The only way you could know who Anderson Cooper is and not know that he is a flaming homosexual is if you are one of the dwindling few who rely on CNN for information. Now it’s official, Cooper the Poop-Chuter having made his grand announcement through fellow fudge-punchee Andrew Sullivan:

“The fact is, I’m gay, always have been, always will be, and I couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud.”

If you indulge in a relatively wholesome perversion, like licking high-heel shoes or persuading your wife to dress up in red latex, you’re unlikely to feel proud of it. But if your personal identity revolves around your lust for other men’s stinking anuses, a particularly disgusting form of depravity that spreads horrific diseases, the chest swells with self-satisfaction.

What a sick world we live in.

When public figures boldly step out of the closet into the warm glow of establishment adoration, or when journalists make themselves the story, it can only mean one thing: desperation. CNN’s ratings recently hit their lowest mark since 1991.

In the 8 pm Eastern time slot, Bill O’Reilly beats Cooper 2,255,000 to 433,000, or by more than 5 to 1. Fortunately there’s no need for O’Reilly to come out of any closets.