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Quote# 90516

DEMONIC MUSHROOMS

The mushroom multiplies very fast. It resembles a flat cake, and when you put it in a container and feed it with strong tea, it grows in size and multiplies (It forms other small flat mushrooms beneath it but white in color. It grows to accommodate the size of the container however big it is. If you put it in a big container, the size of a room, it will grow and fill that big container.
After the news on the Radio about the dangers of the mushroom, one old lady decided to throw it away to the nearby bush. When she did that, to her horror and surprise, she had a voice telling:” Are you throwing me away after I have helped you this much? Don’t you want anymore? She then started yelling and when people came, they also heard the voice and the whole village was in panic. It took brave men of God courage and faith to remove the mushroom from the bush and prayed for it. When they did this, it turned to a little white snake.
The mushroom resembles a placenta. It is flesh like, soft and it kind of moves. When you look at it very carefully, it has a small opening (Mouth) and two little dots (Eyes).
This is a tact that the devil used to ensnare people. The devil knew that he would catch people using their weakness (Fear of witchcraft). They do not believe in the blood of Jesus for their protection and healing. Lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6)

Free in the Lord, Free in the Lord 106 Comments [11/6/2012 3:49:56 AM]
Fundie Index: 158
WTF?! || meh
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J. James

Pretty sure "Demonic Mushrooms" are for external use only, bucko. Lay off of them, will ya?

11/6/2012 8:37:07 AM

Stimbo

A placenta with a small, mouthlike opening; a little white snake in an old lady's bush... I don't think this is a train of thought I'm comfortable following.

11/6/2012 8:48:14 AM

Firewing

I thought it was this.



I can see why you're afraid of those though. Touching it kills you.

11/6/2012 8:54:49 AM

Mattiedef

I'm still laughing.

11/6/2012 9:04:51 AM

breakerslion

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYSUdnOhAUU

11/6/2012 9:09:57 AM

Justanotheratheist

There could be a pitch for a movie in there somewhere. You know, one of those it's-so-bad-it's-good made-for-TV movies.

11/6/2012 9:10:16 AM

Thinking Allowed

Did this little old lady hear the voices before or after she ate them?

11/6/2012 9:12:01 AM

Anon-e-moose

"DEMONIC MUSHROOMS"

...what about Badgers? [/meme] X3

Besides, if you know what to look for in the wild...:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edible_mushroom#Other_edible_wild_species/

...then one can have a whole world of gastronomic possibilities. One called the 'Horn of Death':

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craterellus_cornucopioides

Despite it's name & unappealing looks, is very tasty, and can add a subtle flavour to many dishes, especially when left to dry up naturally beforehand, as this improves said flavour it imparts.

...but you wouldn't know that, FAIL in the Lard. Lack of knowledge.

11/6/2012 9:20:06 AM

LAchlan

The tea you speak of, is it made from those little mushrooms you find on the Vale cricket pitch in the autumn? And did you drink some?

11/6/2012 9:36:33 AM

Mystik Spiral

Sounds like someone needs to lay off the mushrooms...

11/6/2012 11:01:34 AM

Apatheist

DEMON MUSHROOMS ARE GOING TO OPEN UP A PIT TO HELL IN YOUR HOUSE! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

11/6/2012 11:07:34 AM

The Crimson Ghost

Well it's a good thing I don't like mushrooms.

I hate to guess what the OP was on when they came up with this little gem.

11/6/2012 11:13:24 AM

shykid

You know what talking mushrooms really hate?


11/6/2012 11:40:14 AM

John_in_Oz

I've read better fan-fic from a five year old.

11/6/2012 11:47:05 AM

werewolf

Little shop, little shop of horrors!

In the movie, the blood of Seymour was sufficient.

11/6/2012 11:52:22 AM

nazani14

Pretty sure FitL is talking about Kombucha:

Kombucha tea is a fermented drink made with tea, sugar, bacteria and yeast. Although it's sometimes referred to as kombucha mushroom tea, kombucha is not a mushroom — it's a colony of bacteria and yeast. Kombucha tea is made by adding the colony to sugar and tea, and allowing the mix to ferment. The resulting liquid contains vinegar, B vitamins and a number of other chemical compounds."

It will indeed form a mass that covers the entire surface area of the tea in the container. Talking, not so much.

11/6/2012 12:13:08 PM

Osiris

Friends don't let friends post on the Internet while tripping on 'shrooms.

11/6/2012 1:00:36 PM

dp

@Frostythesnowman
cucumbers are fruit. go spread your filthy vegetal-normative lies elsewhere.

11/6/2012 1:08:01 PM

Old Viking

I remember that old lady incident. It was in all the newspapers. I think.

11/6/2012 2:03:21 PM

Papabear

Leaving alone the rest of this bucket of crazy, nothing much will grow if feed only strong tea.

11/6/2012 2:09:59 PM

OhJohnNo

So it resembles a flat cake, and it also resembles a placenta?

11/6/2012 2:21:29 PM



We already know that drugs are bad, you don't need to make up some bullshit fable to scare kids with.

...

Oh wait, you actually believe that yourself, don't you?

11/6/2012 2:41:59 PM

Felix Nephthys

Perhaps the Holy Hand Grenade would work in this situation. Tis one of the sacred relics that Brother Maynard carries. If it worked on the rabbit it has to work on a mushroom, though I doubt people like this can count up to three.

11/6/2012 2:58:37 PM

Felix Nephthys

They should also consult The Book Of Armaments chapter 2, verses 9-21

11/6/2012 3:02:34 PM



LSD is a hell of a drug.

11/6/2012 3:05:52 PM
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