Quote# 89810

We decided to adopt carrot and doughnuts for our symbol- for our sex symbols around here, maybe a visual reminder to all of us. You know, people say "where do you stand on homosexuality?" It's just, here's my stance on it:

God never, never created us men to sword-fight and didn't, didn't create, didn't create women for pastry parties either and so um, and uh-

Don't act holy in this place you, you'll be, you'll be on the outside looking in, and uh, so yeah. Just re- just remember because you're teenagers; you're not sure which way's up right now. Dudes don't sword-fight, alright? Just remember that, you'll be fine! There's a perfect doughnut waiting for you out there one of these days- with sprinkles...

Heath Mooneyham, Ignitechurch.tv (via YouTube) 96 Comments [9/28/2012 3:52:17 AM]
Fundie Index: 61
Submitted By: Missouri1988

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So men should sword-fight women, and girls shouldn't eat doughnuts.

You'd be astonished at how many people don't agree with you.

9/28/2012 3:55:58 AM


What if I don't like doughnuts?

9/28/2012 3:57:44 AM

David B.

And some people prefer their carrots in bagels. Just sayin'!

9/28/2012 3:58:43 AM


With "Sprinkles"???

If she's got a bad case of sprinkle std, I'd recommend some serious antibiotics.

There is no god and no "God's purpose"

9/28/2012 3:58:53 AM

Filin De Blanc

This is just hilarious.

9/28/2012 4:08:38 AM

The hell did I just read?

9/28/2012 4:11:02 AM


This is the worst attempt at coolspeak I have ever seen.

9/28/2012 4:15:55 AM

Voice of Humanity

Its like they've finally figured out the younger generation are almost entirely for LGBT equality and this is some desperate attempt to reach out to kids by being funny. Honestly, I did laugh at it too.

9/28/2012 4:22:45 AM

Leighton Buzzard

Carrot and doughnut? Sword-fighting? So ... you want a pork sword through your ringpiece, is that it?

9/28/2012 4:47:21 AM


I like my (literal, not symbolic) doughnuts, dammit! You take them away and I'll kick your ass!
PS-What do carrots have to do with swords?!
PPS-I love how they assume all teenagers are idiots! I happen to know quite a few very intelligent teens! Young =/= stupid and ignorant, ageist jerk!

9/28/2012 4:55:46 AM



9/28/2012 5:00:27 AM

Deep Search

Uh. Doughnuts and carrots don't really even go together, do they.

And what if you like your doughnut with nuts?

9/28/2012 5:00:36 AM


My doughnuts have no hole in them and are filled with delicious custard.

If that's supposed to represent a piece of sexual anatomy, I'm pretty sure it's the kind not normally found on women.

9/28/2012 5:01:04 AM

Mister Spak

Are fundies moving beyond "just don't do it" type sexeducation?

9/28/2012 5:16:05 AM


Yeah, swords are for wussies! Support true manly battle-axe combat!

9/28/2012 5:19:54 AM

Doubting Thomas

Don't expect anyone to take you seriously when you use childish euphemisms for genitalia.

Why not, instead of carrots, use cream-filled long johns?

Really, though, what does it matter to you if other people engage in sword fighting or doughnut bumping?

9/28/2012 5:25:08 AM


"carrots and doughnuts"

How you choose to play Hoop-la is entirely up to you, Moonie.

Personally, I prefer to have the carrots in a stew, followed by the doughnuts for dessert afterwards.

But whatever turns you on, I guess...!

"Dudes don't sword-fight, alright?"

Jedi Masters Vash, and Atris. Extremely powerful, especially with their lightsabres. Both women. Your argument is invalid.

9/28/2012 5:27:40 AM


It's like getting a facts of life talk from really embarressed parents.

9/28/2012 5:35:25 AM

Oh good, someone else pointed out that the sprinkles sound suspiciously like an STD. Or crabs.

9/28/2012 6:01:18 AM

Cthulhu's Quill

All this did is make me hungry

9/28/2012 6:06:43 AM

Dr. Razark


You have pet nicknames for gay sex?

9/28/2012 6:11:46 AM

Carrots are healthier anyway~

9/28/2012 6:13:21 AM


Sword-fighting and pastry parties sounds way more awesome than just calling it "having sex".

9/28/2012 6:30:18 AM


Lusting after donuts? I had no idea Homer Simpson was a fundie!

9/28/2012 6:33:09 AM


...what the fuck?

9/28/2012 6:35:19 AM

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