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Quote# 87468

I've heard one to the effect that the earth is going to suddenly emit some massive electrical type of energy that will immediately disintigrate anyone who's molecules are particularly sensitive to the electrical field. For some reason, this will include only Christians and children.

I've also heard that the earth itself is going to become so disgusted with Christians, that it will generate, on it's own, an anti-gravity field that will cause all Christians to be sent into outerspace, to our doom.

My own personal opinion is that scientists will turn on the Hadron Collider at the same moment as the rapture, allowing 'scientists', politicians and Jesse and Al to blame the Hadron Collider for the sudden disappearance of millions of people. No one knows what will happen when it's turned on and it's just a thought that's gone through my mind for a while.

Lord willing, we'll hang around in the air for a few minutes so people can look up and see that we're with our Lord, without fear and rejoicing in His presence. That way some will accept the obvious, that it's the real rapture prophecied of by Paul in the first century Anno Domini. The majority would no doubt refuse to believe the evidence of their eyes.


Verisimilitude, Rapture Ready 83 Comments [5/21/2012 8:23:01 AM]
Fundie Index: 136
Submitted By: Amber
WTF?! || meh
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Quantum Mechanic

Smoking the good shit?

5/21/2012 8:11:29 PM



I'd be all for the Earth doing that to Christians, but let's keep our children please.

5/21/2012 8:33:45 PM

rebel

For a second I thought this was some sort of Sci- Fi novel idea.

5/21/2012 10:39:49 PM

solomongrundy

Doesn't the Bible have a verse threartening eternal damnation to those who add to it?

That's a rhetorical qusetion, by the way...)

5/21/2012 10:59:50 PM

farpadokly

The idiocy of literalism strikes again. I wonder what Paul would think, sitting writing his letter to the Thessalonians, if he knew his metaphors would be taken literally in the far future by idiots on an as yet undiscovered continent, who would also add their own sci-fi elements.

5/21/2012 11:59:37 PM

Joker

Oh I get it, this is based of a claim from the Left Behind novels that the 'antichrist' uses to explain the rapture. Could be a Poe, or just someone who got WAY too into the books.

5/22/2012 12:22:16 AM

Nowonmai

Someone has watched "FRINGE" one time too many.

5/22/2012 12:45:58 AM

Pioneer

Okay, I'll bite. Why wouldn't the planet send people of other religions into outer space? What makes Christians "worse"?
And what if you're indoors? You'll just get stuck to the ceiling, or squished against it if the force is strong enough. Some rapture.

5/22/2012 2:05:58 AM

Mister Spak

"I've heard one to the effect . . ."

These things you've heard came from other reality challenged fundies.

"My own personal opinion is that scientists will turn on the Hadron Collider at the same moment as the rapture, allowing 'scientists', politicians and Jesse and Al to blame the Hadron Collider for the sudden disappearance of millions of people.

Why not blame it on a nigger in the white house? It makes as much sense.

5/22/2012 5:30:58 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

Looky here! This is what I discovered through a Google search lasting several seconds. The following bulleted items are from Wiki:

• On 10 September 2008, the proton beams were successfully circulated in the main ring of the LHC for the first time, but 9 days later operations were halted due to a magnet quench incident resulting from an electrical fault. The following helium gas explosion damaged over 50 superconducting magnets and their mountings, and contaminated the vacuum pipe.

• On 20 November 2009 they were successfully circulated again, with the first recorded proton–proton collisions occurring 3 days later at the injection energy of 450 GeV per beam.

• On 30 March 2010, the first collisions took place between two 3.5 TeV beams, setting the current world record for the highest-energy man-made particle collisions, and the LHC began its planned research program.

• The LHC will operate at 4 TeV per beam until the end of 2012, 0.5 TeV higher than 2010 and 2011. It will then go into shutdown for 20 months for upgrades to allow full energy operation (7 TeV per beam), with reopening planned for late 2014.

i.e., no Rapture in 2013

LHC has been turned on twice and has been on continuously since November 20, 2009. Let’s face it, you’ve been left behind and you’re stuck here like the rest of us until you die.

5/22/2012 5:56:49 AM

Sephirose

...this guy has broken the Fail Scale.

5/22/2012 6:17:31 AM

Horsefeathers

"I've heard one to the effect that the earth is going to suddenly emit some massive electrical type of energy that will immediately disintigrate anyone who's molecules are particularly sensitive to the electrical field. For some reason, this will include only Christians and children."

Heard this from where, the voices in your head?

"I've also heard that the earth itself is going to become so disgusted with Christians, that it will generate, on it's own, an anti-gravity field that will cause all Christians to be sent into outerspace, to our doom."

Where in the hell do you people come up with this goofy shit?

"My own personal opinion is that scientists will turn on the Hadron Collider at the same moment as the rapture, allowing 'scientists', politicians and Jesse and Al to blame the Hadron Collider for the sudden disappearance of millions of people. No one knows what will happen when it's turned on and it's just a thought that's gone through my mind for a while."

Someone tell me this isn't a current post on Rapture Ready.

Last I heard, the LHC had already been "turned on" for quite some time, with one or two periods where it needed to be shut down for tweaks/repairs.

"Lord willing, we'll hang around in the air for a few minutes so people can look up and see that we're with our Lord, without fear and rejoicing in His presence. That way some will accept the obvious, that it's the real rapture prophecied of by Paul in the first century Anno Domini. The majority would no doubt refuse to believe the evidence of their eyes."

Please, take your meds. These "thoughts" will stop and you won't look like such a moron.

5/22/2012 6:34:06 AM

Dr.Shrinker

"Lord willing, we'll hang around in the air for a few minutes so people can look up and see that we're with our Lord, without fear and rejoicing in His presence."


So being with god isn't enough for you. You want to make sure all the people who disagreed with you are eating their hearts out as well.

Jesus had something to say about people who practice their religion in order to impress others. Ah, but that is in the gospels, the part of the bible that your lot prefers to ignore.

5/22/2012 6:40:36 AM

Joe Mama

I would hope that the earth wouldn't just fling Christians off its face. There's already too much space junk flying around up there. Hopefully they'll fly directly toward the sun.

5/22/2012 6:41:46 AM

SpukiKitty

@farpadokly

Heck, I say the same about all that sexist, homophobic, anti-semetic junk attributed to him. Those epistles & verses were most likely forgeries. The real Paul was actually thought quite highly of female ministers & leaders, thanking them by name, even addressing one as an Apostle.

5/22/2012 7:59:37 AM

detrius

Funny, I just downloaded the old video game "Forsaken" and now I read a fundie comment that seems to be referring to its background story.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chFTHkmXbkE

Ah, good old times.

5/22/2012 8:58:24 AM

detrius

I've also heard that the earth itself is going to become so disgusted with Christians, that it will generate, on it's own, an anti-gravity field that will cause all Christians to be sent into outerspace, to our doom.

Okay, but what if you're inside a building? If you're in a church when gravity reverses, you might very well 'fall' several meters until you hit the ceiling and break your neck. Does that mean millions of Christians will have to climb upside-down to get out of their homes? You better start installing ladders right now.

5/22/2012 9:07:40 AM

Anon-e-moose

"My own personal opinion is that scientists will turn on the Hadron Collider at the same moment as the rapture, allowing 'scientists', politicians and Jesse and Al to blame the Hadron Collider for the sudden disappearance of millions of people."

...or mayhaps the scientists there will use the LHC to create - and direct in specific areas - Gravitons to keep you lot on Earth, and we Atheists will be 'taken up' in your stead, via directed Antigravitons. And with the exotic energies that 27 Km circumference Doctrine-destroying Doughnut can chuck out, who knows what dimension-warping capabilities it has; even opening a portal to the Spiritual realm: as in we Atheists can enter, nay, invade Heaven, and claim it as our own. [/Reverse Half-Life]

>:D

You don't know what they're doing at CERN, or what they - with that thing - are really capable of. Do you.

...oh, and as for your 'own personal opinion'; as The Dude would say...:


5/22/2012 9:41:30 AM

Frank

"Lord willing, we'll hang around in the air for a few minutes so people can look up and see that we're with our Lord"

Better make sure you're wearing underwear or that's not all we'll be seeing

5/22/2012 9:51:23 AM

werewolf

Well, why are you still here, then? Missed the boat, have you?

5/22/2012 10:28:54 AM

Berny

Much like your ridiculous belief in the Rapture, this ridiculous notion of yours has no basis in fact.
When the LHC gets activated, which it has been several times already, you morons are still here when it goes off.

5/22/2012 10:51:12 AM

LHC4EVA

Of course, now we are starting to see Fundies say that the LHC will cause problems after they complete the 7TeV upgrade. This guy needs to keep up with the crazy.

5/22/2012 1:05:08 PM

tranz2deep

@Doubting Thomas

Some years ago Rabbi A. James Rudin wrote in his weekly column for the Religious News Service how he had, for years, received letters signed Jesus or God which predict the end of the world or the Rapture.

He wrote that he used to throw the the doom-mail out, but later had a change of mind and proceeded to amass, "...an extensive collection of doomsday predictions and personal messages from self-appointed divinities." Rudin added that he wondered how the letter writers "...handle the deep frustration that must surely come when the world, with all its flaws and faults, continues to exist."

Well, these Raptards are just the same crap in my own view.

5/22/2012 1:31:56 PM

aaa

Seeing people shit out crazy theories about LHC is remarkably amusing in itself.

5/22/2012 2:03:06 PM

louislois

I see they're letting asylum patients have internet access now...

5/22/2012 3:38:16 PM
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