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Quote# 87586

[This book was written for Jewish parents who want to stop their children from marrying outside the faith.]

Despite the unpleasantness of the situation, strongly emphasize your unwavering love for your child and your concern for his or her ultimate happiness. Don't expect the child to know it. State it explicitly. Your tone of voice must be as loving and sincere as your words.

It is important to make the distinction that you do not reject your child. You reject only your child's actions. Make clear the consequences the child will precipitate by going through with his or her plans to intermarry.

Parents have been successful in preventing an intermarriage by establishing in advance and adhering to the following consequences:
1. They will neither support nor attend the wedding or reception.
2. They will urge their friends and relatives not to attend.
3. The couple, alone or together, will not be invited or welcomed in their home, nor will the parents visit the couple.
4. The only path to a reconciliation is the dissolution of the relationship with the non-Jewish partner.

Rabbi Kalman Packouz, How To Prevent an Intermarriage 88 Comments [5/30/2012 3:35:45 AM]
Fundie Index: 72
Submitted By: Wykked Wytch
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OhJohnNo

"We love you, but we hate you."

5/30/2012 3:40:12 AM

whatever

"It is important to make the distinction that you do not reject your child. You reject only your child's actions."

If you value religious purity over the child's happiness, you have rejected the child, and that is how they will feel, regardless of how much "love" you put into the tone of your voice.

5/30/2012 3:42:28 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

"Love." I do not think it means what you think it means.

5/30/2012 3:44:12 AM



Emotional blackmail is fun!

5/30/2012 3:51:24 AM

Paler_Face

"We love you, but we are too goddamn bigoted towards any non-jew to let you into our lives, you filthy non-jew lover."


Yeah, totally not racist or supremacist. </sarcasm>

5/30/2012 3:58:52 AM

Leighton Buzzard

Gey in drerd, frummer.

5/30/2012 4:24:41 AM

The_L

"That's right, son, I love you so much that I refuse to have any form of normal parental interaction with you until you divorce that person I don't like."

Do the words "unwavering love" and "reject" mean something completely different to this rabbi?

5/30/2012 4:46:23 AM



Just follow these four simple psychopathic steps...

I'd hate to see what this guy recommends for the baby shower.

5/30/2012 4:51:42 AM

Reynardine

I don't think this course of conduct did anything for Tevye the Milkman, and I don't think it'll do anything more for you.

5/30/2012 4:51:47 AM

Mister Spak

Because doing 1 through 4 will keep the child in the family.

5/30/2012 4:54:04 AM

ScrappyB

So in other words, basically shit all over their happiness and disown your own offspring if they go through with it anyway. I'm sure that will go over well. Must make for stunning family relations.

And furthermore, if they're old enough to get married, they're not a child. They're an adult.

5/30/2012 5:17:49 AM

Table Rock

It is important to make the distinction that you do not reject your child.

How is rejecting all contact with them not rejecting your child?

And in my experience, if a child is forced to choose between their parents or the person they love, the parents lose.

5/30/2012 5:22:42 AM

gargoyle1

5. Say, "That's all right - kill the person who carried you for nine months and fed and clothed you your whole life. I don't mind."

5/30/2012 5:37:26 AM

Sentry Gun

"Your tone of voice must be as loving and sincere as your words. "

Mom, why does your voice sound so autotuned ?

5/30/2012 5:40:39 AM

Apatheist

This is just massive assholery.

5/30/2012 5:47:32 AM

twattybanjo

A friend of mine married a jewish man who was then cut off by his family.
Many years later his Uncle rang and asked him to come over straight away, there was an emergency.
It turned out the emergency was a powercut had wiped out the video recorder's memory, which had been preset to record "Dallas" on shabbat. No gentiles were allowed in the house after sundown and they figured he was still about jewish enough still to do it.
It was made clear that afterwards he would be cut off again.
He declined.

5/30/2012 5:51:40 AM

Dr.Shrinker

Why four steps? I see only two at work here.

1) Stay home
2) Pout until you get your way

5/30/2012 6:03:11 AM

John_in_Oz

But- your kids regard that as a reward.

5/30/2012 6:07:49 AM

Adrian

Look, a raging asshole! Quick, get some Preparation H!

May all your spawns gay-marry goyim, Rabbid Kalman...

5/30/2012 6:12:22 AM

Doubting Thomas

1. They will neither support nor attend the wedding or reception.
2. They will urge their friends and relatives not to attend.
3. The couple, alone or together, will not be invited or welcomed in their home, nor will the parents visit the couple.
4. The only path to a reconciliation is the dissolution of the relationship with the non-Jewish partner.


OK, explain again how they're not rejecting their children?

5/30/2012 6:19:56 AM

dionysus

That's two less bigoted in-laws for the new couple to have to deal with. Oh, and good luck getting the son/daughter you rejected to take care of you when you get older.

5/30/2012 6:23:51 AM

xmx

Ouch. Harsh.

5/30/2012 6:26:54 AM

Xotan

Rabbi,

With respect to you, and with a general respect for Judaism, I cannot find any sense or love in what you propose. You cannot love and reject a person at the same time. It is an absolute dichotomy. In effect, what Judaism (it is not just the Rabbi!) proposes is a form of racism. Of all people, the Jews should be the ones most likely to abhor and avoid this terrible lack of love of the neighbour. It was, after all, a Jew who preached this love. Would the blessed Hillel approve? Or are Hitler and historic Christianity the preferred model?

Jews throughout the centuries have suffered rejection, and rejection is ultimately hatred. Who, is any Jew to reject a goy. Who is any goy to reject any Jew, since both worship the same God. Did not this God ask: Where is thy brother Abel?

If this rejection is of God then god is a monster. If it is of man, then it is a blasphemy against God and His creation. It is evil. Love and rejection are polar opposites.

L'hitraot!

@ Adrian

"May all your spawns gay-marry goyim,"

I recognise the irony in what you say. But as a gay man, and a goy, the irony notwithstanding, this sentence leaves me uncomfortable. The fact that after 40 years (a nice biblical number!) my partner and I have recently been able to marry, does not in any way lessen my discomfort with the underlying possibilities in what you say. Jews and gays have a lot in common as historical outsiders - with all that that means. The Rabbi ought to realise that already. Although I doubt his devotion to Torah would allow him to acknowledge it.

5/30/2012 6:40:28 AM

Papabear

Nevermind who you love, you must marry someone with the same delusions as your parents. If you don't, we'll treat you like dirt.

Now that's loving, thoughtful, kind and generous parenting.

5/30/2012 6:46:38 AM



Ah, go mutilate a baby's penis, you closet pedophile.

5/30/2012 6:59:43 AM
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