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Quote# 89543

so I have a story. My brother and his girlfriend were walking around campus after a party and on that night like two years ago there had been a suicide and they just felt like evil around them and they couldn't even explain it.

And so they were passing a chapel and they heard screaming and curses and so they went inside and there was someone they knew and she was drunk as fuck and she kept changing voices and personalities and and they looked in her eyes and it wasn't her.

She was possessed with like five different demons! And so my brother and his girlfriend were trying to perform an exorcism and when they touched her they felt the demons actually trying to attack them.

But they talked to the demons and kept asking for their names and idk all of them but one of them said he was loneliness. And he said it through the girl but it sounded like a guy. And so they cast out the demons but it took like an hour and they were constantly praying and calling us to pray

But there might still be 1 demon left in her cuz a guard came in and kicked them out cuz they didn't believe the story he just thought she was drunk. But he says there is still evil around campus and for us to be praying for him.

Nutellaadict, Is It Normal? 51 Comments [9/14/2012 3:33:15 AM]
Fundie Index: 57
WTF?! || meh
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Al (Not Bundy)

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

9/14/2012 4:19:22 AM

Leighton Buzzard

I'm going with the guard.

9/14/2012 4:19:52 AM

Xotan

The first thing this would-be exorcist needs is classes in English. The second sentence has the word 'like' used twice quite unnecessarily. It serves no purpose and the usage is incorrect.

"...they heard... curses..." And the next "...she was drunk as fuck...". Come on! I think I know someone else who may have been drunk. Try not to insult our intelligence. It only demonstrates your own ignorance.

"cuz", not English.

There is much evil in this posting.

Get an education! Your lack of one is pathetic.

9/14/2012 4:51:33 AM

Filin De Blanc

There might be a demon left in her? So did the omnipotent God just do a poor job, or what?

9/14/2012 4:53:13 AM

Badger

I. Don't. Believe. You.

9/14/2012 4:57:16 AM

John_in_Oz

J. K. Rowling's stories are better.

9/14/2012 5:08:57 AM

Doubting Thomas

I'm thinking Nutella is not the only thing this person is addicted to. Or else the FDA needs to check what's in that stuff.

9/14/2012 5:11:02 AM

Mister Spak

"But there might still be 1 demon left in her cuz a guard came in and kicked them out cuz they didn't believe the story he just thought she was drunk."

Because what does a stupid non christian guard know?

9/14/2012 5:33:45 AM

Stonespiral

Cool story bro.

9/14/2012 6:35:55 AM

Sammettik

I wonder if this guy is related to nautical999

9/14/2012 6:36:10 AM

Often Partisan

The guard - the only person with any sense in this scenario.

(Assuming it's not ShitThatDidn'tHappen.txt).

9/14/2012 6:36:20 AM



drugs are neat, arent they?

9/14/2012 6:39:13 AM

kuribo

of course she attacked you, you interrupted her buzz

I mean, if I'm drunk, the last thing I need is some asshole snatching me up and speaking in tongues at me

Also, loneliness is not a demon. It's an emotion.

also why would demons possess a woman and lead her to holy ground?

9/14/2012 6:48:32 AM

Horsefeathers

"She was possessed with like five different demons!"

I call bullshit.

It was probably just one demon with multiple personalities.

/sarcasm

"But they talked to the demons and kept asking for their names and idk all of them but one of them said he was loneliness."

Emotional states are not demons you stupid fucker.

9/14/2012 7:00:05 AM

Dr. Razark

"...walking around campus after a party..."

Yeah. College. Party. Your brother and friends were drunk and/or high.

9/14/2012 7:00:53 AM

Dr.Shrinker

"...a guard came in and kicked them out cuz they didn't believe the story he just thought she was drunk."

- IT'S PERSECUTION I TELLS 'YA!!!

9/14/2012 7:10:57 AM

Prager

Making stuff up doesn't make it true.

9/14/2012 7:11:36 AM

dionysus

They don't put much effort into these Christian fanfics. Where's the character development? Where's the drama?

9/14/2012 7:19:32 AM

Oh My Dog!

so I have a story

Yes, yes you do.

Also Nutella = LSD?

9/14/2012 7:23:26 AM

OhJohnNo

I hate to steal Anon-e-Moose's thunder, but I think I know of the girl you're talking about.



Hint: She's not real. Neither are demons.

9/14/2012 7:45:49 AM

Binky

Lying for Jesus. Possibly just Hallucinating for Jesus if I'm feeling charitable.

9/14/2012 7:46:12 AM

Mayhem

Bad acid trip for Jesus?

9/14/2012 8:17:19 AM

freako104

I call poe on this. She says the girl was drunk

9/14/2012 9:38:01 AM

Frank

"
She was possessed with like five different demons!"

More like five different spirits LoL.

9/14/2012 9:53:54 AM

The Crimson Ghost

You must be, like, possessed by the, like, stupidity demon.

9/14/2012 10:11:09 AM
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