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Quote# 87302

You know what they say. History is written by the victors. The satanic witches won and now they run our country. That's why history books say they weren't really witches.

You must understand God can not be evil. For he is God. He decides what is good and what is evil and he never does evil. Evil is the absense of God. If God decides someone has to die then it is God's will and it is good. Maybe they were bad and God wants to rush them to hell, or maybe they were about to encounter something terrible and God was getting them to heaven early so they wouldn't have to deal with it.

But for the most part if you are innocent God will show you to be innocent and if you are guilty God will show you to be guilty so long as the accused puts their faith in God that he will show the correct result.

That is why we must bring back trial by ordeal.

You keep repeating "they weren't really witches." over and over. Please provide some evidence other than that historians don't think they were real witches and a few people (probably under the command of Satan) renounced their testimony.

ServantofChrist, Unenumerated 90 Comments [5/13/2012 4:49:29 AM]
Fundie Index: 228
WTF?! || meh
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OhJohnNo

CTSTDT, surely?

5/13/2012 4:57:01 AM

Tempus

I don't want to live in your insane wingnutocracy, thank you.

5/13/2012 5:01:26 AM

Brendan Rizzo

This is one of the vilest quotes on this site, and also provides an excellent example of "garbage in, garbage out". Let's see our servant of Christ go through an ordeal and receive a verdict of guilty; then we'll see how much he likes it.

I hope that this gets a Fundie Index in the hundreds before the day is out. I cannot sleep peacefully at night knowing that there is anybody in the 21st century who still believes in this barbarity. In fact, we should bring him up whenever somebody asks what harm religion does to society. Is there any chance that he would believe this thuggery if he were an atheist?

5/13/2012 5:18:29 AM

Reynardine

Yeah, you've convinced me to bring back boiling in oil...for you.

5/13/2012 5:20:32 AM

Mister Spak

But for the most part if you are innocent God will show you to be innocent and if you are guilty God will show you to be guilty so long as the accused puts their faith in God that he will show the correct result. "

Please provide some evidence other than some fundie was foaming at the mouth.

5/13/2012 5:21:04 AM

Zimmer

@ Rizzo

My Poe sense is tingling, actually.

5/13/2012 5:21:34 AM

breakerslion

"If God decides someone has to die then it is God's will and it is good."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkJcFGvNgcY&feature=related

"Please provide some evidence other than that historians don't think they were real witches and a few people (probably under the command of Satan) renounced their testimony."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yp_l5ntikaU

Derp.

That is all.

5/13/2012 5:34:38 AM

Atheissimo

I'm hoping that this is a Poe, because I would be sad if I thought a person could be this much like a Monty Python pastiche of a bloodthirsty cleric.

Blood for the blood god! Skulls for his skull throne!

5/13/2012 5:35:06 AM

SpukiKitty

*oogh* Please be a Poe!


5/13/2012 5:48:20 AM

anevilmeme

Poe. Spelling and grammer are too good to be a real fundie.

5/13/2012 5:50:47 AM

OhJohnNo

@anevilmeme: We've had well-spoken fundies on here plenty of times before.

5/13/2012 5:53:29 AM

Apatheist

Let's see, magic doesn't exist.

5/13/2012 5:53:46 AM

Swede

You don't believe in "innocent until proven guilty", I see.

Many "witches" deviated from what what considered the norm (they didn't want to marry but preferred to live alone, for example), or they lived on a piece of land that someone else wanted, or they stood in line to inherit something valuable that someone farther down the line wanted. The easiest way to get rid of someone was to spread the rumor that he or she was a witch/warlock.

5/13/2012 6:02:37 AM

Darkevilme

"You keep repeating "they weren't really witches." over and over. Please provide some evidence other than that historians don't think they were real witches and a few people (probably under the command of Satan) renounced their testimony."

Easy, Witches DONT FUCKING EXIST.

You may as well be trying them for the murder of the goddamn easter bunny.

5/13/2012 6:13:16 AM

LAchlan

You are actually demented. And that's an insult to demented people the world over.

5/13/2012 6:23:48 AM

Nicole

This guy needs to die in a fire. The one he's already built for witches will do nicely.

5/13/2012 6:27:32 AM

A Buddhist

Um, god creates evil!

Amos 3:3 Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
3:4 Will a lion roar in the forest, when he hath no prey? will a young lion cry out of his den, if he have taken nothing?
3:5 Can a bird fall in a snare upon the earth, where no gin is for him? shall one take up a snare from the earth, and have taken nothing at all?
3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

Quite aside from that, witches do not exist.

5/13/2012 6:34:47 AM

Horsefeathers

"You know what they say. History is written by the victors. The satanic witches won and now they run our country. That's why history books say they weren't really witches."

Oh, of course! It's so obvious!

"You must understand God can not be evil. For he is God."

Apparently you've never actually read your Wholly Babble before, nor are you particularly well versed in other religions.

"He decides what is good and what is evil and he never does evil."

This seems not only quite arbitrary, but also some serious special pleading. Not only that, if we humans can identify evil, and then your god does those same things in the Bible, then your god is evil.

"Evil is the absense of God. If God decides someone has to die then it is God's will and it is good."

That's not quite how that works.

"Maybe they were bad and God wants to rush them to hell, or maybe they were about to encounter something terrible and God was getting them to heaven early so they wouldn't have to deal with it."

Or maybe shit happens and your god has nothing to do with it whether they're "good" or "bad" people.

"That is why we must bring back trial by ordeal."

Fine. I accuse you of being a witch. Let's begin, shall we?

5/13/2012 6:38:30 AM

Raised by Horses

For the last fucking time, the onus is on gullible fuckwits like you to prove that witchcraft (or any other superstitous bullshit you believe in) actually exists, not on us to disprove it.

5/13/2012 6:45:30 AM

Papabear

It seems pretty hard to make a case for your omnipotnet God if he's let the "Satanic witches" win.

5/13/2012 6:49:50 AM

zoltán

"It seems pretty hard to make a case for your omnipotnet God if he's let the "Satanic witches" win."

God is one of 'them'! That's the only explanation.

5/13/2012 7:13:28 AM

Arctic Knight

"Evil is the absense of God."

So your god really isn't omnipresent. Why the hell call it a god then?

5/13/2012 7:17:08 AM

Fundies Make Me Sick

You are not a servant of Christ, you're a servant of Satan, for you revel in the idea of inflicting unspeakable horrors on innocent people just to get your kicks. You are a sick, sick bastard.

5/13/2012 7:18:02 AM

John

So basically, you're saying you'll never accept any evidence that you're wrong, since anyone who tells you you're wrong got their information from a liar.

Evil is the absense of God.

Ever heard of the "sin of omission"? Since God is supposedly omnipotent and omniscient, the "absence of God" is impossible - He either willfully ignores it or is unable to stop it.

"Therefore, to one who knows the right thing to do and does not do it, to him it is sin." (James 4:17)

5/13/2012 7:31:04 AM

Jessica

OK, we bring back trial by ordeal. Just for you. We set alight or pour boiling water on on a part of your body, right on the exposed flesh and if the flesh hasn't completely healed with no sign at all of injury in twenty four hours, then you are one of Satan's minions and should be killed, for your own good. Trial by ordeal should then right away be made illegal as it was an idea of a limb of Satan, and we should go back to the flawed trial by jury or judge.
Fair enough?

5/13/2012 7:46:13 AM
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