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Quote# 90577

Is it possible that the stories of Jesus' life were made up and used by people as a means to keep a covert tradition afloat consisting of ingesting mushrooms for spiritual guidance?

There are many examples of what might be considered as possibly being symbology of mushrooms, weed, and alcohol within the story of Jesus' life.

The virgin birth - Mushrooms have no gender and procreate without sex. Cannibus is kept seperate from male plants in order to produce more THC.

Feeding the 5,000 - Ibotenic acid can be passed from one user to the next through urine

Communion - Eating the flesh of the mushroom that gave its life so that the user can "enter the kingdom"

Ressurection - Amanita muscaria can revive the ill or those near death and invigorate those suffering from arthritis, making the effects seem miraculous when given to the lame.  It also causes deep sleeps, so one might be considered dead before later "coming back from the dead."

Causing the blind to see - Marijuana is unparalleled for relief from optical maladies.  Also, one might consider his sober mind to be blind, only to be given sight by a mushroom.

Swyfty Swyf, Shroomery 25 Comments [11/9/2012 4:36:28 AM]
Fundie Index: 16
WTF?! || meh
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Sgt

If so, it clearly hasn't worked very well.

11/9/2012 4:41:46 AM

Reynardine

Reminds me to make a mushroom omelet this morning.

11/9/2012 4:50:23 AM

Argle Bargle

I don't see what is so conspiratorial about this quote. It's just a wild speculation about religious symbolism. If it had a part where the poster claims that his musings are being suppresed by some shadowy cabal, yes, but as it is, it is just dumb.

11/9/2012 5:50:52 AM

Indicible

Mu-Schroomery much?
So, about the rest, yes, Christianity might be bogus, but I highly doubt it has anything to do with mushrooms.

11/9/2012 6:08:50 AM

fishtank

Thats one of the strangest things i've ever read here... impressive.

11/9/2012 6:40:14 AM

Adey

"Unlike muscimol (the main psychoactive constituent of Amanita muscaria), which produces sedative-hypnotic effects and dissociative hallucinations, ibotenic acid's psychoactivity is not completely established and does not contribute in any known way to the effects of Amanita muscaria other than serving as a prodrug to muscimol.[4][5]" Wikipaedia.

Stay off the 'shrooms and get your facts straight.

11/9/2012 6:47:33 AM

Doubting Thomas

Actually the virgin birth myth is popular among a lot of religions which sprung up in that part of the world. I'm guessing they just copied & pasted that idea from religion to religion.

11/9/2012 7:12:01 AM

ChakatBlackstar

"Communion - Eating the flesh of the mushroom that gave its life so that the user can "enter the kingdom""

Are you saying they'll enter the mushroom kingdom? Does that mean Mario is Jesus?

11/9/2012 7:30:00 AM

LAchlan

Go and find a mycology textbook. Mushrooms are only the fruiting bodies of a much larger organism, and some fungi have thousands of genders.
And leave the bong alone a couple of days a week.

11/9/2012 8:42:55 AM

Darwin

Someone has been reading The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross, by John Allegro. And they didn't bother finding out that it's been pretty thoroughly debunked.

11/9/2012 9:09:44 AM

Zagen30

"Does that mean Mario is Jesus?"

Well, he does come back to life when he's killed. Many times, in fact, unless you're unbelievably skilled.

11/9/2012 11:01:31 AM

nazani14

Drinking urine to get high? Wow, that's desperate.
Anyway, this makes as much sense as any other religion.

I don't agree that John Allegro has been thoroughly debunked. Halucinogens may or may not have played a role in the formation of Christianity, but the the Plaincourault fresco is a genuine artifact that merits study.

11/9/2012 11:34:56 AM

Papabear

"Is it possible that the stories of Jesus' life were made up and used by people as a means to keep a covert tradition afloat consisting of ingesting mushrooms for spiritual guidance?"

Much of it was made up, no doubt, but a covert tradition afloat consisting of ingesting mushrooms for spiritual guidance, no.

"There are many examples of what might be considered as possibly being symbology of mushrooms, weed, and alcohol within the story of Jesus' life."

Oh, do tell. Wine I'll bet sumbolizes alcohol, huh? Mushroom and weed symbols... you're on your own, way out there on your own.

"The virgin birth - Mushrooms have no gender and procreate without sex. Cannibus is kept seperate from male plants in order to produce more THC."

Woo, that IS deep symbolism... well, more like deep bullsh*t.

"Feeding the 5,000 - Ibotenic acid can be passed from one user to the next through urine"

As I remember the story they didn't ingest urine.

"Communion - Eating the flesh of the mushroom that gave its life so that the user can 'enter the kingdom'"

So did the carrots and celery.

"Ressurection - Amanita muscaria can revive the ill or those near death and invigorate those suffering from arthritis, making the effects seem miraculous when given to the lame. It also causes deep sleeps, so one might be considered dead before later 'coming back from the dead.'"

Uh huh. Then they had some coffee or tea and lived life a double the normal speed. It was a miracle.

"Causing the blind to see - Marijuana is unparalleled for relief from optical maladies. Also, one might consider his sober mind to be blind, only to be given sight by a mushroom."

SSTTRREETTCCHH.


11/9/2012 2:52:08 PM

qwerty

Remember kids, pot doesn't damage your brains at all! Just look at this guy, completely sane!

11/9/2012 7:13:50 PM



Aw yeah, more mushroom bullshit quotes please.

11/10/2012 5:51:58 AM

shykid

"Is it possible that the stories of Jesus' life were made up and used by people as a means to keep a covert tradition afloat consisting of ingesting mushrooms for spiritual guidance?"

Possible? I suppose. Likely? No. You might want to lay off those shrooms once in a while.

11/10/2012 6:27:49 AM

thatotherguy

No, I don't think the entire bible is about that one time when the apostles did shrooms.

You, on the other hand, need to lay off the shrooms from time to time.

11/10/2012 11:56:55 AM

Meeeh

Even stoned like I am right now, I can do nothing but laugh at this nonsense!

11/10/2012 5:43:54 PM



Is it possible that the stories of Jesus' life were made up and used by people

If you had just stopped there, you would have been absolutely correct.

11/11/2012 12:36:40 AM

Rabbit of Caerbannog

"Is it possible that the stories of Jesus' life were made up and used by people as a means to keep a covert tradition afloat consisting of ingesting mushrooms for spiritual guidance?"

Dafuq did I just read?!

11/11/2012 8:43:02 PM

Raised by Horses

I, uh... yeah. Um. What?

Are you trying to say that Jeebus liked the ganja?

11/12/2012 2:31:59 AM



What the fuck did I just read.

11/12/2012 6:20:48 PM

myheadhurts

best. cherry. picking. ever

I say all Christians must get stoned!

11/13/2012 12:05:45 PM

NonProphet

...I've done mushrooms once, and I can still honestly say I've never been high enough to make any sense of this post.
I don't know what Swyfty is smoking, but I want no part of it.

@ChakatBlackstar:

11/16/2012 2:07:10 AM

Zits

OMG, laughing so hard at 12:AM I hope I don't wake the neighbors...

11/18/2012 12:33:18 AM
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