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Quote# 90516

DEMONIC MUSHROOMS

The mushroom multiplies very fast. It resembles a flat cake, and when you put it in a container and feed it with strong tea, it grows in size and multiplies (It forms other small flat mushrooms beneath it but white in color. It grows to accommodate the size of the container however big it is. If you put it in a big container, the size of a room, it will grow and fill that big container.
After the news on the Radio about the dangers of the mushroom, one old lady decided to throw it away to the nearby bush. When she did that, to her horror and surprise, she had a voice telling:” Are you throwing me away after I have helped you this much? Don’t you want anymore? She then started yelling and when people came, they also heard the voice and the whole village was in panic. It took brave men of God courage and faith to remove the mushroom from the bush and prayed for it. When they did this, it turned to a little white snake.
The mushroom resembles a placenta. It is flesh like, soft and it kind of moves. When you look at it very carefully, it has a small opening (Mouth) and two little dots (Eyes).
This is a tact that the devil used to ensnare people. The devil knew that he would catch people using their weakness (Fear of witchcraft). They do not believe in the blood of Jesus for their protection and healing. Lack of knowledge (Hosea 4:6)

Free in the Lord, Free in the Lord 110 Comments [11/6/2012 3:49:56 AM]
Fundie Index: 162
WTF?! || meh
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Vince

I needed a good laugh.

11/7/2012 1:58:02 PM

tracer

Maybe this belongs in "Schizophrenics Say the Darndest Things".

11/7/2012 3:46:51 PM

Nerikull

I think I'd have to be on shrooms to make sense of this...

11/7/2012 4:21:42 PM

Just another

What the hell type of mushrooms is she on or talking about? Mario ones? Magic? Button? Damn those button mushrooms and their magic ability to absorb flavor.

11/7/2012 6:12:26 PM

Dark_Lord_Prime

"The mushroom resembles a placenta. It is flesh like, soft and it kind of moves. When you look at it very carefully, it has a small opening (Mouth) and two little dots (Eyes)."

The first thing I immediately thought of was the blobfish:


11/7/2012 6:41:39 PM

Evilution Teacher

Umm, yeah, what?

11/7/2012 7:58:06 PM



Someone place a picard with that pear and sombrero pic cause this is some crazy shit here.

11/7/2012 9:12:20 PM

Argle Bargle

What, fundies are now afraid of kombucha? Things that are made out of yeast are of the devil?

Better throw away your baking powder and only eat unleavened bread.

11/8/2012 3:58:34 AM

SpukiKitty

And your beer...that's right...YOUR BELOVED BEER!

11/9/2012 4:11:22 AM

Sasha

@Dark_Lord_Prime, that looks disturbingly like my ex-fiancé. Thanks for the nightmares.


11/9/2012 12:54:45 PM

SpukiKitty

@Dark_Lord_Prime

More like Jimmy Durante, made of wax...melting.

11/11/2012 7:22:52 AM



BEST CREEPYPASTA EVER!

11/11/2012 7:36:36 PM

anti-nonsense

sounds like that lady had been sampling her mushrooms before she threw them away.

And so are you apparently.

11/12/2012 7:33:06 PM

Vman

THIS IS SO AWESOME

:D :D :D

11/20/2012 11:35:25 AM

Max

Badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM!

11/26/2012 12:29:49 PM

xyz

Moral of the story: don't eat mushrooms off the ground.

11/26/2012 8:17:28 PM

nyctornado

''Free in the Lord'' PPPTH! YEAH RIGHT!!!! Stupid Legalistic pervert who damns nearly everything like mushrooms!!!

11/26/2012 8:24:10 PM

Scourge

wat

12/1/2012 2:13:38 PM

SerjTankian

THE KAMBUCHA MUSHROOM PEOPLE! SITTING AROUND ALL DAY!

12/29/2012 5:29:07 AM

hera

3 questions:
1. What was that mushroom doing in that old ladies house in the first place, and are you sure that her hearing voices has nothing to do with that?
2. Do you really expect people to believe that in this day and age where pretty much everybody has a cellphone with camera, nobody taped the event?
3. I can understand that a fungus will keep on multiplying under the right circumstances (moist, warm and a lot of time). But will it multiply that much if you would put it in say a refrigerator?

12/29/2012 6:29:38 AM

Nowonmai

You're just fucking nuts.

12/29/2012 7:09:46 AM

the good samaritan

What.

...

...What. WHAT.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT.

12/31/2012 8:06:58 AM



This is almost as good as the Leviathan quote.

3/19/2013 7:45:18 AM

Mothman

Question, What does it mean, 'After I helped you so much?' Helped with what?

5/7/2013 5:55:18 PM

Puncolawich

He doesn't seem like a very fungi. What a very strange idea of morelity. I have a feeling his crazy antics will only mushroom from here.

5/14/2013 10:28:38 AM
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