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9/8/2012 10:50:22 AM
These people can no longer be effectively parodied. It just can't be done. Any attempt to make what they say any more ridiculous is bound to end in failure, because it can't get any more ridiculous.
9/8/2012 10:53:16 AM
No, there were no feminists in the crowd, period. However, there were a lot of tired and angry women who probably would have been glad to trade places with a Roman wife. Not a perfect life, but at least they'd have learned how to read. There is no biblical equivalent to Fulvia Flacca Bambula.
9/8/2012 10:55:41 AM
Oh My Dog!
I agree, this can't be parodied. You know it's bad when the real thing outdoes Landover Baptist.
9/8/2012 11:05:20 AM
Filin De Blanc
No, they call God female because they're aware of Her Highness Princess Celestia (and Luna, can't forget about her).
9/8/2012 11:05:35 AM
Creedence Leonore Gielgud
"Do you think there were no feminists in the crowd crying out “Crucify Him!”?"
Probably not, but if his followers were anything like you all are today, they were probably the ones yelling the loudest. Nah I'm just kidding. Jesus didn't exist so they were denied that pleasure.
9/8/2012 11:21:16 AM
You're trying to attack women from so many different sides of this argument that even I can't track it, and I'm pretty sure that I'm smart enough to track anything coherent.
You fail. Women don't actually suck that much. Especially your dick.
Oh, there. Tracked it.
9/8/2012 11:32:32 AM
And, remember, by your theology, it took a fallen angel to tempt Eve. It only took a woman to tempt Adam.
You still sure your god's actually a dude?
9/8/2012 11:37:00 AM
Considering this was roughly 2000 years before the concept of feminism had been invented, yeah, I'd say there weren't any feminists shouting crucify him.
9/8/2012 11:50:16 AM
Most people refer to God as "He" because male is culturally and, in many cases, linguistically treated as the [link=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MenAreGenericWomenAreSpecial]default[/link] [link=http://www.patheos.com/blogs/slacktivist/2012/01/27/one-for-normal-people-and-another-one-for-women/]gender[/link]. It's not that women hate the presumed-to-be-male God and are taking it out on men, it's that they are rebelling against the privilege and normativity afforded to maleness and our perception of God's gender is one facet of that.
9/8/2012 12:07:37 PM
They hate God for being God, for being Father, and they displace their hatred onto the nearest male.
Yes, I'm sure this is the primary motivation of all feminists. They all run around all day thinking about God, just like the rest of us.
Yeah, sure. Of course. What else?
I wonder what David Collard will do when he finds out that God is not only a female, but also a lesbian, black, and a liberal. His tiny pointed little head will explode.
9/8/2012 12:08:06 PM
Oh smeg off. You are a shame for my sex.
9/8/2012 12:35:18 PM
Abrahamic religion is nauseatingly patriarchal and imposes that onto society because it assumes that is the "natural order" of things, probably because it was created by a bunch of privileged males who either didn't know any better or had a vested interest in preserving said privilege.
Also, in Middle English, "he" was the definite neuter pronoun, anyway, so even though God was considered male because of the religion being patriarchal, the use of "he" does not necessarily imply maleness in the English of the KJV. What is now the neuter "they" was originally used as an indefinite pronoun regardless of gender (e.g. I recently heard something in a public-service ad like, "After age 50, a man should have their prostate regularly examined for cancer."). Eventually, "they" mostly won over for both the neuter and indefinite pronoun, but by then, habit had already assigned the Christian God a grammatical gender, so even people who don't think of him as (meta?)physically male still refer to him with a grammatically male pronoun. For a counterexample, ships, other vessels, and countries are still occasionally grammatically feminine in English.
This has absolutely nothing to do with an unconscious knowledge or reflexive acknowledgment of the "natural order" of things. Grammatical gender does not make sense when extended to natural gender. For example, a French word for "penis" is feminine. That does not mean the French think ciswomen have penises. This is starting to get close to Navaros' babbling about "God's penis," so I'll stop now. You can pay me for the grammar lesson later.
9/8/2012 1:08:43 PM
“Watch me leave my husband, abort my child, *change this child’s sex*, sleep with this other woman, campaign for single sex marriage, demand that Daddy pay for my contraception, demand that Daddy pay for my lifestyle … and now, call God a girl.
I'm pretty sure that is illegal.
9/8/2012 1:24:23 PM
I wonder what goes on in this guy's mind over the course of an entire day.
9/8/2012 1:27:44 PM
Do you think there were no feminists in the crowd crying out “Crucify Him!”?
- If there were, none of the biblical authors saw fit to mention it. You're not adding to the bible, are you Dave?
9/8/2012 1:30:13 PM
cdcdrrDo you think there were no feminists in the crowd crying out “Crucify Him!”?
9/8/2012 2:07:15 PM
9/8/2012 2:22:24 PM
The Bible being written by men of a misogynist society could be expected to invent a male god.
Probably no feminists in that crowd as feminists in that society would be killed.
P.S. You're an a**hole.
9/8/2012 3:07:18 PM
Nah, it was Pontius Pilate who said 'Cwucify him!'
Then the cwowd wagged on him by shouting 'Welease Wodger' and 'Welease Wodewick!'.
Don't you think tho, Pontiuth, that thith thupid thundie ith thuch a thilly?!
Now go paint that on the walls a hundred times - in proper Latin - or I'll cut your balls off.
[/"Monty Python's Life of Brian"] X3
9/8/2012 3:09:11 PM
I thought the first feminist would be Lilith, Adam's first wife. Who, by the by, was vastly superior to Eve, in my opinion.
9/8/2012 3:25:01 PM
I already explained I have a lot of collards that know their place in the scheme of things. They shut up, turn green, and get cooked. Go thou and do likewise.
9/8/2012 4:12:38 PM
What would be the point of God having a gender? Who's He going to have sex with? For God, a penis would be about as useful as a screen door in a submarine.
9/8/2012 4:17:17 PM
I refer to god as an "it."
9/8/2012 4:29:02 PM
@Creedence Leonore Gielgud:
Um, yes, actually, he did. There's certainly plenty of debate over whether he was actually the Messiah and the son of God, but it's pretty much universally agreed by modern scholars that he was a real person.
9/8/2012 4:34:57 PM
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