Men marry virtuous women, and virtue is whatever men admire. Men admire virginity and virtual virginity the most, because it challenges their natural dominance the most. If they can ‘own’ her, they have outcompeted a virgin, beaten their male competitors, and earned bragging rights. Their self-admiration has new boundaries.
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Their self-admiration has new boundaries.
So my self-esteem and admiration is based upon if I can land a woman who's virgin?!
Uh huh. Keep telling that to yourself 'cause you're the only one dumb enough to believe it.
"Own" her? Yes, that's something to aspire to.
"Outcompeted?" her? That's healthy.
And, please, let my sexuality be the source of my mate's bragging rights. Pretty please?
I can only really speak for myself, but I personally don't want a virgin. I prefer a partner with experience and enthusiasm, and don't enjoy the prospect of explaining every little step of the process.
A bit of roleplay is fun, but that's a very different matter.
Googling virtual virginity, I found this:
"Strategy: Virtual Virginity
Tactics: She discloses little and leaves deep and complex feelings hidden behind simple compliments. Let him conclude that she holds promises that only time can convert to reality. Full disclosure empties her treasures."
So... withholding the truth to make people think you're better than you are? This seems to have little to do with virginity.
My wife was a virgin when we met, but to be perfectly honest I wish she had been a bit more experienced. Even to this day she gets embarrassed talking about sex with me.
The reason virginity was so prized in biblical times was because they had no way to cure STD's. So a man wanted a virgin for his wife so he would know that she would be clean and hopefully have a lifetime of STD-free monogamy. So premarital sex was seen as being punished by God if a disease was contracted, and virginity was held as a virtue. These days, though, with modern medicine being able to cure or prevent STD's, virginity isn't as highly prized. That, and the pervasive sexual freedom in our society which is a response to the strict Puritan ideals which still hold in some parts of the country.
Personaly, I look for a woman who can carry a conversation, enjoys camping, listens to jazz, and is not afraid of having a little bit of body fat.
She should love cuddling, cross country skiing, and fucking in the shower.
She should also be able to fix her own car.
Virginity doesnt even make the list
If you look at the site, this was not written by "Her Highness Simplicity Evermore", but by a man. Anyway, I just read the whole thing and it can be summed up thus: " Girls, don't fuck anyone at college and boys will respect you more and you will be better marriage material."
It contains the following assumptions: 1, Women are merchandise whose sole object is to attract men and secure a good marriage. 2, All males engage in competition between themselves to sleep with as many women as possible.
A very old-fashioned, tawdry bit of advice from someone's useless, overly controlling, creepy dad.
Imagine how high their self admiration gets if they can 'own' several virgins in a row.
Hell, outcompeting a virgin is nothing. Getting "back door" privileges, that's like winning the Olympic gold metal in competitive penis.
</sarcasm>
If this were a deconstruction of the notion of "virtue of women" I'd applaud.
But this person is seriously advocating this "virtue" of theirs on the basis that it is what men admire. Geez. Makes me wonder if the idea of a patriarchy holds some weight...
Whatever I admire right? Well, I'd like an educated girl who isn't afraid to call idiots or tyrants out on their behavior no matter their position. Someone who follows their conscience. I guess that really excludes anything you'd call virtuous right? Most men don't really want a doormat nowadays, if that was the case we'd get one of those robots from Japan. As for virginity, its the least of my concerns.
I think men my age (36) would suspect there was something slightly off about me if I were still a virgin.
I broke in a virgin (male) once. Not my idea of a great time. At least it wasn't a long time. ;)
You don't represent me, or any other man I know. My self-esteem is not tied to how many dicks my partner took, and if that really matters to you, then you are a sad little man.
How can anyone claim to know what "men" want in their partners? That's claiming to have surveyed a representative sample of a group of three billion or so people (excluding male kids who are too young to have any preferences), and gotten accurate answers, and to found a single most important desire. The sheer ego of that statement is quite impressive.
I couldn't care less if someone I'm with is a virgin. As long as they're intelligent, fun, geeky, and willing to accept me as I am, I'm happy.
Furthermore, I think the idea of "competing" with other men via sex is repulsive. I would think that only super-macho "bro" types (eager to prove their machismo & heterosexuality) do that sort of thing.
"Men marry virtuous women, and virtue is whatever men admire."
I admire tits. Therefore, tits are virtuous. Thanks for clearing that up for me!
Men marry women who they admire? No shit, Sherlock.
Some of the men who marry virgins might not feel up to being compared with other guys...
Would you also like to marry a woman who has never cooked a meal in her life, nor washed and ironed a shirt?
If you want a novice in bed, why not a novice in cooking and cleaning too? Idiot!
@Doubting Thomas--that is the exact reason why I talk to my daughter about abstinence--not because sexuality is bad and sex outside of marriage is a "sin," but because it comes at a cost if you are ill-prepared and uneducated. BTW, Puritian teens often shared a family bed including visiting boys who for various reasons stayed the night also sharing the family bed getting it on with the teen daughter. I knew a girl in high school that whould do her BF right in front of her parents while watching TV in the dark. She would innocently sit on his lap watching a sitcom and wiggle and giggle during the canned laughter. Her parents were either in denial or complete idiots.
"Virtual" is not the adjectival form of "virtue".
What kind of point are you trying to make? That's a common misogynist point of view. Are you asserting it as fact or saying that all men think that way? Either way, you're wrong.
Huh?
I'm a man, and I can tell you - virginity doesn't matter to me. In fact, if someone's NOT a virgin, that means she's more likely to actually know what she's doing, which makes non-virginity... a bit better, even.
*OP's head asplode*
What's this about "competitors", "bragging rights" and all that shit? I go into (sexual) relationships for personal reasons, dammit. I really don't care about everyone and their dog knowing about my 'exploits', and I don't give a damn what they do in their own (sex) life.
This is not a competition, other than for some pathetically immature people, I guess.
And yeah, what's "virtual virginity"?
The "virtue is whatever men admire" part really doesn't help explain that!
EDIT: And for fuck's sake (no pun intended), I most certainly don't want someone as my property! What normal person would want to be with someone who can't act or think for themselves, independently from you?! Aside from the obvious immorality, that would be rather taxing on the nerves (as we're talking about an adult person here, not children).
In short:
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'Virginity'? It's overrated. Experience is valued these days. Besides...:
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'Don't knock sex with older people: they're far more experienced, and they'll clean your room.'
-Frankie Boyle
X3
One word: MILFs. :9
@#1414761
'Men marry virtuous women, and virtue is whatever men admire.'
"I admire tits. Therefore, tits are virtuous."
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I rest my case. And Hild here can rest hers on my head. X3 :9
Um... this isn't what I'd call inherently fundie. It's a bit absolutist (I'd say it doesn't apply to most men, but there's a large minority who it does apply to), but it really seems like there's more context needed to call it fundie or not.
@Quantum Mechanic
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Had to be done.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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