We decided to adopt carrot and doughnuts for our symbol- for our sex symbols around here, maybe a visual reminder to all of us. You know, people say "where do you stand on homosexuality?" It's just, here's my stance on it:
God never, never created us men to sword-fight and didn't, didn't create, didn't create women for pastry parties either and so um, and uh-
Don't act holy in this place you, you'll be, you'll be on the outside looking in, and uh, so yeah. Just re- just remember because you're teenagers; you're not sure which way's up right now. Dudes don't sword-fight, alright? Just remember that, you'll be fine! There's a perfect doughnut waiting for you out there one of these days- with sprinkles...
96 comments
So men should sword-fight women, and girls shouldn't eat doughnuts.
You'd be astonished at how many people don't agree with you.
With "Sprinkles"???
If she's got a bad case of sprinkle std, I'd recommend some serious antibiotics.
There is no god and no "God's purpose"
I like my (literal, not symbolic) doughnuts, dammit! You take them away and I'll kick your ass!
PS-What do carrots have to do with swords?!
PPS-I love how they assume all teenagers are idiots! I happen to know quite a few very intelligent teens! Young =/= stupid and ignorant, ageist jerk!
Uh. Doughnuts and carrots don't really even go together, do they.
And what if you like your doughnut with nuts?
My doughnuts have no hole in them and are filled with delicious custard.
If that's supposed to represent a piece of sexual anatomy, I'm pretty sure it's the kind not normally found on women.
Don't expect anyone to take you seriously when you use childish euphemisms for genitalia.
Why not, instead of carrots, use cream-filled long johns?
Really, though, what does it matter to you if other people engage in sword fighting or doughnut bumping?
"carrots and doughnuts"
How you choose to play Hoop-la is entirely up to you, Moonie.
Personally, I prefer to have the carrots in a stew, followed by the doughnuts for dessert afterwards.
But whatever turns you on, I guess...!
"Dudes don't sword-fight, alright?"
Jedi Masters Vash, and Atris. Extremely powerful, especially with their lightsabres . Both women . Your argument is invalid.
Intetsting stutter you've got there, Bubba.
I almost bought a carrot muffin today, but decided on a cream cheese bagle in the end.
I assume Heath here was being entirely serious and the fact that I find this drivel absolutely hilarious is entirely unintentional on his part.
Still, maybe he should think about taking this act on the road. I'm sure he'd be a big hit in the comedy clubs.
Stupidly homophobic yet presented in a way that gave me giggles.
Since carrots represent males in all their phallic glory, where does sword-fighting come in. Is there a long-lost tribe of barbarians that fought with carrots? He mentions carrots which become swords.
"God never, never created us men to sword-fight..."
...except with Canaanites.
(yes, I know the 'sword-fighting' is a metaphor for Gay male sex)
This quote is so goofy. Carrot-swords & sprinkled doughnuts.
But men have sword-fighted numerous times throughout history and women do enjoy making and baking pastries and then holding parties afterwards.
This wasn't your best analogy. Oh, and going back on that innuendo, you might want to explain what 'sprinkles' are.
just remember because you're teenagers; you're not sure which way's up right now.
Judging from this little talk, they probably know a lot more than you do. And I'm sure they know how to say "penis" and "vagina"
Dudes don't sword-fight, alright? Just remember that, you'll be fine! There's a perfect doughnut waiting for you out there one of these days- with sprinkles
But some dudes aren't all that interested in doughnuts.
And what are sprinkles? Crabs?
But, dude, I've been sword-fighting my fiancé all day. I'm very much a man, and same with my fiancé. And we sword-fight. We love sword-fighting.
Furthermore, my fiancé and I don't really like sweet foods. Especially doughnuts. I hate doughnuts! We both hate doughnuts, and we love sword-fighting! Catfish?
That's almost cute in disturbing way.
Also: gay sex isn't a "sword fight", it also works with donoughts, but not the, well, sensitive kind.
I'm just doing to assume "sprinkles" means freckles, mainly, because I don't want to think anything else.
To cut to the chase on this: doughnuts can just as easily - perhaps more easily - be seen to symbolise an anus as a vagina. Not that male homosexuals universally engage in anal sex. In fact, heterosexuals are far from unknown to sample its delights too.
But a carrot for a penis! It stretches the imagination not at all. Or perhaps the imagination was of POE-ish origins.
As for the language... I fear English and American are separating faster than I had thought.
@ Meeeh: I don't know what part of America you're in, but the Americans I see are 1/3 fat, 1/3 thin, 1/3 in the middle...just saying.
Oh, and you can be a good, healthy, beautiful person at any size...
There's a perfect doughnut waiting for you out there one of these days- with sprinkles
Is he talking about some kind of vaginal herpes?
Uh, no thank you please. Just give me a moist, furry doghnut and I'll be happy. No sprinkles please.
no carrots, no doughnuts, no sword fights, no pastry panties with or without sprinkles....just a good fuck with the man i love, please!!!!
But men sword-fighted each other all the times hundreds of years ago!
Oh wait, I read that wrong. To all the gay bashers out there, I have one question:
Why do you caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare!?!?!?!
EDIT: Forgot to add years.
Seriously guys, chill out. Maybe it was a little homophobic, but he wasn't raging about it, and honestly it was kind of funny.
Its good to see that you take the subject seriously, and that you respect the intelligence of your target audience.
Dang, couldn't do it with a straight face.
I now want a donut, with sprinkles.
I also mean a real donut, not someone genitalia.
Why dont you adopt Penis and Vagina as your sex terms ?
Why a carrot and not the classic cucumber ?
@John_in_Oz
So men should sword-fight women, and girls shouldn't eat doughnuts.
You'd be astonished at how many people don't agree with you.
Actually, when you put it that way, I can kind of see it. Granted, I don't think men should eat too many doughnuts, either, but the sword fighting, I can totally get behind.
Ok, I can *kind* of see where he got the "sword-fighting" thing from, but that's because I'm from the depths of Pennsyltucky....
Anyway, when I was in grade school and quietly attempting to read a book during recess, there were two boys near me (this would have been around fifth grade, I think), saying how they thought two gay men would "do it."
They came up with two men with erect penes using them the way fencers use foils to have a "sword fight."
Maybe this blazing example of nitwittery had the same notion?
(Edit: Also, hi. Recent avid reader, first time poster.)
@ DHGM
Seriously guys, chill out. Maybe it was a little homophobic, but he wasn't raging about it, and honestly it was kind of funny.
Really? I watched the video and think he was pretty primitive and actually a bit disgusting.
Watching him and his way of speaking, all I could think of was NASCAR. Bottom drawer behavior.
However, I do believe he himself thought he was pretty cool and funny.
@Mech610
"Check out these two dudes sword fighting! There's even a girl in there ((Though I don't think she's eating a doughnut))."
Now I'm singing the song from the SNL skit, "It's not gay if it's a three-way."
@WWWWolf
Yeah, swords are for wussies! Support true manly battle-axe combat!
Battle-axes! LESBIAN LABRYS!!! NO MAN REQUIRED!!!
I have no idea what's going on in this man's head, but he sounds like he's tripping balls whilst HUNGRY.
I do hope this is some kind of poe though, as someone who speaks this childishly SHOULD NOT be telling teens ANYTHING about sex.
This is just too funny to be pissed at! xD
Could be poe, even...
EDIT: That's speaking just of this quote - haven't watched the video. It might be different.
Wow, I have never seen anyone stutter in writing before...
So, only women sword-fight, or what? You have A LOT to learn about real life, dearie.
Where the Hell did you hide my sprinkled (said Sprinkle-edd) donuts?!
I'll get you in your sleep, bitch.
In all seriousness...
image
(Look at his name, then look at the drummer's last name. I's kind of similar, just no -eyham.)
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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