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Quote# 87133

I was taught about Darwin's Therory of evaluation. I think I fell for that. God straightened me out

LoveJesus24, Fresh Hope 59 Comments [4/28/2012 4:42:25 AM]
Fundie Index: 65
Submitted By: physalis17
WTF?! || meh
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Old Viking

God straightened me out.

Not completely.

4/28/2012 12:05:17 PM

Berny

If Jesus really existed, I'd have to ask him why his followers are so stupid.

4/28/2012 12:42:49 PM

gaijinlaw

I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt and assume autocorrect but... "therory"?

Still a dummy either way.

4/28/2012 12:51:30 PM

Skatepunk

You can't spell. You can't punctuate. You failed to do both in just three sentences. Why should we listen to what you have to say?

4/28/2012 1:36:45 PM

whoanelly

God should also teach you how to spell.

4/28/2012 1:55:13 PM

Agahnim

What's a therory? Something like Einstein's therory of Relation?

4/28/2012 1:58:37 PM

Osiris



Behold Therory!

4/28/2012 2:04:30 PM

aaa

Something tells me that you aren't exactly the sharpest mind of our times.

4/28/2012 2:08:20 PM

Vince

Thanks for this. I needed a good laugh.

4/28/2012 2:09:58 PM

farpadokly

Oh, I think I see your mistake. You were supposed to learn about Darwin's theory of EVOLUTION. Instead, you learned about some other guy called Darwin and his theory about evaluating things. No wonder God thinks you're a fool.

4/28/2012 2:31:14 PM

Prager

Therory of evaluation? What the hell is that?

4/28/2012 2:53:19 PM

The Duelist

Poe. If not, it shouldn't be allowed to breed.

4/28/2012 4:17:26 PM

Professor Smartypants

Something tells me you didn't fall for the contraventions of English shelling either, ...

4/28/2012 4:29:08 PM

John

God straightened me out

No, some imaginary voice in your head "straightened you out". Why would the Lord of the Universe, if He exists, waste His time giving you telepathic science lessons?

4/28/2012 5:39:07 PM



Poe?

4/28/2012 10:40:36 PM

Extraintrovert

@Osiris
You win. There's no way that could possibly be surpassed.

4/29/2012 2:35:24 AM

breakerslion

Please elborate. I myself personly never got passed Louie Passtour's German Therory.

People say homskul is easy but its not. Hint. The right answer is Got Milk? Go figure!

Edit: @ Draken, below:

Wow. Typical cultist paranoia against anything that might compete against the strangle hold on their followers. It takes a whole new level of crazy to include books like "Yoga Stretch for Fitness." It does however, fit the basic Christian cult formula of, "everyone else is doing it wrong - and thereby of the devil!"

4/29/2012 4:10:57 AM

Draken

You should see their amazing list of authors not to read. Hint: it's not only Darwin and Ehrman.

4/29/2012 4:13:00 AM

SpukiKitty

@Draken

Egads! The folks at Fresh-Crap are against everybody...even some of the most respected stuff of Christian literary history: John of The Cross, St. Ignatius, Theresa of Avila, "The Cloud of Unknowing", Julian of Norwich, etc....

Some of the list I agree with, most of the list with the goofy Charismatic/Word-Faith/Dominionist/Televangelist stuff.

Let's see, this person does not like Charismatic/Pentecostal, Dominionism, Christian Mysticism, Roman Catholicism, Eastern Orthodoxy, Esoterica, Kabbalah, Sufism, Centering Prayer, Other Religions, Yoga, Meditation, Self-Help, Oprah Winfrey, "Chicken Soup For The Soul"....

I'd say this a very boring, traditional, fundie type you'd find in the backwoods or something. She doesn't seem to be fond of most theology/faith-based writings.

"Y'all kin keep yer reedin', rahtin' an edjukashun, all ah's needs is mah Bahble!"

4/29/2012 10:43:11 AM

Renon

And I sutdyed geopology so I could help the enerdy companies harness unobtanium.

4/29/2012 11:10:43 AM

The Dude Abides

I feel sorry for whoever taught you Darwin's theory of evolution, or at least tried to. Or spelling. Or pretty much anything.

4/29/2012 3:16:16 PM

Giveitaday

I was taught about Darwin's Therory of evaluation

Let me guess... it was right after you were taught about Newton's Theory of Figs, right?

I think I fell for that.

Oh, I think you fell alright.... fell on you're fucking head.

God straightened me out

Doesn't appear to have helped you all that much.

4/30/2012 3:36:04 AM

Mister Spak

Good,good. Now try Darwins Theory of evolution. That'll straighten you out.

4/30/2012 5:38:36 AM

rebel

Me thinks someone should return to school...

4/30/2012 6:08:31 AM

werewolf

Look, I had enough trouble trying to understand George Einstein's Therory of Special Relationships. It's all gone quantum, now.

4/30/2012 10:10:30 AM
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