“A’oodhu Billaah min al-khubthi wa’l-khabaa’ith."
Yep, definitely piles!
10/15/2012 3:34:03 AM
Filin De Blanc
I feel really bad for the devil who got assigned the job of Toilet Jinn.
10/15/2012 3:37:14 AM
I live and work in the gulf, and what's terrifying is a lot of gulf Arabs actually believe this. Even to the point where in many apartments and villas, people have what are called "jinn lamps" in the bedrooms closest to bathroom, in order to keep the jinn away at night.
Yes, you heard me. Full grown adults need to sleep with nightlights in the gulf in order to keep the boogymen away...
10/15/2012 3:37:48 AM
And whoever believeth upon this shit shall be cursed with the demon Constipation for life.
10/15/2012 4:18:07 AM
Jinni live in the shithouse. The house of Islam is a shit house. Draw your own conclusions.
10/15/2012 4:28:24 AM
The bathroom isn't evil if you flush. Light a match or spray some air freshener if it's evil.
10/15/2012 4:40:45 AM
I also know how to prevent being attacked by jinn while on the can! Here's how I do it, step by step:
1. Jinn aren't real, so just move on with your life.
2. There is no step 2.
(Not to be confused with djinn, which are real, and can be summoned once per turn, but can mess up your class if you're not careful. /sillygeekingout)
10/15/2012 4:51:39 AM
It sounds like your praying to get all the poop out of your system - erm, no not the verbal one.
10/15/2012 4:59:02 AM
Might be a bit more useful to use a little bleach. That will protect you from all the "evil souls", or germs, as some people call them.
10/15/2012 5:09:38 AM
Thus it is appropriate if one wants to enter the toilet to say “A’oodhu Billaah min al-khubthi wa’l-khabaa’ith
Sorry, but if I've really got to take a shit, there's no way I'll ever be able to remember or pronounce this correctly in time.
10/15/2012 5:23:24 AM
"I seek refuge with Allaah from evil and from the male and female devils"
What about the intersex devils?
Protection from Evil
Range: 0 (caster only)
Duration: 12 turns
This spell circles the cleric with a magic barrier. This barrier will move with the caster. The spell serves as some protection from “evil” attacks (attacks by monsters of some alignment other than the cleric’s alignment) by adding 1 to the cleric’s saving throws, and subtracting 1 from the “to hit” die roll of these opponents. The spell will also keep out hand-to-hand attacks from enchanted (summoned or created) monsters (such as living statues), but not missile fire attacks from these creatures (see COMBAT). The cleric may break this protection by attacking the monster in hand-to-hand combat, but still gains the bonus “to hit” and saves.
10/15/2012 5:41:56 AM
Raised by Horses
At which point the doctor handed Shaykh Ibn Uthaymeen a prescription for a white coat with extra long sleeves.
10/15/2012 5:48:39 AM
Thus it is appropriate if one wants to enter the toilet to say...
Huh, strange. I usually say some nonsense before going to the bathroom too like "Shama lama ding dong" or "Give peace a chance."
I once passed a kidney stone and it sounded like I was screaming out a Muddy Waters song!
10/15/2012 6:30:50 AM
A’oodhu Billaah min al-khubthi wa’l-khabaa’ith. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! IA! IA! CTHULHU FHTAGN!
10/15/2012 6:33:16 AM
"How can a person conceal himself from the jinn when in the toilet?"
A question that has troubled the great minds of the ages, surely.
10/15/2012 6:46:40 AM
@Filin De Blanc:
Maybe I played too much Magic the Gathering back in the 90's, but the first thing I thought of when I read the phrase "Toilet Djinn" is that it would make a cool creature for a Black Deck:
Casting Cost: 2BB
Power 1/ Toughness 1
B, Tap: Bury target tapped creature."
I guess makes "A’oodhu Billaah min al-khubthi wa’l-khabaa’ith" the verbal component of the spell Protection From Evil.
10/15/2012 6:54:25 AM
Rabbit of Caerbannog
How is this a thing?
10/15/2012 6:54:31 AM
@ Filin De Blanc:
10/15/2012 6:54:32 AM
Calling poe on this. Way to easy
10/15/2012 8:22:15 AM
How can a person conceal himself from the jinn when in the toilet?
Close the frikkin door, lazy bastard.
10/15/2012 9:41:57 AM
Or, you could just accept the fact that the "evil jinns" are simply the sulfuric compounds & methane coming out of your butt. A schpritz of air freshener/essential oils & chlorophyll supplements should do the trick. Perhaps some Black Seed oil might give you a good cleanse & great health (and it's Mohammed-approved!)
You Mid-East Muslims used to be the social, intellectual, artistic & philosophical light of the world! What the heck happened?! If you want to revive the Islamic Golden Age, you should EMBRACE "Western Values", not reject them. Embrace the values of Science, Reason, Art, Math, Physics, Philosophy, etc. and adapt it to your Mid-East/Islamic aesthetic.
Why the heck would jinn bug you in the bathroom, to begin with? Don't they have better things to do? Do they have a weird Scat/Urine fetish or something? You are an idiot!
10/15/2012 10:09:06 AM
But isn't a jinn a genie?!
And don't genies grant 3 wishes?!
Why would you want to conceal yourself from that?!
If you really don't want to run into jinn just make sure one of your 3 wishes is never to have to use the toilet again.
10/15/2012 10:11:05 AM
Djinn is basically Arabic for Demon. Occasionally they are trapped to give wishes, thus the lamp genie.
The whole idea that Djinn might dwell were Sulpher smells are is because Djinn are essentially made of fire. Their Angels (Fail memory at name) are made of pure light.
Cleanliness is also a big deal for Islam, so yeah. In a place where you don't have good hand washing and toiler paper, cleanliness is a big deal? Might develop an irrational phobia that is no longer applicable in this day and age of modern cleanliness.
While I can totally see where he's coming from (Weirdly enough), it is still silly fundie crap.
Alternatively, since it mentions male and female (For some reason)... it's to guard against the urge to masturbate. Reasonable given the religion, but still silly. Not as fundie.
10/15/2012 11:07:33 AM
Get some cleanser and a brush. You just need to keep your toilet from becoming filthy.
10/15/2012 12:39:05 PM
Better check the bath for Leviathan while you're at it.
10/15/2012 2:00:20 PM