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#1451809
Bleep
Waxing the dolphin: Leading cause of tooth decay since 4004BC!
9/27/2012 3:13:58 AM
#1451812
Filin De Blanc
Judaism tends to emphasize scholarship and intellect. And then you get people who ignore all that and become complete imbeciles like Fishman here.
9/27/2012 3:34:23 AM
#1451844
Titania
Freud practically chain smoked cigars. That's why he had oral cancer and his teeth fell out.
9/27/2012 4:11:44 AM
#1451847
craig
I am jewish. I follow reform judaism which allows masterbation we realise that is a healthy firm of physical and emotional release. I have masterbated many many times and have all of my teeth except for wisdom teeth and one molar these teeth had to be pulled because of ordinary reasons they didn't just fall out .not bad for a fifty two year old.
At one time jews believed that the babys were in the semen. The sin of mastermation was called tashlikh zera or the waisting of seed. This was like spewing babys everywhere. Medical knowlege has progressed so much since this doctrine was formulated! We jews do have our fundies we call them ultra-orthodox. They along with some of the regular orthodox really believe they have the absolute unchangable truth on many things and remain frozen in the past. I know that the ultra-orthodox in israel are so afraid of the world that the internet is forbidden to them unless if it is needed for nuisness reasons. These people drive destructive politics in israel just like the religous right drives it in the us. Same shit different toilet.
Reform, conservitive, reconstructionist and humanistic(atheistic) judaism do permit masterbation and homosexuality.
In the early seventys good scientific research came in that established that homosexuality was an inate personality trait. Thr reform movement dropped opposition to homosexuality whitch it before this considered it to be bad behaivior.
K
We believe that science trumps the torah. We even believe eveloution to be true. In the us the hard core fundys make up less than twenty percent.
9/27/2012 4:13:18 AM
#1451893
Leighton Buzzard
Rabbi Kook? Rabbi Kook? Oy.
Still got all my own teeth, dude.
9/27/2012 4:55:12 AM
#1451895
aSpires
As a chronic choker of chickens, I would like to say that I've never lost a tooth.
I have to shave my palms and I'm blind; but I still have all my teeth.
9/27/2012 4:57:44 AM
#1451940
Doubting Thomas
When I was a teenager and young adult, I beat my dick like it owed me money. I still have all my teeth (including all four wisdom teeth), I still have my eyesight, and I've never had to shave my palms.
Face it, it's normal, it's natural, and the people who don't masturbate or have sex are the unnatural people. What kind of turmoil will your life be in when you're single, so you're not supposed to have sex, but you can't masturbate to relieve your sexual tensions either? I've always had somewhat of a high sex drive so I'd been walking around with a permanent hard on for most of my young adult life.
9/27/2012 5:53:50 AM
#1451951
whatever
This is the FOURTH post I've WTFed today... it has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever read, even on FSTDT. This should work it's way up into the top 100... but I suspect it's a poe. It's just... too ridiculous. It's too crazy to be real. And Rabbi Kook? Oh come on, this is too perfect!
9/27/2012 6:03:57 AM
#1451955
Mister Spak
"'Actually in my experience it is the religious guilt regarding sexuality that causes turmoil rather than the sexuality itself," Freud said the same thing. Not only did his teeth fall out, he developed cancer of the mouth, G-d forbid, had to undergo some 30 painful operations, and finally asked his doctor to administer a lethal dose of morphine to put him out of his pain."
Or maybe he got cancer from smoking.
9/27/2012 6:05:30 AM
#1451960
Dr.Shrinker
"Rabbi Kook"
Is there a "most apt name" award?
9/27/2012 6:09:17 AM
#1451965
Amadan
"In the case of masturbation, Kabbalists explain this torment as deriving from destructive spiritual forces (kelipot) caused by the sin, which attach themselves to a person and plague him like a radioactive cloud."
OMG, Body Thetans!
9/27/2012 6:15:02 AM
#1451979
fmitchell
Note that Fishman doesn't answer the question: "How many people do you know whose teeth have fallen out because they masturbate regularly." Instead he cites a bunch of authorities, and "refutes" Freud's explanation* by (dare I say?) poisoning the well. (Protip: cigar smoking is far more likely to cause oral cancer than masturbation.)
---
* Not that Freud's explanations are necessarily right; quite the contrary. In this case, though, he made a valid observation ... perhaps because he talked to patients instead of consulting the writings of centuries-dead, superstitious old men.
9/27/2012 6:29:04 AM
#1451988
Frank
"Can you please answer a simply question, how many people do you know who's teeth have fallen out because they masturbate regularly?"
Well this is new. My mother always told me it would make me go blind. So this is why I can only eat soup.
9/27/2012 6:35:33 AM
#1452017
SpukiKitty
I fiddle my boobies & enjoy the buzz of a "vibrating egg"....I still have my teeth & eyesight and my palms are smooth as a baby's tush.
Rabbi KOOK? How fitting!
Is Fishman related to Halibut* & Fly-boy**, by any chance?
(*Hurlbut, **Schafly)
"Kookie, Fish Man, Sole Brother & Da Fly", sounds like a great name for a rock band...or perhaps some cheesy R & B/Funk/Hip Hop outfit.
9/27/2012 7:29:15 AM
#1452027
Horsefeathers
"As far as your theory: 'Actually in my experience it is the religious guilt regarding sexuality that causes turmoil rather than the sexuality itself,' Freud said the same thing. Not only did his teeth fall out, he developed cancer of the mouth, G-d forbid, had to undergo some 30 painful operations, and finally asked his doctor to administer a lethal dose of morphine to put him out of his pain."
Freud smoked several large cigars daily for a good portion of his life, but I'm sure that had absolutely nothing to do with any of that.
"Nothing positive will come out of letting people think that masturbation and other sexual transgression is a small matter. In his book, 'Orot HaTshuva,' Rabbi Kook explains that the sufferings of anxiety and depression that many people feel (what you call religious guilt) are the sufferings of the soul which is afflicted with sin, cutting the person off from G-d and alienating him from the harmony of existence."
Rabbi Kook? Now that's an apt name if I ever saw one.
"In the case of masturbation, Kabbalists explain this torment as deriving from destructive spiritual forces (kelipot) caused by the sin, which attach themselves to a person and plague him like a radioactive cloud."
You guys spend way too much time coming up with your bullshit.
9/27/2012 7:55:51 AM
#1452047
fishtank
I feel the sudden need to watch porn or convice my girl to a good long session of bed wrestling. Fuck you.
9/27/2012 8:34:16 AM
#1452061
whatever
Tzvi still hasn't realised that this is why God invented the Tenga Flip Hole!
And a small plastic peanut container with a vibrating egg fixed rigidly to it fits neatly over one's man-thing (so I've heard), and provides a nice hands-free way to stimulate oneself to a white hot eruption that's safely contained. Or so they tell me. Not that I would know personally of course...
9/27/2012 8:58:19 AM
#1452064
werewolf
Do you know how much money I've wasted on toothpaste and toothbrushes all these Years. Those fucking dentists lied to me!
9/27/2012 8:59:57 AM
#1452085
rubber chicken
None of my teeth have fallen out but I've accidently smacked the wife in the mouth a few times.
9/27/2012 9:21:42 AM
#1452122
\m/>_<\m/
regarding freud: the cocaine binge must have certainly not helped his failing health, but what do i know?
9/27/2012 10:36:05 AM
#1452123
John_in_Oz
If masturbation is causing you to lose your teeth then you're doing it wrong.
9/27/2012 10:37:54 AM
#1452125
JohnTheAtheist
Rabbi Kook! That is awesome!
9/27/2012 10:40:54 AM
#1452163
dp
i masturbate regularly, and have since i was twelve. my teeth are fine. probably Tzvi Fishman, who i'm sure masturbates regularly as well.
"Not only did his teeth fall out, he developed cancer of the mouth, G-d forbid, had to undergo some 30 painful operations, and finally asked his doctor to administer a lethal dose of morphine to put him out of his pain."
well, you've convinced me. there's no other explanation.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/12/Sigmund_Freud_LIFE.jpg/200px-Sigmund_Freud_LIFE.jpg
9/27/2012 12:13:56 PM
#1452197
Old Viking
Kelipot have attached themselves to me? Well that clears up a bunch of things.
9/27/2012 1:25:59 PM
#1452223
whatever
@dp
"i masturbate regularly, and have since i was twelve."
You lucky person! I was 16 before I discovered the gentle art of making myself explode.
9/27/2012 2:52:30 PM
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