Quote# 87843

Why hasn't Dan Brown got in serious trouble with the Illuminati?
Okay, so I believe in the Illuminati, if you don't that's fine. I've began reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown and I was wondering how he hasn't been killed. I mean someone posted about the Illuminati on Cracked.com and was mysteriously killed by a lorry with broken brakes.

,RecklessLove?, Y! answers 24 Comments [6/19/2012 4:31:33 AM]
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And then, you consider all the people who didn't post Illuminati jokes on Cracked.com who died in truck accidents, and it's clear that not posting Illuminati jokes on Cracked is even more dangerous than posting them.

6/19/2012 4:57:31 AM


Stupid RecklessLove. Obviously they haven't killed Dan Brown because then you would *know* for sure that what he wrote was true.

But don't worry, when Brown dies comfortably in his bed surrounded by loved ones at the age of 90, we'll all know it was the Illuminati.

6/19/2012 6:02:22 AM

Doubting Thomas

Maybe he hasn't been killed because the Illuminati don't exist? Oh no, that couldn't possibly be the case. He must have secretly been disposed of and replaced with a double.

6/19/2012 6:37:07 AM


Obviously Dan Brown is a illuminati double agent trying to subliminally afvertise illuminati to the public.

6/19/2012 6:48:30 AM

Brendan Rizzo

And you know this how?

But seriously, saying you don't believe in the Illuminati and then in the next sentence expressing a fear of them just smacks of concern troll.

6/19/2012 7:10:34 AM


Because the Illuminati DOESN'T FREAKING EXIST, you twit!

...That's what I want to say to these people.

6/19/2012 7:23:12 AM


read it again rizz', s/he does explicitely say "I believe in the Illuminati, if you don't that's fine". honestly, i'm wondering how dan brown hasn't been shot by a concerned librarian, but that's besides the point. not really crazy, honestly

6/19/2012 8:19:00 AM


Dude, the Illuminati only existed for about a dozen years roughly two hundred and fifty years ago.

6/19/2012 8:42:12 AM

He's a ninja. Obviously.

6/19/2012 10:33:25 AM

Brendan Rizzo

@ \m/>_<\m/:

Whoops, I thought there was a "don't" in there somewhere. I recant my previous comment.

6/19/2012 11:30:56 AM

Let's agree that you're wrong

You know, you'd think someone familiar with Cracked.com would know that basically all of its writers make Illuminati jokes, and acknowledge thatwhile the Illuminati is based on a real organisation, it in no way resembles the crazy conspiracy bullshit that conspiracists believe. As far as I'm aware, Dan O'Brien and Michael Swaim have not yet been run down by lorries.

6/19/2012 12:22:41 PM

Filin De Blanc

"mysteriously killed by a lorry with broken brakes."

Dying in a traffic accident caused by faulty brakes doesn't sound so mysterious to me.

6/19/2012 12:48:57 PM


With all those factual mistakes Dan Brown made in his novels, the information about Illuminati in there will probably be full of errors anyway.

6/19/2012 1:50:21 PM


@ Fillin De Blanc

But the lorry crashed through the wall of his bedroom and crushed him in his sleep. He lived in a sixth story apartment.

6/19/2012 2:02:53 PM


You know that Angels and Demons is fiction, right?

EDIT: Raised By Horses, I would like to present to you an Internet.

6/19/2012 5:23:33 PM

Raised by Horses

The Illuminati: A sinister organisation so secret that anyone with a web browser can dig up their plans in a matter of minutes.

6/19/2012 5:52:16 PM

Percy Q. Shunn

I heard the Illuminati invented Dan Brown.

6/19/2012 8:46:33 PM

Weren't the Illuminati a harmless group of 18th century Bavarian intellectuals?

6/20/2012 12:42:50 AM


Isn't it obvious? The only reason Dan Brown hasn't been silenced by the Illuminati is because he's a pawn in their eternal struggle against the Saucer People (in conjunction with the Reverse Vampires) to eliminate the meal of dinner.

We're through the looking glass here, people.

6/20/2012 5:31:09 AM


Reckless is gonna be pissed when they realize that there's nothing mysterious about a lorry with broken brakes being capable of killing someone all on its own.

6/20/2012 3:20:00 PM

How do you know that Dan Brown is still alive? Seen him around lately?

He could be with Rushdie enjoying themselves on some beach in the Caribbean under assumed names.

6/21/2012 9:37:01 AM


A. Dan Brown writes fiction


B. The Illuminati do not exist.

Next question.

6/22/2012 4:33:55 PM


"Why hasn't Dan Brown got in serious trouble with the Illuminati?"

Because the Illuminati don't exist and Dan Brown is a writer of fiction full of lies.

6/28/2012 7:18:05 PM


If the “information“ about the Illuminati in Brown’s books is as reliable as the rest, we can be sure of one thing: The Illuminati are nothing like they are portrayed in his books.

That, or Dan Brown is an Illuminati dis-info agent. Be afraid. Be very afraid…

5/11/2016 2:41:14 AM

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