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Quote# 89230

I am reminded of a story told to me last year about an 11-year-old girl, Kyla, by her mother, Cyndee:

"My daughter, Kyla, who was 11 last year, at the time she was carried into the Spirit by the Lord. It was 3 in the morning and she was up and weeping and told me she had been with Jesus and he had told her some things. A lot was personal for the family but there was something Jesus told her that was amazing. She, to this day, still says Jesus told her, 'I am coming some September.' Now I received this! What it means I don't know for sure, but I will say this, SOMETHING very spectacular is fixing to happen and I am excited and Jesus is in IT!! God also told her that her family, meaning her siblings, and me, her Mother and her Dad, would not die until they all see the coming of the Lord."

If the reference is to the rapture, let us hope it is this September!

Jim Bramlett, fivedoves 59 Comments [8/28/2012 6:09:54 AM]
Fundie Index: 41
Submitted By: Tony
WTF?! || meh
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Street Sharks

So do you believe that EVERY dream your eleven year old daughter has is some literal prophecy?

8/28/2012 6:15:33 AM

Nicole

Because, y'know, it's just not possible for eleven-year-olds to have perfectly ordinary dreams about stuff like that. Just not possible at all.

8/28/2012 6:16:33 AM

Dan

What if he meant Sept. of the year 5000? Or you know your kid had a dream.

8/28/2012 6:17:03 AM

Rimmer1959

Which september? 2012 or 2013 or what? What a lot of muppets

8/28/2012 6:17:40 AM

Often Partisan

This isn't RR?

8/28/2012 6:29:19 AM

Justanotheratheist

Yeah sure, this September. Defintely positively for sure, just like every other time it hasn't happened.

Fucking idiots.

8/28/2012 6:31:18 AM

dionysus

That's quite a dream your daughter had. I once dreamt that I could fly by flapping my arms and cycling my legs fast enough.

She, to this day, still says Jesus told her, 'I am coming some September.'

Well I'm glad he was so specific. I mean, how many Septembers could there possibly be in the 4 billion years Earth has left?

8/28/2012 6:37:58 AM

SpukiKitty

What everyone else said.

8/28/2012 6:46:57 AM

Percy Q. Shunn

I am going to LOL every October 1st from this point on.

8/28/2012 6:48:26 AM

OhJohnNo

I can't make heads nor tails of this.

8/28/2012 6:54:01 AM

Ebon

You lot have been predicting the Rapture ever since it was completely invented about a century ago.

8/28/2012 7:13:04 AM

John_in_Oz

In the dream, Jesus also said "Run, a giant lime gelato is chasing you around the Carousel"

8/28/2012 7:22:20 AM

Mister Spak

" What it means I don't know for sure, "

It means your daughter is mentally ill, possibly because she inherited it from her father.

8/28/2012 7:26:06 AM

Arctic Knight

Jesus also told the people standing face to face with him that many would not die until he came back. That was 2,000 years ago and none of those people are alive today, and Jesus hasn't returned. Jesus has a history of breaking promises.

8/28/2012 7:35:27 AM

Adrian

Because being raised in a family of fundies absolutely can't cause a little girl to dream about Jeebus and the Rupture... [/sarcasm]

8/28/2012 7:44:42 AM

Leighton Buzzard

Yeah. I had the same thing with my daughter (only it was Cybermen coming for her). Don't give her any more cheese late at night.

8/28/2012 7:50:29 AM

WWBFD

Kyla has my sympathy.

No-one should have to make up shit like this just to get some parental attention.

Suggestion to Cyndee: Daughter first. Jesus later. He needs you less.

8/28/2012 7:51:27 AM

pete

Or? Maybe the poor kid is so full of religious BS, courtesy of her idiotic parents, that Jesus has invaded her subconscious?

8/28/2012 7:52:31 AM

Papabear

"God also told her that her family, meaning her siblings, and me, her Mother and her Dad,..."

Huh? What is your relationship to this girl? You list yourself (Jim) as not a sibling nor her mother or father.

8/28/2012 8:12:58 AM

rubber chicken

Because the omnipotent diety is going to confide in, and only in, a solitary eleven year old girl in some mid-western trailer park.

8/28/2012 8:20:18 AM

Philbet McAdamia

@Arctic Knight
Jesus also told the people standing face to face with him that many would not die until he came back.
@pete
Or? Maybe ... Jesus has invaded her subconscious?

Jesus; the lying bastard is like Freddy Krueger. He'll get you in your sleep.

8/28/2012 8:20:31 AM

Filin De Blanc

Trust these people to treat eleven year-olds as the epitome of wisdom.

8/28/2012 8:22:46 AM

The Crimson Ghost

"I am coming some September". That's really pinning it down! Will these geniuses EVER learn?

Hopefully ol' Jeezus will make some silly faces or noises to let us all know when he's coming so we can all make sure we're indoors.

8/28/2012 9:15:02 AM

Mystik Spiral

I'm betting Kyla and the other kids refer to you as "creepy uncle Jim" when you're not around.

8/28/2012 9:17:26 AM

Thinking Allowed

So on October first....

8/28/2012 9:19:25 AM
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