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Quote# 90126

I just earned my PhD in Theology by writing my dissertation on the spiritual gift of discerning of spirits (explained in the Bible as the supernatural ability God gives some people to see angels, demons, and the Holy Spirit).

Do you believe in God, the Holy Spirit, Angels, and Demons?

I do. But these spirits are invisible, unless you have the gift.

My new book explains how YOU can receive the gift/ability to see the spirits! Not only that, it reveals 50 hidden demons ruling the heart of the 44th President of the United States, Barack H. Obama.

Am I saying Obama is demon-possessed? No. (see page 12 of the book.)

Am I saying Obama has been ruled, at different times, but up to 50 different evil spirits, as historically proven by his words and deeds? Yes. (see ch. 3 & 4 of the book).

Using the same PhD tested theological method I successfully defended in my PhD dissertation, I have developed a way to help you see the invisible spirits ruling in the heart of the 44th President.

And not only can you see them, but anybody can apply my method to see the evil spirits actually ruling Obama’s heart.

Sounds crazy? No, it’s actually logical, systematic, and biblical.

Gordon Klingenschmitt, God Discussion 68 Comments [10/16/2012 3:37:40 AM]
Fundie Index: 75
Submitted By: Zagen30
WTF?! || meh
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Stonespiral

I'm willing to bet the 'school' you graduated from was far from accredited and had a cross in the logo.

10/16/2012 3:51:01 AM

Filin De Blanc

This "PhD tested theological method" doesn't happen to involve using large quantities of narcotics, does it?

10/16/2012 3:56:03 AM

rubber chicken

If you can scam money from deluded Teapartyites, go for it!

Personally, I think you've gone for the wrong media. I don't believe that your target market have much truck with books. You should have gone with cartoons or maybe even finger painting.

10/16/2012 4:06:57 AM

Leighton Buzzard

That's your PhD? That's setting the bar low, even for Patriot University.

10/16/2012 4:41:54 AM

pete

There are many names for the gift of being able "to see angels, demons, and the Holy Spirit". Lunacy, schizophrenia, and psychosis are amongst the most common.

10/16/2012 4:44:45 AM

Rob aka Mediancat

Sounds crazy? Yes. It sounds like something the Joker would look at and say, "Sorry, kiddo, that's too weird even for me."

10/16/2012 5:03:14 AM

VioletBeauregarde

You're trippin'! No more peyote for you, mister...you obviously can't handle it!

10/16/2012 5:06:51 AM

Mister Spak

I got my Ph.D. at Starfleet academy by writing my dissertation on aliens living in subspace domains.


10/16/2012 5:14:48 AM

Prager

God, the holy spirit, angels, and demons are imaginary unless you are insane. If you think you can actually SEE them then you seriously need the help of a good psychiatrist. FIXED!

10/16/2012 5:26:03 AM

Doubting Thomas

"You, too, can see angels and demons. Just follow my course for $19.95. And if you act now, I'll throw in at no cost to you, your very own angel. That's just $19.95, operators are standing by."

10/16/2012 5:26:23 AM

D Laurier

I call BULLSHIT.

10/16/2012 5:50:37 AM

UHM

"I just earned my PhD in Theology" somebody mastrubating the entire time you would have done that would have archieved more that you did.

"I successfully defended in my PhD dissertation," How? Did you call the testers atheists, satanist or demon-possesed after every question?

"logical, systematic, and biblical." One of these does not fit the theme, can you tell which?

10/16/2012 5:53:33 AM

gravematter

Does the evidence for Obama being possessed by demons in any way relate to the colour of his skin? I'm willing to bet it does...

10/16/2012 6:11:30 AM

Dr. Razark

"...logical, systematic, and biblical."
One of these things is not like the others.
One of these things just doesn't belong.
Can you tell which thing is not like the others,
By the time I finish my song?


By the way, where did you "earn" your PhD? I paid $20 for my doctorate, but I'm not under any delusions that it is actually worth anything.

10/16/2012 6:21:05 AM

The Crimson Ghost

I suppose that claiming that Obama is demonically possessed is a bit of a change from screaming that he's a communist.

If I want to see Angels & Demons I'll buy the DVD.

10/16/2012 6:22:57 AM

Dr.Shrinker

Invisible spirits that only you and a few other "special" people can see influencing our nation's chief executive...naw nothing crazy about that.

(I'll keep him busy, you call the boys in white)

10/16/2012 6:33:23 AM

dionysus

Do you believe in God, the Holy Spirit, Angels, and Demons?

I do. But these spirits are invisible, unless you have the GIFT.


Yes, you have to be a pretty big fuckwad to post this garbage on the internet under the false authority of a PhD in Theology.

10/16/2012 6:33:40 AM

freako104

Where did you get your PhD? And Biblical tends to contradict logical thoughts

10/16/2012 6:58:44 AM

Horsefeathers

"I just earned my PhD in Theology by writing my dissertation on the spiritual gift of discerning of spirits"

I always suspected that theology degrees were a sham. I'm not sure how something like that gets to be considered a credible degree.

Religious studies, as a subset of anthropology for instance, I could see being a legitimate field of study, but theology just doesn't seem to me like it would be a "real" degree and this just shows why.

"Do you believe in God, the Holy Spirit, Angels, and Demons?

I do. But these spirits are invisible, unless you have the gift."


Oh, of course. I thought everyone knew that.

"Am I saying Obama is demon-possessed? No."

Yes. (See your previous sentence, moron.)

"Sounds crazy?"

Yes. Very.

"No, it’s actually logical, systematic, and biblical."

Logical and Biblical should never be used in the same sentence together in the manner you're attempting. You could hurt someone with the fits of laughter that will ensue after reading the sentence.

10/16/2012 7:16:31 AM

Toothygrin

Am I the only one that read "gift/ability" as "gullability?"

10/16/2012 7:42:18 AM

Table Rock

Does your book come with a reading light and a Snuggie? And if I call within the next 10 minutes, does it include a PhD in Theology?

10/16/2012 8:16:33 AM

John_in_Oz

P.S. Please send money for my book, not more psychiatrists.
~ Gordon.

10/16/2012 8:27:12 AM

Thinking Allowed

You mean that Kent Hovind had a classmate?

10/16/2012 8:29:55 AM

Meeeh

I just earned my PhD in Theology..

A PhD in Bullshit it seems - good grief, what a useless degree!

10/16/2012 8:48:57 AM

louislois

So did you master in speaking in tongues?

10/16/2012 8:52:50 AM
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