abiogenesis. Clearly, you do not understand evolution.

I didn't know that wristwatches had DNA that could be mutated between generations. You learn something new every day...

4/28/2012 8:56:16 AM

tranz2deep

How you understand things is meaningless; you can't even spell "Disciple", you brainless prick.

4/28/2012 9:15:54 AM

Papabear

You need to start again because the way YOU understand evolution is nothing like the actual ToE. You cladistics are incorrect and overly simplified, and the ToE has nothing to do with the origin of life only its diversity.

That a wristwatch from Earth buried on Mars is still a wristwatch is utterly irrelevant.

4/28/2012 9:29:49 AM

Cookie Overlord

Bacteria on your wristwatch will evolve tough..

4/28/2012 9:46:12 AM

Ebon

Wristwatches don't reproduce, braintrust.

4/28/2012 10:42:30 AM



Fucking moron, stop comparing living things with inanimate objects.

4/28/2012 11:00:55 AM

Anon-e-moose

"The way i understand evolution"

...is that you don't. Because you've never read "On the Origin of Species" in your life.

'Why don't those in the Bible Belt accept Evolution? Because it hasn't happened there yet.' You are the reason why that joke exists, deciple.

"If that is true wouldnt it be possible to take something that already functions such as a wristwatch and send it off to a distant planet that resembles the conditions here on earth and have some kind of mars rover put it in the dirt and over millions of years shouldnt it turn into something? No it will still be a wristwatch in the dirt."

Which will still be made by Rolex/Tudor, Omega*, Breitling, Eterna, Patek Philippe, Baume et Mercier, Jaeger LeCoultre - or even Sekonda. Even the watchmaker had a mother/father.

But you want to spend billions of dollars on a mission to launch a several thousand/hundred/tens of pounds timepiece to Mars, just so that NASA's still-operational MER Rover Opportunity can detect it, you go right ahead, derpcycle. The staff at NASA/JPL could do with a laugh!

*- Speedmasters were standard issue to the Apollo astronauts. In Apollo 13, Jack Swigert even improvised the tachymetre bezel on such as a slide rule, so as to calculate the seventh course correction burn, as they wanted to save precious power that would otherwise be wasted in using the Command Module's main computer (which had just 32K of RAM. Just consider that, next time you complain about not having enough memory in your 'puters!)

4/28/2012 11:21:52 AM

Rabbit of Caerbannog


4/28/2012 11:30:54 AM

Old Viking

You make a good point. Let me think about this and I'll get back to you.

4/28/2012 12:09:35 PM

Reynardine

Reminds me of the crazy ag student I heard about, who planted buttered popcorn so the corn would grow already popped and buttered. I mean crazy, not just dumb.

4/28/2012 12:15:10 PM
1 2 3