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Quote# 89230

I am reminded of a story told to me last year about an 11-year-old girl, Kyla, by her mother, Cyndee:

"My daughter, Kyla, who was 11 last year, at the time she was carried into the Spirit by the Lord. It was 3 in the morning and she was up and weeping and told me she had been with Jesus and he had told her some things. A lot was personal for the family but there was something Jesus told her that was amazing. She, to this day, still says Jesus told her, 'I am coming some September.' Now I received this! What it means I don't know for sure, but I will say this, SOMETHING very spectacular is fixing to happen and I am excited and Jesus is in IT!! God also told her that her family, meaning her siblings, and me, her Mother and her Dad, would not die until they all see the coming of the Lord."

If the reference is to the rapture, let us hope it is this September!

Jim Bramlett, fivedoves 59 Comments [8/28/2012 6:09:54 AM]
Fundie Index: 40
Submitted By: Tony
WTF?! || meh
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#1439823
Street Sharks

So do you believe that EVERY dream your eleven year old daughter has is some literal prophecy?

8/28/2012 6:15:33 AM

#1439826
Nicole

Because, y'know, it's just not possible for eleven-year-olds to have perfectly ordinary dreams about stuff like that. Just not possible at all.

8/28/2012 6:16:33 AM

#1439827
Dan

What if he meant Sept. of the year 5000? Or you know your kid had a dream.

8/28/2012 6:17:03 AM

#1439828
Rimmer1959

Which september? 2012 or 2013 or what? What a lot of muppets

8/28/2012 6:17:40 AM

#1439844
Often Partisan

This isn't RR?

8/28/2012 6:29:19 AM

#1439846
Justanotheratheist

Yeah sure, this September. Defintely positively for sure, just like every other time it hasn't happened.

Fucking idiots.

8/28/2012 6:31:18 AM

#1439856
dionysus

That's quite a dream your daughter had. I once dreamt that I could fly by flapping my arms and cycling my legs fast enough.

She, to this day, still says Jesus told her, 'I am coming some September.'

Well I'm glad he was so specific. I mean, how many Septembers could there possibly be in the 4 billion years Earth has left?

8/28/2012 6:37:58 AM

#1439862
SpukiKitty

What everyone else said.

8/28/2012 6:46:57 AM

#1439863
Percy Q. Shunn

I am going to LOL every October 1st from this point on.

8/28/2012 6:48:26 AM

#1439870
OhJohnNo

I can't make heads nor tails of this.

8/28/2012 6:54:01 AM

#1439886
Ebon

You lot have been predicting the Rapture ever since it was completely invented about a century ago.

8/28/2012 7:13:04 AM

#1439895
John_in_Oz

In the dream, Jesus also said "Run, a giant lime gelato is chasing you around the Carousel"

8/28/2012 7:22:20 AM

#1439899
Mister Spak

" What it means I don't know for sure, "

It means your daughter is mentally ill, possibly because she inherited it from her father.

8/28/2012 7:26:06 AM

#1439914
Arctic Knight

Jesus also told the people standing face to face with him that many would not die until he came back. That was 2,000 years ago and none of those people are alive today, and Jesus hasn't returned. Jesus has a history of breaking promises.

8/28/2012 7:35:27 AM

#1439924
Adrian

Because being raised in a family of fundies absolutely can't cause a little girl to dream about Jeebus and the Rupture... [/sarcasm]

8/28/2012 7:44:42 AM

#1439928
Leighton Buzzard

Yeah. I had the same thing with my daughter (only it was Cybermen coming for her). Don't give her any more cheese late at night.

8/28/2012 7:50:29 AM

#1439929
WWBFD

Kyla has my sympathy.

No-one should have to make up shit like this just to get some parental attention.

Suggestion to Cyndee: Daughter first. Jesus later. He needs you less.

8/28/2012 7:51:27 AM

#1439930
pete

Or? Maybe the poor kid is so full of religious BS, courtesy of her idiotic parents, that Jesus has invaded her subconscious?

8/28/2012 7:52:31 AM

#1439945
Papabear

"God also told her that her family, meaning her siblings, and me, her Mother and her Dad,..."

Huh? What is your relationship to this girl? You list yourself (Jim) as not a sibling nor her mother or father.

8/28/2012 8:12:58 AM

#1439948
rubber chicken

Because the omnipotent diety is going to confide in, and only in, a solitary eleven year old girl in some mid-western trailer park.

8/28/2012 8:20:18 AM

#1439949
Philbet McAdamia

@Arctic Knight
Jesus also told the people standing face to face with him that many would not die until he came back.
@pete
Or? Maybe ... Jesus has invaded her subconscious?

Jesus; the lying bastard is like Freddy Krueger. He'll get you in your sleep.

8/28/2012 8:20:31 AM

#1439953
Filin De Blanc

Trust these people to treat eleven year-olds as the epitome of wisdom.

8/28/2012 8:22:46 AM

#1439984
The Crimson Ghost

"I am coming some September". That's really pinning it down! Will these geniuses EVER learn?

Hopefully ol' Jeezus will make some silly faces or noises to let us all know when he's coming so we can all make sure we're indoors.

8/28/2012 9:15:02 AM

#1439986
Mystik Spiral

I'm betting Kyla and the other kids refer to you as "creepy uncle Jim" when you're not around.

8/28/2012 9:17:26 AM

#1439988
Thinking Allowed

So on October first....

8/28/2012 9:19:25 AM
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