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Quote# 87468

I've heard one to the effect that the earth is going to suddenly emit some massive electrical type of energy that will immediately disintigrate anyone who's molecules are particularly sensitive to the electrical field. For some reason, this will include only Christians and children.

I've also heard that the earth itself is going to become so disgusted with Christians, that it will generate, on it's own, an anti-gravity field that will cause all Christians to be sent into outerspace, to our doom.

My own personal opinion is that scientists will turn on the Hadron Collider at the same moment as the rapture, allowing 'scientists', politicians and Jesse and Al to blame the Hadron Collider for the sudden disappearance of millions of people. No one knows what will happen when it's turned on and it's just a thought that's gone through my mind for a while.

Lord willing, we'll hang around in the air for a few minutes so people can look up and see that we're with our Lord, without fear and rejoicing in His presence. That way some will accept the obvious, that it's the real rapture prophecied of by Paul in the first century Anno Domini. The majority would no doubt refuse to believe the evidence of their eyes.


Verisimilitude, Rapture Ready 84 Comments [5/21/2012 8:23:01 AM]
Fundie Index: 136
Submitted By: Amber
WTF?! || meh
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Bad Wolf

*snicker* Chortle, Chuckle, OMG! HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW HAW!

Is he really serious?!?

Thanks, Amber, for the best laugh I've had in weeks!

5/21/2012 8:27:51 AM

Patrick

This guy belongs in Arkham Asylum.

Seriously, what's the difference between him and all the escaped crazies roaming the grounds during the game?

5/21/2012 8:32:49 AM

RiJayden

Your statement was batshit crazy without putting Jackson and Sharpton in it. Poe or trifecta.

5/21/2012 8:34:12 AM

Filin De Blanc

"Seriously, what's the difference between him and all the escaped crazies roaming the grounds during the game?"

He doesn't emit bone-chilling shrieks. I hated those guys. -shudder-

I love how the Rapturites assume we're all as gullible as they are. For Luna's sake, none of us are that idiotic that we would seriously believe that the Earth itself would magically banish Christians into outer space. The only people who would believe something that ridiculous are you lot.

5/21/2012 8:37:20 AM

zipperback

This was posted last week.

The Large Hadron Collider has been doing experiments at full power since mid-2009.

5/21/2012 8:38:56 AM

Doubting Thomas

These Rapture Ready idiots really need to get out more. Sitting around in your basement thinking about the rapture while reading the bible is having serious effects on their mental health.

5/21/2012 8:40:08 AM

OhJohnNo

For a moment I thought this was an atheist fundie wishing for a genocide of all Christians, but nope, just generic rapture stuff. WTF-worthy, but boringly so.

5/21/2012 8:45:47 AM

Canadiest

It is important to note that these fears of the LHC is exclusively in the fundie community of America.

All their churchs do is introduce one irrational fear after another to the flock and I'm betting everytime they say God needs more money or he'll have a tantrum about this shit.

5/21/2012 8:51:16 AM

Prager

"Nurse, Verisimilitude is out of bed again!"

5/21/2012 8:51:30 AM

Osiris

Have we started to infiltrate RR as part of an experiment to see how much bat-shit insane things we can get these idiots to believe? Because that is the only explanation of this I'm willing to accept.

5/21/2012 8:53:36 AM

ChakatBlackstar

That's just wrong on so many levels. Clearly another child left behind.

5/21/2012 9:00:57 AM

Szena

Those people will believe anything, wont't they?

5/21/2012 9:14:05 AM

Flah

Veri, honey, they already turned the LHC on four years ago. And it's doing a good job too.

As for the rest: It doesn't count if you heard it from the voices in your head.

5/21/2012 9:24:47 AM

gravematter

"I've also heard that the earth itself is going to become so disgusted with Christians, that it will generate, on it's own, an anti-gravity field that will cause all Christians to be sent into outerspace, to our doom."

Can this really not be a poe?

5/21/2012 9:48:11 AM

Ebon

The LHC has been running at full power for years.

5/21/2012 9:50:20 AM

Brendan Rizzo

But none of this is scientifically possible...

5/21/2012 10:01:20 AM

John_in_Oz

Not even the faintest attempt at Verisimilitude.

5/21/2012 10:08:49 AM

Woody

"The majority would no doubt refuse to believe the evidence of their eyes"

OK, here's the deal; I'll believe it when I see it. In the meantime, I won't be holding my breath.

Can I get on with real life now?

Edit: Amber, why did you pick this comment from that RR thread? The whole thread a steaming pile of fail! There are energy beams going to be around sucking up Xtians and all sorts.

5/21/2012 10:24:47 AM

Ludd

Speaking of evidence, you really have no fucking idea what that words means, do you?

5/21/2012 10:41:25 AM

D Laurier

The Hadron Collider was turned on over a year ago.
No "rapture".
No "sudden disappearance of millions of people".

Most non-fundies tend to believe the evidence of their eyes. I dont see this changing any time soon.

5/21/2012 10:52:16 AM

whatever

"I've heard one to the effect that the earth is going to suddenly emit some massive electrical type of energy that will immediately disintigrate anyone who's molecules are particularly sensitive to the electrical field. For some reason, this will include only Christians and children."

Yeh. But not me. I wear a tinfoil hat.

Oh, and I'm not a Christian.

5/21/2012 10:58:13 AM

Liz

I fell like it would be really funny to convince these people that the rapture happened and they were left behind

5/21/2012 11:13:17 AM

Canuovea

Floating... on the edge... on the edge...

Of insanity.

5/21/2012 11:18:14 AM

Dr.Shrinker

Your lot should be used to disappointment by now.

5/21/2012 11:20:02 AM

nazani14

Don't get your hopes up, only women with big cans will be raptured. I've seen the authorized comic book:
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_BLlJwLdIRpk/R_lIjPPD0KI/AAAAAAAAAlo/NhTpiYrf4Jw/s400/The+Rapture.jpg

5/21/2012 11:20:13 AM
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