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Quote# 89962

Thank you for your post.

Everything that needs to happen before the rapture has presented itself, except for the possibilities of:


The Fall of Damascus.
We are watching the Islamisation of the Middle East as they regroup in their Arab Spring/Winter to surround Israel.
We are watching countries collapse economically and calling for a financial savior to rescue them.
The Euro is tanking and announces a need for a messiah.
The local church is infected with apostasy and is baring her open wound for a one world religion solution under the guise of sensual love and acceptance of all God and scripture forbids.



The world is actually waiting for us to leave because nothing else can happen and they can do nothing else before we are gone.

Here are some things we won't see before we are taken out of here:


The world system financially collapses and unites under one economic banner.
A new world leader rises up to rescue the world from war and socio-economic collapse.
A new church leader rises up to unify all churches together under one banner of love and tolerance.
Israel builds and worships in their new temple in Jerusalem.
Israel is surrounded by nations for obliteration.


Which leads us back to our original question: "How long will our LORD tarry?"

buzzardhut, rapture ready 43 Comments [10/8/2012 3:47:59 AM]
Fundie Index: 38
Submitted By: Tony
WTF?! || meh
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etr

you believe a 19th century heresy...so no

10/4/2012 7:44:59 PM

Power Skunk

"Baring her open wound." giggitygiggity..
This has been your Daily Moment of Immaturity/Random Neural Firing of the Day.

10/8/2012 4:15:43 AM

UHM

"The Euro is tanking and announces a need for a messiah."

No wonder after the Dollar robbed it and shot it twice in the stomach.

10/8/2012 4:23:47 AM

Filin De Blanc

Maybe if Buzzardhut got some "sensual love" once in a while he wouldn't need to believe in ridiculous fairy tales like the Rapture.

10/8/2012 4:25:53 AM

Leighton Buzzard

"How long will our LORD tarry?"

For the rest of Time, dude. You ain't going nowheres.

10/8/2012 4:47:54 AM

Doubting Thomas

We are watching the Islamisation of the Middle East as they regroup in their Arab Spring/Winter to surround Israel.

Are you kidding me? Seriously? Israel's been surrounded by Islamic states since 1947.

10/8/2012 5:05:19 AM

Pule Thamex

""How long will our LORD tarry?""

That's a very good and a very important question.

Let's see. If we take the number of instances of our Lord landing His cloud in San Francisco, to stretch His legs for a bit, and multiply that by er ... soon (0 x eternity), then we get 0.

Or, if we take the number of times buzzardhut types bullshit and multiply that by er...soon (lots x eternity), then we get megalots.

So clearly, the answer is that 1) our Lord will be here immediately or 2) our Lord will tarry for longer than forever.

Note: If our Lord has not appeared by the time you read this, then answer number 2) is correct.

10/8/2012 5:07:07 AM

Mister Spak

"Which leads us back to our original question: "How long will our LORD tarry?"

Since you retards were writing this crap in the early 1980's, I would say a long time.

Wait, you were writing it in the 1880s, so it would be an even longer time.

10/8/2012 5:43:30 AM

Dr.Shrinker

How long before buzzardhut catches on?

10/8/2012 5:46:02 AM

dionysus

Here are some things we won't see before we are taken out of here:


The world system financially collapses and unites under one economic banner.
A new world leader rises up to rescue the world from war and socio-economic collapse.
A new church leader rises up to unify all churches together under one banner of love and tolerance.
Israel builds and worships in their new temple in Jerusalem.


So, basically the world becomes a better place without you? I couldn't agree more.

Israel is surrounded by nations for obliteration.

Okay, that's not so good but four out of five is a pretty good track record.

10/8/2012 6:04:40 AM

Raised by Horses

"Any day now.."

The mantra of Christians for over two millennia.

10/8/2012 6:42:33 AM

Anon-e-moose

"The Fall of Damascus"

Not yet. We haven't seen Arse-sad dragged out of a sewer, a la Gaddafi, and subjected to summary Street Justice. Therefore Syria =/= Libya. Yet.

"Which leads us back to our original question: "How long will our LORD tarry?"

The Bible claimed that Tyre had been completely erased from the map. It's still there to this day.

So, I'd say that the answer to that question is this: Permanently. As in he doesn't fucking exist.



See? So simple, even a baby understands. And that's before I mention your precious (C)Rapture.

10/8/2012 6:52:37 AM

somecommonsense

Well in the book of Acts they expected Jesus to return any day...and Jesus himself said that 'there are some here who will not taste of death before the son of man returns'...well almost 2000 years has passed, I would say he is running a bit late.

10/8/2012 7:00:34 AM

Frostythesnowman

It's use of words such as 'tarry' which doesn't exactly lend itself to taking you people seriously.

Your god will tarry until every star in the firmament has died, and the unicorn and the serpent lyeth together because the rapture was made up in the 19th century, and your god was made up in the Bronze age. Sorry.

10/8/2012 8:26:58 AM

Valerius

"We are watching the Islamisation of the Middle East"
The Middle East has been predominantly islamic for centuries. How far up your ass has your head been shoved if this is news to you?

"We are watching countries collapse economically and calling for a financial savior to rescue them."
Then why didn't your rapture come during the 1930s?

"The Euro is tanking and announces a need for a messiah."
A unit of currency can talk and has need of a spiritual leader?

"The world is actually waiting for us to leave because nothing else can happen and they can do nothing else before we are gone."
Who is "they"? And nothing else can happen? What does that even mean? Unless the entire universe and everything in it is frozen in space and time, then stuff's happening.

"Which leads us back to our original question: 'How long will our LORD tarry?'"
Considering you lunatics have been waiting for him for over 2 000 years now, I'm pretty sure he won't be coming any time soon.

Now take your meds and get back to that nice, comfy padded room.

10/8/2012 9:14:53 AM

Amadaun

I am really impressed that you can stave off the collapse of international finance by your mere presence. And you're not even Jewish! At least they have a record of being essential like that.

...you read LeHaye&Jenkins' rapture books, don't you? Nicholae Carpathia does not exist, you know. He doesn't even make sense. And Israel has already been pulled apart and reformed. Are we assuming they were allowed to survive the diaspora as a distinct nation solely so they could hold the holy land again in time to be wiped out at the end of the world?

My favorite part: The Islamization of the Middle East. Dude, that was thirteen hundred years ago. Chill. That happened. It's done. No use flipping out over spilled milk.

10/8/2012 9:23:34 AM

Frank

All that rigmarole just to get a bunch of hicks into heaven.

There must be an easier way.

10/8/2012 9:28:58 AM

Joe Mama

We are watching the Islamisation of the Middle East

Are you kidding me? The Middle East? You know, the birthplace of Islam? Where Islam has existed for centuries? It's just now becoming Islamified?

The world is actually waiting for us to leave

You got that right, but not for the reasons you think.

because nothing else can happen and they can do nothing else before we are gone.

Then why do you raptards always complain about how evil the world is getting?

A new church leader rises up to unify all churches together under one banner of love and tolerance.

That you're against love and tolerance tells me everything I need to know about you.

How long will our LORD tarry?

Seeing as it's been 2000 years already, and since he said he'd return in his disciples' lifetime, I'm guessing you'll still be waiting for Jesus to return when you're on your deathbed taking your terminal breath.

10/8/2012 9:51:52 AM

Madbull

"A new church leader rises up to unify all churches together under one banner of love and tolerance. "

"unify all churches together under one banner of love and tolerance."

"under one banner of love and tolerance."

"love and tolerance."

/) o3o (\

10/8/2012 10:05:17 AM

Ebon

Is there anything you maniacs wouldn't interpret as a sign of impending armageddon?

10/8/2012 10:05:32 AM

Mattiedef

Silly Pre-milleniumisms.


Post-milleniumism is the way to go! I mean, it's what Catholics and Orthodox believe in.

Clearly the option here is BURN THE HERETICS.

10/8/2012 10:30:20 AM

Mattiedef

Silly Pre-milleniumisms.


Post-milleniumism is the way to go! I mean, it's what Catholics and Orthodox believe in.

Clearly the option here is BURN THE HERETICS.

10/8/2012 10:32:25 AM

John_in_Oz

Heretic!
You must believe that Jesus returned when he said he would, back in the first century A.D. or your lack of faith will doom you to hell. I believe it already happened but nobody noticed.

10/8/2012 10:33:09 AM

Serpensium

All I think of when this PMD crap shows up is if they got it from L&J. Worlds worst books, indeed. your rapture garbage is nothing but nineteenth century darbyist nonsense for people afraid of death.

10/8/2012 10:44:50 AM

Ludd

It's totally going to happen this time........I can feel it! There's no way I could possibly be let down by these 'signs of the end times'. No way!

10/8/2012 10:46:37 AM
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