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Quote# 9051

Our ancestors are monkeys, if you say so answer these questions...

1) why did (and how did) monkeys lost their feathers?
2) why did monkeys start walking upright? (even it is a disadvantage for them)
3)why did (ofcourse how did) they start talking?

jeki, Christian Forums 51 Comments [1/14/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 4
WTF?! || meh
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Darth Wang

FEATHERS!?

1/14/2006 11:39:35 PM

PenetratingShaftOfTruthAndSemen

4) why did your mom not abort you?

1/15/2006 12:06:09 AM

CT

5) Why did the US education system fail to educate you?

1/15/2006 12:14:52 AM

Dragon

Where do they get this stuff from? Feathers? Weeeiiird.

1/15/2006 1:41:30 AM

Questioning


FLY MY PRETTIES!FLY!AH HIHIHIHIHA!


1/15/2006 2:00:26 AM

CousinTed

That was so horrible I think it gave me cancer...HOW DO THESE PEOPLE REMEMBER HOW TO BREATHE???

1/15/2006 2:13:58 AM

Dragon

<<HOW DO THESE PEOPLE REMEMBER HOW TO BREATHE???>>
I think they're brain gave up on them, and just went about controlling involuntary, life-sustaining things and let the rest of the body be an idiot.

1/15/2006 3:04:44 AM

Cthulhu's Quill

I'll try to answer these. (Note: I know the real scientific answers but i'm just trying to be funny here.)

>1) why did (and how did) monkeys lost their feathers?<

Because you're an idiot. That's why.
And second... \"...did lost their feathers\"? Horrible grammar.

>2) why did monkeys start walking upright? (even it is a disadvantage for them)<

So they can reach up and slap you upside your head because they think you're an idiot.

>3)why did (ofcourse how did) they start talking?<

Through a great feat of willpower they learned to talk just so they can tell you that you're an idiot.

1/15/2006 5:04:14 AM

NonHomogenized

1) Monkeys lost their feathers by getting plucked by Jesus, of course.

2) Satan kicked monkeys in the balls, and they used their hands to hold their injured groins.

3) Monkeys started talking because God revealed to them that you would someday write this post, and they realized they'd better figure out how to let you know just how stupid you are, and they figured flinging poo just wasn't enough, this time.

1/15/2006 5:30:00 AM

ssdexecutor

Dammit. Someone beat me to the Wizard of Oz joke.

1/15/2006 10:26:48 AM

The Last Conformist

Ejumacated Award

1/15/2006 10:45:09 AM

Amos

Monkeys discovered that their feathers could stuff ideal pillows. After many generations of easy-sleeping monkeys, feathers atrophied in a perfect example of Lamarkian evolution.

1/15/2006 11:58:56 AM

Onuris

Ok first question....monkeys don't have feathers, but we do have hair and tails(in the womb, cut off at birth)
second question.....it helped the see farther and gave them the ability to carry and throw things (monkeys in the zoo can stand to)
third question..... they do talk but we don't understand it, we made rules and forms for ours to help us learn ours, different rules and forms means different ways of talking (accents, diolects and languages)it's like russian and japanese you can't understand the other without being taught it and we can't learn their's and they don't want to be involve with humans so we can't talk, except if we teach them sign language

1/16/2006 2:20:04 AM

TDR

yep. That's a smart one. Make sure you train him up good.

1/16/2006 9:12:22 PM

Soyokaze

... Feathers?

1/18/2006 9:18:46 PM

CousinTed

Maybe he's talking about these monkeys:

http://www.superdickery.com/monkey/11.html

1/18/2006 9:50:40 PM

anissa

This guy kinda has a point. I mean, Darwin's theory of natural selection indicates the brightest would make it in the world, and the hopelessly stupid would die out.
So, as long as this guy is alive, I'm afraid Darwin's theory has a problem.

3/7/2006 3:02:49 AM

Danger Danger

FEATHERS???

What is this ass hole, an inbred?

4/28/2006 12:33:39 AM

Adrian

Answers to your questions

1) Never. Monkeys are mammals and have hair not feathers.
2) Never. Monkeys never evolved into people. Distant realatives of chimpanzees and other great apes are the decendents of mankind. And it was about the time when Homo erectus evolved.
3) Never. Our form of verbal communication is unique only to our species and evolved from simple screames and such into proper words over the course of humanity's millions of years of evolution. Also by a fluke our tounges evolved to work that way.

12/3/2006 11:59:05 PM

Osiris

Fly my pretties, fly!

2/2/2007 12:02:57 AM

dave whipple

since when do monkeys have feathers?

2/2/2007 12:54:40 AM

JP

ahahahahahahahahaha! Feathers! *collapses on floor*

2/2/2007 8:15:58 PM

Jordan666

When did they have feathers....

5/10/2008 6:02:43 PM

TauRaven

This one has watched the Wizard of Oz once to many times.

5/10/2008 6:14:47 PM

Canadiest

1) Holy stupid
2) Works for them, Apes on the other hand are better at upright and an Orangatang with human intellect could do what any human could (Since he's stronger he'd do somethings better)
3) Animals talk. A lot of Mammals recognize human speech and connect meaning to our words. Any animal that makes sound has vocal messages

5/17/2008 4:11:29 PM
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