Yes, please, stand in the path of the storm and tell it to go away.
9/3/2012 8:45:35 AM
This is what natural selection looks like.
9/3/2012 8:49:29 AM
This seems to be more of a parody of fundamentalist thought than an honest statement.
9/3/2012 8:54:28 AM
As long as you take other storm precautions, you go right ahead and rebuke the fuck out of that storm.
9/3/2012 9:28:56 AM
Rabbit of Caerbannog
And if rebuking it fails, try paying it a compliment.
9/3/2012 9:32:44 AM
Jesus was a Cleric with Air Domain so he gets to Control Weather once per day. This won't work for you because:
a) You're not a Cleric with Air Domain.
b) This doesn't work outside of fiction.
9/3/2012 9:41:17 AM
You do what you want, but leave your children and your animals out of it. They have it bad enough dealing with a nutcase on a daily basis.
9/3/2012 9:45:06 AM
They should take their hapless animals to shelters and then stand on the beaches holding up crosses as they rebuke the storm. Damn if this were only a stronger storm.
9/3/2012 10:00:36 AM
An old Klingon story.
Long ago, a storm was heading for the city of Quin'lat. Everyone took protection within the walls except one man who remained outside. Kahless went to him and asked what he was doing. "I am not afraid," the man said. "I will not hide my face behind stone and mortar. I will stand before the wind and make it respect me." Kahless honored his choice and went back inside. The next day, the storm came, and the man was killed. Kahless replied, "The wind does not respect a fool".
9/3/2012 10:32:51 AM
Or... Maybe they should seek higher ground, perhaps? Just saying.
9/3/2012 10:42:13 AM
Are you the Messiah? No.
Is the Bible a work of fiction? Yes.
Will this work? Buy a shitload of life insurance before you try it out. Your family has probably suffered enough.
9/3/2012 10:59:57 AM
Fuck, I can't tell if this Poe or real.
9/3/2012 11:16:04 AM
OK So Jesus, who, according to Nicea is God, rebuked the wind and water. For CGL, or any other Christian to rebuke the same forces is blasphemy. I mean, humans are not God - no?
they think they are already on the higher ground - morally at least. Others differ and see them for what they are...
9/3/2012 11:34:31 AM
Oh My Dog!
People who are in the path of tropical storm Issac should protect their loved ones, their animals and their property by rebuking the storm
As opposed to evacuating or seeking shelter somewhere, right?
Doesn't Pat Robertson say goofy stuff like this too. You're just like Pat Robertson.
Though you would take that as a compliment, no doubt.
9/3/2012 12:11:24 PM
I rebuked until the water was up to my chest. Then I dislodged a little old lady from a piece of floating driftwood and used it for my own purposes.
9/3/2012 12:12:20 PM
Wow. You think you're Jesus. Bravo.
9/3/2012 12:16:47 PM
Oh My Dog!
Also, in the thread, a certain Halossellar raised a good point.
Maybe God thinks the Republican National Committee is evil.
9/3/2012 12:25:09 PM
Darwin Award in waiting.
9/3/2012 12:40:57 PM
How To Repel Tropical Storms.
Do not fear Isaac or other Holy expressions of disapproval. Instead, keep calm and be practical. Resort to magical incantations.
1. Shove a clove of garlic up your arse, and one up each nostril.
2. Say the following, "Jesus, I command that thy Father's righteous tempest be delayed until He hath achieved greater proficiency with His aim."
3. When, as is inevitable, Jesus can't hear you over the roaring sound of the storm, then cower in terror.
4. As the hurricane blows you into the air like a raptured moron, curse those imbeciles in San Francisco who have angered the Sky Beast.
5. Soil thy undergarments.
9/3/2012 12:43:55 PM
"they think they are already on the higher ground - morally at least. Others differ and see them for what they are..."
And they can stay there if they want. And the storm claims them, they can ask it why didn't it listen. Storms don't have gods, or ears. They just wreck things.
9/3/2012 12:49:06 PM
Naughty, naughty, Isaac! (Spank, spank). Now, go sit in the corner and no ice cream tonight!
9/3/2012 1:19:41 PM
Yes, fundies, stand out and rebuke the storm.
We'll pass out the Darwin Awards later.
9/3/2012 1:24:31 PM
I predict a Darwin award at some point, like the end, of this one's lifetime.
9/3/2012 1:43:13 PM
Da Rat Bastid
"Long ago, a storm was heading for the city of Quin'lat. Everyone took protection within the walls except one man who remained outside. Kahless went to him and asked what he was doing. 'I am not afraid,' the man said. 'I will not hide my face behind stone and mortar. I will stand before the wind and make it respect me.' Kahless honored his choice and went back inside. The next day, the storm came, and the man was killed. Kahless replied, 'The wind does not respect a fool'."
What was his name?
9/3/2012 1:51:22 PM
Well, it worked for Tampa, Florida. The storm did change course.
9/3/2012 2:40:34 PM