Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In

Quote# 87974

Ohio's Jim Flechtner is demanding that the Aesculus glabra, better known as the Ohio Buckeye be revoked of state tree status because it bears male, female and bisexual flowers on the same tree.

“The buckeye is our state tree and most of us gladly wear the nickname, "buckeyes." But it is shameful and unacceptable that a bisexual tree should represent us! We are flaunting the Holy Bible!

I urge everyone to contact their state representative and demand legislation removing the buckeye as our state tree and condemning the use of the term "buckeye" as a nickname for residents of Ohio.”

Jim Fletchner, Huffington Post 70 Comments [6/24/2012 3:12:04 AM]
Fundie Index: 78
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2 3
Le Proon

You are bring threatened by flowers...

GROW UP.

6/24/2012 3:19:30 AM

OhJohnNo

This can't be real.

It can't be.

Please...

6/24/2012 3:21:16 AM

Woody

Your own sexuality is threatened by a tree? Seriously, are you twelve?

A bisexual is a person who is attracted to both genders and sometimes has sex with one or both. Last time I checked, threes don't usually go to bed with each other. A tree is, well.. a tree. In this case one that bears flowers of each sex (like most trees). It is actually fairly uncommon for trees to bear only flowers of one sex.

You are an idiot.

6/24/2012 3:27:39 AM

noko

Them gays have even infected the trees, I tell ya what!

6/24/2012 3:40:30 AM

Philbert McAdamia

Burn the rain forests! Them queer trees are a-comin' ta GIT US!

6/24/2012 4:10:20 AM

Reynardine

This guy can't stand a queer little horse chestnut, and yet he doubtless has eaten table fruits* and dessert fruits both, which come from bisexual flowers.

*Such as eggplants, tomatoes, peppers, pumpkins, squash, cucumbers, okra...

Oh, and let's not forget. No matter what kind of grain it's made out of, his bread is queer.

6/24/2012 4:14:16 AM

shykid

When your homophobic delusions get so bad that even plants are pushing a sinister queer agenda in your paranoid little mind, it's time to seek professional help.

ETA: Good to know this is a Poe. Also sorta sad to know that real homophobic fuckwits are so ridiculous that this seems like something they'd actually say in earnest, but such is the joy of Poe's law.

6/24/2012 4:15:45 AM

Darwin

Confirmed as a poe: http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2012/06/18/155297882/ban-the-buckeye-for-being-bisexual-we-now-have-hoax-no-3?ps=cprs

6/24/2012 4:22:39 AM

maxedout

Whether it's a Poe or not, I always said John Otway & Wild Willy Barrett were right.

"Beware of the flowers 'cause I'm sure they're gonna get you... Yeah"

6/24/2012 4:38:21 AM

Gawd

I think someone is poking a little fun at the Christians . . .

6/24/2012 4:45:51 AM

OhJohnNo

Thank you very much, Darwin. My sanity is safe.

6/24/2012 4:48:15 AM

whatever

Aw it's a poe. That's not fair! Sniff...

6/24/2012 5:02:57 AM

Arnold Facepalmer

His God made the tree that way, right? Oh, wait, it "chose" to be that way and it's a fad.

What a tool

6/24/2012 5:22:03 AM

jsonitsac

Really HufPo? Just because some idiot has some axe to grind doesn't mean you have to pay him any attention.

6/24/2012 5:25:52 AM

Leighton Buzzard

I knew it was a Poe when I saw 'flaunting'. I wonder, though, how many Ohioians signed up for the 'campaign'?

6/24/2012 5:27:10 AM

D Laurier

wtf?

6/24/2012 5:38:24 AM

Raised by Horses

If you have an issue with the tree, take it up with said tree's Intelligent Designer.

6/24/2012 5:59:38 AM

Doubting Thomas

So... he was OK with it until he found out that buckeyes have bisexual flowers?

Aren't most flowers bisexual anyway? They have the male part, the stamen which holds the pollen, and the pistil which receives the pollen.

OK, so this is a poe, but I wouldn't put it past fundies to get their panties in a wad about this, since anti-gay sentiment is at a fever pitch with them these days.

6/24/2012 6:39:20 AM

Brendan Rizzo

PLEASE be a Poe. No one in a civilized country could possibly be so ignorant. I don't want to see any more proof of the absolute failure of America's schools.

Does anyone wanna bet that the Ohio state assembly will do what he asks?

6/24/2012 6:46:00 AM

rageaholic

So glad it's a poe!!!

6/24/2012 6:46:19 AM

Horsefeathers

Jim, lighten up. It's a tree, you idiot.

6/24/2012 7:05:01 AM

finnugold

This can't be real. Most plants have organs for both producing pollen and receiving it. Also, "male, female, and bisexual"? As if bisexuality is a third sex?

6/24/2012 7:07:22 AM

Thinking Allowed

Just admit it Jim, you ain't homosexual and you think "Gays are icky."

6/24/2012 7:30:13 AM

Papabear

[b]Well, how 'bout if we keep the name "Buckeyes" for Ohioans, but we change what we call you to "asshat prick?"

6/24/2012 8:03:28 AM

Berny

Nobody is that stupid, are they?
Did anyone tell this retard that plenty of plants are bisexual?

6/24/2012 8:06:58 AM
1 2 3