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Quote# 90516

DEMONIC MUSHROOMS

The mushroom multiplies very fast. It resembles a flat cake, and when you put it in a container and feed it with strong tea, it grows in size and multiplies (It forms other small flat mushrooms beneath it but white in color. It grows to accommodate the size of the container however big it is. If you put it in a big container, the size of a room, it will grow and fill that big container.
After the news on the Radio about the dangers of the mushroom, one old lady decided to throw it away to the nearby bush. When she did that, to her horror and surprise, she had a voice telling:” Are you throwing me away after I have helped you this much? Don’t you want anymore? She then started yelling and when people came, they also heard the voice and the whole village was in panic. It took brave men of God courage and faith to remove the mushroom from the bush and prayed for it. When they did this, it turned to a little white snake.
The mushroom resembles a placenta. It is flesh like, soft and it kind of moves. When you look at it very carefully, it has a small opening (Mouth) and two little dots (Eyes).
This is a tact that the devil used to ensnare people. The devil knew that he would catch people using their weakness (Fear of witchcraft). They do not believe in the blood of Jesus for their protection and healing. Lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6)

Free in the Lord, Free in the Lord 106 Comments [11/6/2012 3:49:56 AM]
Fundie Index: 158
WTF?! || meh
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ScrappyB

This is why it's a bad idea to drop acid then watch Fantasia.

11/6/2012 3:05:54 PM

BlackMageJ

Ah, so that's where my demon mushroom escaped to.

It's just one part of my scheme, I've also developed demonic eggs, mutant pigs that produce demonic ham, and I'm working on a process to create demonic pastry.

Soon, my evil flan will be complete!

11/6/2012 3:08:07 PM

eldritchMortician

*facepalm*

11/6/2012 3:21:16 PM

Alencon

This may well be the stupidest thing I've ever had the misfortune to read.

11/6/2012 3:33:59 PM

Reynardine

It's self-evident that Free took a big bite.

11/6/2012 3:34:58 PM

DatabaseError()

Kombucha may be pretty nasty, but demonic? I don't think so.

11/6/2012 3:58:35 PM

Creedence Leonore Gielgud




11/6/2012 4:40:47 PM

Sharon Young

While I acknowledge that such poisonous mushrooms like the Fly Agaric and Destroying Angel exist, one can always argue that anything is a tool of the Devil (if he/she/it exists at all) that he/she/it uses to draw people away from God. Where's the proof, though? The mouth-and-eyes thing could be a cross-section in my opinion.

11/6/2012 6:08:21 PM

NonProphet

...Christian fanfic is getting weeeeiiird lately.

11/6/2012 7:32:03 PM

Sasha

I think Free in the Lord is extremely sexually repressed.

11/6/2012 7:45:00 PM

Ebon

The fuck?

11/6/2012 9:31:31 PM



These words make my brain hurt.

11/6/2012 10:27:51 PM



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qh2sWSVRrmo

11/6/2012 10:50:07 PM



Truly a wtf-moment.

11/6/2012 11:16:54 PM

BrianX

I'm pretty sure that once your kombucha starts becoming hallucinogenic, you might want to throw it out and get a new culture...

11/6/2012 11:58:01 PM

AbsurdONE

A flat cakey looking mushroom that lives on tea? Sounds exactly like kombucha.

It's not fleshy; rather, its structure comes from a mix of water, gum, and bacterial cellulose. You can press it dry to make a ridiculously absorbent paper, with a translucent, crinkly, sorta leathery quality.

It's also not a mushroom; that's a mistranslation. Slavic languages tend to have just one word for fungus, mushroom, rot, and similar items, and the West was exposed to kombucha via Russia, if I recall.

To be completely honest, I never thought I'd hear of a traditional food product being associated with the devil. I mean, look, if your kombucha culture is contaminated with a pathogen, you can run into health problems, but that's true for any fermented food. It's really little more than top-fermenting yeast clumped together by a vinegar mother.

That someone could suggest growth and spread of microbes to be an evil thing, and then go on to concoct a trippy little horror story about kombucha talking to a village before turning into a snake, or suggest that it resembles a placenta with a face, well... Words fail me. It's just utterly astounding what people will demonize, especially when they literally believe in demons.

11/7/2012 1:18:05 AM

farpadokly

The best bit of the whole thing is the end bit: "Lack of knowledge". And then a Bible verse that says "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge".
But, of course, the author of this has knowledge. Here's some of his knowledge:
1. Mushrooms talk.
2. Mushrooms have faces.
3. Mushrooms are an invention of the Devil.

11/7/2012 2:07:48 AM

Petroleum Jerry

I call bullshit. They expect me to believe the village didn't put up signs and charge tourists to see the Giant Talking Mushroom?

11/7/2012 2:11:03 AM

Admiral General Mushroom

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PnsfRWaDL-E

11/7/2012 3:57:46 AM

Pioneer

This is one of the trippiest things I've ever read.

11/7/2012 6:29:53 AM

nutbunny

Placenta? When I read this I realised something. My mother had one of these many years ago and I've always wanted to find again this organism that looked like liver and grew on tea. Now I know what it's called. Thanks guys.

11/7/2012 6:41:05 AM

SpukiKitty

@BlackMageJ

Deviled Eggs! Deviled Ham! Devil's Food Cake!

11/7/2012 7:44:30 AM



Oh yes, aubergines are demonic too. Look carefully, they look like a phallus(sarcasm)

11/7/2012 8:43:15 AM



Somebody took a mushroom samba recently

11/7/2012 8:44:03 AM

SpukiKitty

Sometimes, a quote appears that sends shockwaves of laughter, bafflement & epic facepalms hereto unknown!....

THIS IS THAT QUOTE!

So much weirdness, this is "Time Cube" levels of weirdness! This is "TED Jesus Christ GOD" levels of weirdness! This is "Bathtub Bout With Leviathan At McDonalds" levels of weirdness!

Even that psychologically-impaired lover of Shrooms, Cannabis, Acid & Mandies, SYD BARRETT thinks it's DERANGED!

"Whatever that OP took...I DON'T WANT IT!"

11/7/2012 8:56:08 AM
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