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This legions of angels thingy rang a bell, so I checked the gospel. Yup, there it is. Jesus was very thrifty with his angels. Facing crucifixion he told Pilate he could theoretically call in more than 6000 angels to his defense (12 legions), but refused to do so.
Matthew 26:53: Thinkest thou that I cannot now pray to my Father, and he shall presently give me more than twelve legions of angels?
If Jesus only needed 6000 to defend himself against the Roman army, this 50 quintillion thing must have to do with modern weapons. drones, lasers, and all that Top Secret stuff in Area 51.
I wonder if God saw this coming?
5/1/2012 2:33:26 PM
It is immoral to laugh at people who are clinically insane.
5/1/2012 4:07:58 PM
If you wanted to not have your house destroyed, you shouldn't have called X-com. Its either be homeless and possibly on fire, or be infested with alien eggs, not both.
5/1/2012 5:09:38 PM
I was abducted by the military once. Ooh, the sneaky bastards just circumvent all the hocus pocus and send you a letter that says, "Greetings,..."
Billions of angels, pfffftt!. Send me a lawyer, a Canadian one.
5/1/2012 7:09:32 PM
...Or you could just lay salt in the foundations of your home to avoid demons.
And try the Ritual Romanum, that should help.
5/1/2012 7:30:21 PM
Fawful has seen God has a vagina on top of his penis
5/1/2012 8:09:39 PM
If the house is sealed off from creation, how is he going to get in (or out)?
5/1/2012 8:13:33 PM
That is some weapons-grade crazy right there.
'Free the demons' could be a clever euphemism for orgasm. Then they'd never have to use any real sexual language, thus keeping themselves pure in every way.
5/1/2012 8:18:28 PM
Crazy people, never change. That way, you might be useful idiots for my purposes.
5/1/2012 9:37:12 PM
This CRIES poe...
5/1/2012 10:19:54 PM
Cthulhu keeps those pesky gangs of rollerskating penguins away from my place.
Very decent of him!
5/1/2012 11:38:40 PM
Another schizophrenic with a website I see.
5/2/2012 3:12:29 AM
So if nothing can get in or out of your house, how come you still have electricity and internet access?
5/2/2012 4:25:32 AM
That wasn't Cthulu, that was Azathoth-worshipping shoggoth.
5/2/2012 8:26:58 AM
I prayed to the Immortal Emperor of Mankind, and He sent his Blood Angels of Death to smite my foes.
5/2/2012 8:27:01 AM
Funny, I don't feel more educated for having read this.
5/2/2012 9:06:54 AM
5/2/2012 9:19:56 AM
Sounds like something inside the cover of an Al-Qaeda manual.
5/2/2012 10:38:47 AM
You laugh now, but none of the people doing this have been abducted by aliens, the military, or fractals.
Ergo, it works. Nyah.
5/2/2012 10:53:20 AM
Ronseal Angel Shield. It does exactly what it says on the tin.
Also, how shite must angles be? You need "hundreds, hundreds, hundreds and hundreds of billions of legions of angels" to protect one house with a ranting know-nothing yeast infection in it. Surely their omnipotent sky-daddy has better things to do...
5/2/2012 11:14:35 AM
What if your abduction is in your god's plan ? Won't he smite you to death for opposing him ?
5/3/2012 6:09:01 AM
"Smithers, release the angels!"
Can't you just see Monty releasing his legions of angels on those pesky aliens and military trying to retrieve their regular, living, fractal, and living fractal baseballs from his lawn?
5/3/2012 8:35:09 AM
Sadly, this isn't the craziest thing I've read today. But it's definitely in today's Top 5.
I will say that I asked for the spirit of Samus Aran to protect me from alien space pirates - and to date, I have yet to encounter any! :D
I keep seeing the "Star Trek" Federation insignia when I look at that.
5/3/2012 3:36:09 PM
I've already done a flat what twice today, so I'm doing it in German this time.
Was. (Not it's pronounced "vahss," not like the English word "was.")
5/4/2012 1:21:59 AM
Why stop there, though. Might as well protect the whole nation with this defense scheme.
5/4/2012 2:40:35 AM
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