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Quote# 87468

I've heard one to the effect that the earth is going to suddenly emit some massive electrical type of energy that will immediately disintigrate anyone who's molecules are particularly sensitive to the electrical field. For some reason, this will include only Christians and children.

I've also heard that the earth itself is going to become so disgusted with Christians, that it will generate, on it's own, an anti-gravity field that will cause all Christians to be sent into outerspace, to our doom.

My own personal opinion is that scientists will turn on the Hadron Collider at the same moment as the rapture, allowing 'scientists', politicians and Jesse and Al to blame the Hadron Collider for the sudden disappearance of millions of people. No one knows what will happen when it's turned on and it's just a thought that's gone through my mind for a while.

Lord willing, we'll hang around in the air for a few minutes so people can look up and see that we're with our Lord, without fear and rejoicing in His presence. That way some will accept the obvious, that it's the real rapture prophecied of by Paul in the first century Anno Domini. The majority would no doubt refuse to believe the evidence of their eyes.


Verisimilitude, Rapture Ready 84 Comments [5/21/2012 8:23:01 AM]
Fundie Index: 136
Submitted By: Amber
WTF?! || meh
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myheadhurts

I have a Spanish/English dictionary, I have a French/English dictionary... how do I get an RR/English dictionary?

5/22/2012 8:31:09 PM

Mad_Jester

Man, you KNOW you're wrong when His4Life calls bullshit on you.

5/23/2012 6:00:07 AM

Caleb

What. Seriously, what? And what do Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton have to do with this? Why make an effort to single them out? Why is-- OW, my brain!

5/23/2012 7:45:58 AM

whatever

"I've also heard that the earth itself is going to become so disgusted with Christians, that it will generate, on it's own, an anti-gravity field that will cause all Christians to be sent into outerspace, to our doom."

I can't say I blame it.

5/23/2012 7:46:19 AM

Pule Thamex

"...we'll hang around in the air for a few minutes so people can look up and see that we're with our Lord..."

My binoculars are forever by my side. However, I do realize that is probably no more than a symbolic gesture on my part, as I am well aware that the rapture will be ..er ..soon. And of course, it's not likely that I'll live for that many billions of years.

But still, my binoculars are forever by my side. You never know. Keep the faith.

5/23/2012 11:34:16 AM

NonProphet

Achievement Unlocked: Quantum Crazy.

5/23/2012 11:54:14 PM

SpukiKitty

Meanwhile, in Canada, some weirdos with "666" tattoos are running into walls.

5/24/2012 9:11:07 AM

Selkie

The laws of physics don't work that way. Don't worry about it.

5/26/2012 7:51:27 AM

Kuribo

The earth isn't sentient and thus cannot feel disgust for you or hurl you into space



Sigh if only though

9/11/2014 10:44:15 AM
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