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Quote# 90450

Why soccer is beloved by the dumb and the damned.

The devil’s attacks on goodness and decency take many forms. The common denominator? Disruption, disorder, and “dis” everything. Dante described the workings of the devil as “dis”.

Throughout history, the devil has pushed to destroy every good thing and institution. He has destroyed with divorce, birth control, and abortion. He undermines marriage, prosperity, and all that is good and decent.

Soccer is typical of activities which are made as hurtful as possible. When a child’s head comes in contact with a soccer ball speeding toward it, the brain sloshes within the skull. Delicate bones in the ear undergo stress. Delicate neural connections are broken. Who could be in favor of that?

It would be easy to say: “Let’s just stop letting kids hit soccer balls with their heads.”

That is not done. The devil’s minions do not what that damage to stop. They understand that cumulative brain damage, no matter how minute, reduces the effectiveness of the human brain. Soccer dumbs down everyone involved, especially the smarter kids.

Evil does not like intelligence. Hitting hard soccer balls with their heads makes hundreds of millions of middle-class children far less able to do well than they would have otherwise been. After they are dumbed-down, they are dragged down, unable to solve problems as effectively as they could have if child abusers had not damaged their brains by having hard soccer balls slamming endlessly into their heads.

That’s why soccer is beloved by the dumb and the damned. It seems more popular with Democrats than Republicans, though, on analysis, it is usually Democrats behind the process by which so many Republican children’s minds are weakened.

To many leftists, soccer is a “fairness issue” by which those pesky smart people can be brought to lower levels of achievement and accomplishment. There are lots of reasons why soccer is beloved by the dumb and the damned.

Catholic Fundamentalism, Catholic Fundamentalism 62 Comments [11/3/2012 9:45:05 AM]
Fundie Index: 61
WTF?! || meh
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Osiris

Yeah fuck soccer. It's only really popular in Latin America anyway.

11/3/2012 4:56:19 PM

dfmfundies

You know, I don't like soccer either, but I wouldn't go so far as to call it satanic.

Now ice hockey, there's a game for the dumb and the damned.

11/3/2012 5:17:27 PM

Pule Thamex

We know, if a ball hasn't at one time hit our head, that the Catholic Church is a super intelligent sect which warns of a malicious invisible devil and its equally as invisible supernatural minions who take delight in ball-heading children.

This is, of course, because Catholicism prefers people who are capable of free enquiry to people who are ignorant or who are educated just enough to be manipulative arseholes. Er...perhaps?

11/3/2012 6:03:15 PM

Thirddrop

I went to the site. Other posters a tearing him a new one. Having been cracked on the side of the head with a cricket ball, I know which ball I'd rather hit my head.

11/3/2012 7:02:38 PM

Thirddrop


11/3/2012 7:04:14 PM

Hoplite

That is some funny shit.

OTOH, it probably explains the fascination with WWF and NASCAR.

11/3/2012 7:11:58 PM

Sasha

Soccer is a Democrat plot to weaken the minds of Republican children?

I salute the cunning of our liberal overlords!

11/3/2012 7:24:21 PM

Reckoner

Catholics against soccer? I didn't even know that was possible. I thought they went together like a hand in glove.

11/3/2012 8:17:53 PM

Martha Jones

My cousin and his family are huge soccer fans.

They're also very devout Catholics.

Fuck you.

11/3/2012 11:18:47 PM

Ebon

Are you fucking serious? Soccer?

11/3/2012 11:27:16 PM

Indicible

"Evil does not like intelligence."

Neither does your religion: intelligence leads to questioning and to doubt.

11/3/2012 11:55:19 PM

Citizen Justin

I guess he's not a Celtic fan then.

11/4/2012 12:07:21 AM

louislois


11/4/2012 12:32:00 AM

solomongrundy

Meh'd, as according to 'The Encyclopedia of British Football':

A large number of football players in the past have suffered long-term brain damage because of repeated heading of a heavy, wet ball. Stan Cullis, the Wolves and England centre-half was knocked unconscious during a game against Everton in the 1938-39 season. He suffered severe concussion that required intensive medical care. His doctors warned him that another serious concussion could kill him. A couple of years later a tremendous shot hit him in the face. Once again he suffered from severe concussion and was on the danger list for five days. He was warned by a doctor that because of his previous head injuries, even heading a heavy leather football could prove fatal and despite now being England's captain, Cullis decided to retire from playing football. In his later years, Cullis, like many footballers from this period, suffered from dementia. In 2002 a coroner said it was likely that the death of former West Bromwich Albion centre-forward, Jeff Astle, had been caused by "repeated small traumas to the brain".

Research carried out by D. R. Williams in 2002 concluded that repetitive mild head trauma over the course of an amateur and professional footballer's career may increase an individual's risk of developing dementia in later life. Former players who have suffered from this disease include Joe Mercer and Bob Paisley.


That said, of course modern footballs are a lot safer.

11/4/2012 12:36:12 AM

SnorriK

Wait, Dante said...?

Dante's Inferno is making fun of the biblé, not a true story by far.

Stating that book as factual is stating that the galaxy we live in looks like what google tells you. No one knows its form because we haven't been there yet.

11/4/2012 2:51:21 AM

Mick McT

Since I've always believed that soccer/football is nothing more than 22 people kicking a bag of wind around and ruining a perfectly good lawn in the process, I was for one brief moment in full agreement with the original poster. It was only for a brief moment though.

11/4/2012 3:16:05 AM

John_in_Oz

This would be why Soccer is found in so many Catholic schools?

11/4/2012 4:05:38 AM

SpukiKitty

This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard! Next, they'll be complaining about people who play monopoly or charades!

11/4/2012 9:39:59 AM

Doubting Thomas

I seem to remember years ago people being concerned with kids heading soccer balls, and recommended that it be discouraged.

But I really, really don't see how anyone can seriously make the connection that soccer is Satanic unless they're teabaggers who think that it's one of them damn furrin sports that them socialist communist atheist furrin Europeans play.

11/4/2012 10:31:41 AM



For the rest of the world, it's just a sport. And his biggest fanbase is in Catholic countries(Brazil, Italy,Spain..............to name a few)

11/4/2012 11:03:31 AM

Often Partisan

@Leighton Buzzard

"No, no, no. It's not all football that is demonic and evil. Just the Arsenal."

Looks like you misspelled "Aston Villa". :P

@Doubting Thomas

"But I really, really don't see how anyone can seriously make the connection that soccer is Satanic unless they're teabaggers who think that it's one of them damn furrin sports that them socialist communist atheist furrin Europeans play."

You have to play as team in football of course it's communism!

11/4/2012 11:46:29 AM

FuckYou

@#1464836

You can suck my fat cock if you Seriously want to ban those sports (nascar isnt a sport) you lazy cunt

11/4/2012 6:55:13 PM

Anon

@#1465516:

I did not say anything about banning any of those sports (see my point at #1464943). What I said is that I'm against paying people money to be beaten up for entertainment, or glorifying them for doing so. I quote the wisdom of Zach Weiner: http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=2778#comic.

A UFC fighter is not a heroic figure. Nor is an American football player. Nor was Muhammad Ali. Nor is a racecar driver (you may not call it a sport, but multiple car crashes are as injuring as repeatedly getting beaten up). If people want to go out and do such things to themselves and other consenting players, they can do so up to whatever level of injury society as a whole decides to be acceptable. But we should not privilege such conduct with money or prestige.

As I also said, my personal opinion is that hockey and American football are too dangerous to be considered sane but baseball, basketball, and real football are acceptable. Others may set the dividing line elsewhere, but dueling is right out.

Also:

You have just exhibited the online dis-inhibition effect to an impressive degree.

Please consider:

Would you ever say what you have written here to anyone in person?

I say with high confidence you would never say such things to me in person. That is because a single look at me would show how absurd your insults are.

11/4/2012 7:16:47 PM

Shockna

Former Catholic fundie myself here.

I'm gonna go with "not poe" on this one. This guy speaks, and argues, -exactly- like a fair few of the apologists I used to read. If this is a poe, it's a very, very impressive job.

11/4/2012 9:58:11 PM

Titania

My honors/AP student soccer player disagrees with you.

11/5/2012 6:10:25 AM
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