Many years ago when I was a brand new Christian a great aunt told me "Do you want to be in a movie theater when Christ returns?". True words of wisdom.
32 comments
Who wouldn't want to be in a movie theatre when Jesus returns. You could get him to use his magical Jesus-powers to shanghai the projector then the two of us could spend the rest of the day making snid remarks while watching chessy 80s horror movies. If that ain't heaven, then sign me a one way ticket to hell good sir.
Why would Jesus care what youe were doing at the exact moment of his return? He spies on everyone from heaven 24-7, so its not like he would be surprised. He already knows when you touch yourself, when you skip church ect.
Ooh, let’s see if we can get them practicing some population control!
Do you wanna be fucking when Christ returns?
Do you want to be giving a blowjob when Christ returns? Because if you are, does that mean you are going to spend eternity with a cock in your mouth?
Ah, the things that fundies concern themselves with.
If Christ returned, how would he appear, if he appeared in the flesh, trans-globally . . . spontaneously? He wouldn’t return’ to all areas of the world at the same time, would he, if he was one body’.
So what difference does it make where you are?
If you were in America, and Christ DID return, he would, I’m pretty sure, return’ to the place where he departed from’, i.e. somewhere near Jerusalem, surely.
@#1267377
Who the hell WOULDN'T?!
What would you rather been doing? Feeding the poor? Visiting the sick? According to your lot, Jesus doesn't care about those things. Its that whole, "I'm saved by my faith, not by works" routine you love so much.
Confused?
So were we! You can find all of this, and more, on Fundies Say the Darndest Things!
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