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Quote# 90516

DEMONIC MUSHROOMS

The mushroom multiplies very fast. It resembles a flat cake, and when you put it in a container and feed it with strong tea, it grows in size and multiplies (It forms other small flat mushrooms beneath it but white in color. It grows to accommodate the size of the container however big it is. If you put it in a big container, the size of a room, it will grow and fill that big container.
After the news on the Radio about the dangers of the mushroom, one old lady decided to throw it away to the nearby bush. When she did that, to her horror and surprise, she had a voice telling:” Are you throwing me away after I have helped you this much? Don’t you want anymore? She then started yelling and when people came, they also heard the voice and the whole village was in panic. It took brave men of God courage and faith to remove the mushroom from the bush and prayed for it. When they did this, it turned to a little white snake.
The mushroom resembles a placenta. It is flesh like, soft and it kind of moves. When you look at it very carefully, it has a small opening (Mouth) and two little dots (Eyes).
This is a tact that the devil used to ensnare people. The devil knew that he would catch people using their weakness (Fear of witchcraft). They do not believe in the blood of Jesus for their protection and healing. Lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6)

Free in the Lord, Free in the Lord 110 Comments [11/6/2012 3:49:56 AM]
Fundie Index: 162
WTF?! || meh
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Mike Litoris

What the fuck...

11/6/2012 4:01:15 AM

Filin De Blanc

what is this i don't even

11/6/2012 4:10:18 AM



Written while on mushrooms.

11/6/2012 4:14:17 AM

Aikku

#1466057:

FSTDT needs a 'like' button.

11/6/2012 4:25:59 AM

Prager

Someone's been sampling the schrooms...

11/6/2012 4:29:38 AM

OhJohnNo


11/6/2012 4:34:35 AM

Titania

That's one wicked trip the OP is on.

11/6/2012 4:34:37 AM

capello moderno

Not the first famous 'shroom. Rumour has it, Lenin was also a mushroom.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h2cs8QLnxlU

11/6/2012 4:35:07 AM

toothache

Sounds like someone's been on the mushrooms

11/6/2012 4:48:43 AM

beehummingbird

"The mushroom resembles a placenta. It is flesh like, soft and it kind of moves."

WTF!?

11/6/2012 4:54:20 AM

Frostythesnowman

This could be true, for the groceries of Satan surround us all. Only the other day, I came home to discover my wife being ravished by the cucumber of Lucifer, I knew it was an apostate vegetable of Hell, for even before I entered the room, I could hear her calling to God over and over again...

11/6/2012 5:00:04 AM

UHM

So, how old were you when you mom let you drop on the head?

11/6/2012 5:06:03 AM



"It is flesh like, soft and it kind of moves. When you look at it very carefully, it has a small opening (Mouth) and two little dots (Eyes)."

OH NOOOOOO


11/6/2012 5:16:42 AM

anevilmeme

Okay, I admit it I actually said "what the fuck?" out loud after reading this one.

11/6/2012 5:27:49 AM

Dyz

Sounds like someone ate some magic mushrooms.

11/6/2012 5:41:43 AM

Leighton Buzzard

the whole village

Which was where?

11/6/2012 5:51:36 AM

quinky

Top 100, here we come.

11/6/2012 6:03:51 AM

His4Life

There is actually a book called "The Cross and the Mystic Mushroom" that suggests Jesus was a metaphor for mushrooms. I believe the author's name is John Allegro or something like that. Basically he argues that the authors of the Bible used mushrooms in sacred ceremonies, then wrote about these experiences in code using Jesus and other characters as metaphors to describe the process for growing and consuming these mushrooms.

11/6/2012 6:05:54 AM

Mister Spak


11/6/2012 6:06:01 AM

D Laurier

Obviously Free in the Lord has never actualy seen a mushroom

11/6/2012 6:31:23 AM

Doubting Thomas

I think someone's on mushrooms...

The mushroom resembles a placenta. It is flesh like, soft and it kind of moves. When you look at it very carefully, it has a small opening (Mouth) and two little dots (Eyes).

Since when does a placenta move or have a mouth and eyes?

11/6/2012 6:31:53 AM

KittyKaboom

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

11/6/2012 7:02:02 AM

Arctic Knight

This guy has been taking too many hallucinogenic mushrooms.

11/6/2012 7:10:41 AM

Valerius

#1466086 wins!

11/6/2012 7:44:59 AM

SpukiKitty

KOMBUCHA MUSHROOMS DON'T WORK THAT WAY!

I think the lady in the story was consuming another type of schroom altogether!

THIS IS THE WACKIEST THING I'VE EVER READ! I'M LOLing SO HARD RIGHT NOW!


@#1466086
YOU ARE A GENIUS!

YOU WIN A WEB!

11/6/2012 8:31:26 AM
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