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Quote# 90126

I just earned my PhD in Theology by writing my dissertation on the spiritual gift of discerning of spirits (explained in the Bible as the supernatural ability God gives some people to see angels, demons, and the Holy Spirit).

Do you believe in God, the Holy Spirit, Angels, and Demons?

I do. But these spirits are invisible, unless you have the gift.

My new book explains how YOU can receive the gift/ability to see the spirits! Not only that, it reveals 50 hidden demons ruling the heart of the 44th President of the United States, Barack H. Obama.

Am I saying Obama is demon-possessed? No. (see page 12 of the book.)

Am I saying Obama has been ruled, at different times, but up to 50 different evil spirits, as historically proven by his words and deeds? Yes. (see ch. 3 & 4 of the book).

Using the same PhD tested theological method I successfully defended in my PhD dissertation, I have developed a way to help you see the invisible spirits ruling in the heart of the 44th President.

And not only can you see them, but anybody can apply my method to see the evil spirits actually ruling Obama’s heart.

Sounds crazy? No, it’s actually logical, systematic, and biblical.

Gordon Klingenschmitt, God Discussion 68 Comments [10/16/2012 3:37:40 AM]
Fundie Index: 75
Submitted By: Zagen30
WTF?! || meh
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Ebon

One big [citation needed] there.

10/16/2012 8:58:09 AM



I have a pair of sunglasses that do that, just put them on and see any supernatural thing around. They are WAY COOL !!

I have not actually seen anything with them but I do get fleeting shadows just on the edges of my sight.

ANYWAY... good luck with the book.

10/16/2012 9:25:35 AM

JB Mason

"My new book explains how YOU can receive the gift/ability to see the spirits! Not only that, it reveals 50 hidden demons ruling the heart of the 44th President of the United States, Barack H. Obama."

But, wait, there's more! If you call now, we'll send you a second copy absolutely free. Just pay additional shipping and handling.

10/16/2012 9:32:14 AM



Boy having PhD tested method and having defended your dissertation sounds impressive, but it really isn't. My defense was as follows (and the ones at my current university are substantially similar):

It was open to the public. Copies of my dissertation was provided in advance to everyone. I gave an thirty minute long presentation, which included, but not in this order, my figures, explained my methodology, showed the computer simulations, did the literature review. After that was questions from the board, then other faculty, then the public at large (questions from other people in my cohort were the hardest of all). The questions from the board and faculty were designed to make sure you thought out the entire field, didn't miss an important paper or the like and to test your methodology. They weren't really designed to catch you or screw you over, just point out if you missed something. The ones from the cohort and public at large were the random ones, some from people with zero understanding of your field, some from people in different fields that would have approached it a different way and some from people genuinely trying to screw you.

Looking back, it really wasn't that big of a deal, and I tell my own students that if you are going to get asked for revisions, you would know that ahead of time because I or other faculty would have pointed it out. The faculty really doesn't want to force candidates to withdraw. I would imagine that he had a similar experience or, if he went to a mill, that he had a way softer one than that.

10/16/2012 9:51:54 AM

SpukiKitty

Ah! Another venerable alumni from The Seminary Of Cereal Box Tops, very much like The University Of Crackerjacks....where all Fundies get their degrees!

A Fundie And His Money Are Soon Parted.

If there are evil spirits haunting folks, they would be messing with the Mad Tea Party Bunch.

This is so stupid, as stupid as the weirdo who mistakes bathroom butt-gas/poop-smell for jinns from another comment.

Or this FSTDT CLASSIC!....

"Leviathan is a spirit I have battled as well...."

10/16/2012 10:02:36 AM

Anon-e-moose

"I just earned my PhD in Theology by writing my dissertation on the spiritual gift of discerning of spirits (explained in the Bible as the supernatural ability God gives some people to see angels, demons, and the Holy Spirit).

Do you believe in God, the Holy Spirit, Angels, and Demons?"

Was this Ph.D earned at, say... the hallowed halls of learning at Oxford or Cambridge Universities, via the Emeritus Professors of Theology/Philosophy there? Or from Patriot Bible University; from the same place 'Dr' Kent 'Oh, Mark 12;17 doesn't apply to me!' Hovind: the roll in the toilet cubicle, with the sign above saying 'Chiristian Education degrees. Please Take one', amirite?!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=GB&v=iN45OjB-cCU

(*sings*):

'Gordon is a moron!'

[/Jilted John, a.k.a. John Shuttleworth] X3

10/16/2012 10:03:44 AM

Justanotheratheist

Yeah, they'll be queueing round the block all night to buy a copy of your masterpiece.

Oh, and the words "logical" and "biblical" never belong in the same sentence.

10/16/2012 10:19:31 AM

beehummingbird

"Am I saying Obama is demon-possessed? No.

Am I saying Obama has been ruled, at different times, but up to 50 different evil spirits, as historically proven by his words and deeds? Yes."

I thought being ruled by evil spirits was the same thing as being demon possessed? :/

10/16/2012 10:53:07 AM

Sasha

I can see that Gordon Klingenschmitt is a lying grifter with no trace of conscience. And I didn't have to buy a book to do it.

10/16/2012 11:15:37 AM

Frostythesnowman

I fear that the several hours which Mr Klingonshit took to download his impressive qualification could have been avoided had he simply written 'I hate black people' a few times. I would like to know however, why the demons are ruling the President's circulatory system rather than his brain?

10/16/2012 11:28:21 AM

doperwtje

'logical, systematic, and biblical'.
one of these words does not belong...

10/16/2012 11:34:20 AM

Mattiedef

You know what you should spend your time making instead of making non-sense on demons, god, and angels with your PhD in Theology?

Something awesome, like the Modern day version of the Summa Theologica. Be a doctor of the church, instead of fucking nutzo.


10/16/2012 11:43:47 AM

Dr.Shrinker

"I just earned my PhD in Theology..."

- Ah, so you are an accredited liar

10/16/2012 11:47:47 AM

John

I just earned my PhD in Theology by writing my dissertation on the spiritual gift of discerning of spirits

Can I get a PhD in Christmas-ology by writing one on the discerning of Santa Claus?

10/16/2012 12:22:19 PM

Pie Man

What diploma mill did you attend, might I ask?

10/16/2012 12:44:55 PM

Mr. Bigglesworth

Let's see Obama is:

The Anti-Christ
An illegal alien, or just not a U.S. citizen
An atheist
A communist
A homosexual
A child molestation victim
A "Manchurian Candidate"/yes man for the Jews/NWO
A Muslim
A Nazi
A person with a neurological disorder
A pothead
A Satanist

Now he is "demon-ruled"

What will he be next? My prediction is...

He is a black separatist who is in cahoots with the Jews and HAARP to annihilate the white race via chemtrails.

10/16/2012 1:00:17 PM

Osiris

I think people who get real PhDs in real fields of academic study have already done studies on that phenomenon, and even have a name for it. They call it disassociating schizophrenia.

10/16/2012 1:05:21 PM

GodDiscussion

Hope you guys realize that this quote came from nutty Chaplain Gordon James Klingenschmitt and that the linked site was having fun with it.

10/16/2012 1:09:55 PM

checkmate

Klingenschmitt, a fundamentalist Christian popular with the far right, was discharged from his chaplaincy position in the Navy following a court martial. He recently received his PhD and refers to himself as "Dr. Chaps."



The "book" is an ebook you can download for a donation.

The school seems to be Regent University in Virginia Beach, Virginia.

10/16/2012 1:16:25 PM

JGC

No, it just sounds crazy.

10/16/2012 1:41:25 PM

PWEOTWEB

I just earned my PhD in Theology

I only had to read this far to tell that whatever followed would be retarded.

10/16/2012 2:05:25 PM



A PhD in Theology is as impressive as being potty trained.

10/16/2012 2:27:27 PM

Pule Thamex

O Gordon, how we do love thy sonorous prose soaring majestically twixt the lofty spires of Academe before gracefully descending to finally alight on our brute bone-heads where it will light the fires of truth and erudition causing our shambling baseness to erupt in golden knowledge of the glorious invisible world. Then may the wretched demons and evil spirits fear and quake. The startled dark demons of melanin reveal themselves with worried tremors as they flock in abject fear and... cont. Page 94

10/16/2012 2:44:06 PM

Old Viking

I thought a doctorate in theology is a ThD. But what the hell, a degree of any sort in theology is the intellectual equivalent of saying, "I spent my youth in pool halls."

10/16/2012 3:30:11 PM

I am the one who knocks.

Maybe this guy needs to lay off the spirits a little. And yes I was referring to the liquid variety.

10/16/2012 4:30:59 PM
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