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Quote# 87333

Here's a poem that I wrote today that I hope you will be blessed from reading. I wrote it for the mothers and wives who visit my website, to those ladies who are loyal to your husbands and children...

Thank God for mothers in the home,
who have inspired me to write this poem.
May God bless her day-by-day,
as she looketh well to her family's way.

Thank God for mothers who faithful stay,
guiding her family in every way.
Blessed are mothers who will never have fame,
but her children will not bring her to shame.

Early and often doth she arise,
because in the Lord she is wise.
Never a provision doth her family lack,
because with her hands she is not slack.

Her husband doth safely trust in his wife,
for he knows she will not cause him strife.
Away from her duties she will never roam,
for she doth know that her place is in the home.



David J. Stewart, Jesus-is-saviour 99 Comments [5/15/2012 3:25:57 AM]
Fundie Index: 60
Submitted By: JohnTheAtheist
WTF?! || meh
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CelticPagan

Don't quit your day job.

5/15/2012 3:28:54 AM

Sgt

At first I was like 'meh'. Then I was all like 'WTF?'.

5/15/2012 3:30:11 AM

Pup

Written by a dude. What a surprise.

5/15/2012 3:33:29 AM

Lezemotu

"because with her hands she is not slack. "

What I like best in a woman

5/15/2012 3:39:29 AM

Prager

If that's what she wants then more power to her.

5/15/2012 3:42:20 AM

gravematter

Fucketh off.

5/15/2012 3:45:01 AM

Tempus

I fixed coq au vin for mine.

Fuck you, Davey Boy. She can do whatever she wants.

5/15/2012 3:46:21 AM

Meishayuri

Oh for fuck's sake this man needs to get laid already. Someone buy him a whore.

5/15/2012 3:53:49 AM

Mudak

Considering the author, he's done worse.

That said, I think Vogon poetry is getting a serious challenge to its status...

5/15/2012 3:55:07 AM

Diatryma

Apart from the burning stupid... what Mudak said. He can't even follow the meter. Ack.

5/15/2012 4:02:09 AM

Hertzyscowicz

And if the supper's ever late,
she is reconciled to her fate.
She makes excuses for black eyes,
for in the lord she is wise.

5/15/2012 4:07:16 AM

Indicible

Add any more sugar and it's diabetes...
And it is awful poetry.

All in all, it completely misses its aims.

5/15/2012 4:10:45 AM

michael3ov

You do know that poems do not have to rhyme, correct?

Your sad attempt to just throw in words haphazardly in order to make it rhyme tells me that you should never, ever write poetry again.

Now go and ponder equality and whether or not your misogyny is an ethical and rational position.

5/15/2012 4:29:48 AM

Mihangel apYrs

"home" does not rhyme with "poem" except in Vogon poetry.

Please die

5/15/2012 4:48:48 AM

Brendan Rizzo

My mother has a job. Are you insulting my mother, Dave?

And what are the odds that two different people would independently submit a Stewart quote on the same day?

5/15/2012 4:55:31 AM

Danarth

You know, given that a family is generally better off, if both parents are working then David's little diatribe is encouraging families to worsen their lot in life.

What a cretin.

5/15/2012 5:02:06 AM

Philbert McAdamia

You suck. Thou sucketh.


Methinks I hear a jackass bray
Else it's a rhyme by David J.
Blabbing like a mental case
To say his mom knows her place.

5/15/2012 5:11:09 AM

Mister Spak

Here's a poem I hope you will be blessed by reading:

R'LYEH CTHULHU FTHAGN! IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN!CTHULHU FTHAGN! PH'NGLUI MGLW'NFAH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN! IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN! PH'NGLUI MGLW'NFAH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN!
IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN!
IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN!
CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN! CTHULHU FTHAGN! PH'NGLUI MGLW'NFAH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN! PH'NGLUI MGLW"NAFH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN
IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN!
IA! IA! CTHULHU FTHAGN!
CTHULHU FTHAGN! PH'NGLUI MGLW'NFAH CTHULHU R'LYEH WGAH'NAGL FHTAGN!
FHTAGN!


5/15/2012 5:21:53 AM

Dr.Shrinker

@ Pup

An unmarried dude at that.

5/15/2012 5:34:42 AM

Draken

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.

So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't-a come back.

5/15/2012 5:42:00 AM

D Laurier

This clapptrap is not poetry Davy... It is RUBBISH.

5/15/2012 5:46:36 AM

Pule Thamex

A woman's hands
so kind and soft
to cup a ball
and do it oft.

But their proper use,
God's great design,
make sandwiches
that men may dine.

You kiddy diddler
may offer plaint
that mature woman
is somehow taint.

In truth she's a mother.
Though thou mayest think
she should be chained
to the kitchen sink.

It's plain to see your tortured mind
struggles to mix with human kind.
It is why you are so reviled
by every adult and every child.

5/15/2012 6:05:21 AM

Doubting Thomas

I was thinking "not particularly fundie" until I read the last verse. But I think I could do one better:

She takes no interest in the game,
For her all sports are the same.
She makes her husband a sandwich,
And at him never does she bitch.

And in bed at the end of the day,
She lets her husband have his way.
For she knows that from the day of the Quaker,
A woman is destined to be just a baby maker.

5/15/2012 6:10:42 AM

OhJohnNo

@Gravematter: OK, you win this comments section. Perfection in 3 syllables.

This guy, meanwhile, wins nothing except a few facepalms.

5/15/2012 6:11:08 AM

Joe Mama

No wonder David J. Stewart is so sexually frustrated. An attitude like that makes women's vaginas clamp shut faster than a bear trap.

5/15/2012 6:41:00 AM
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