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Quote# 90716

[Free Republic actually pens an open letter to the Queen of England following Obama's victory.]

Your Majesty,

We, the people of the former American colonies, would like to offer our most sincere apology over that little misunderstanding we had 236 years ago. Had we known that we were going to be subjects anyway, we could have saved a lot of trouble and hard feelings.

We were under the mistaken belief that we would be free, sovereign citizens; we believed that our hard work would yield its own rewards without someone coming along and taking what we built in the name of “Fairness”. We thought our laws and Constitution would protect us from a foreign born dictator, and our freedom to worship would prevent us from becoming a corrupt, morally bankrupt society (silly us).

Little did we know that our own free press would intentionally sabotage, deceive and withhold the truth from us in order to reelect a Socialist that still holds distain for our nation and contempt for its founding principles. Nor did we believe that there would be so many citizens dependent on government handouts that they would blindly elect an unqualified charlatan, let alone reelect him.

Anyway, Your Grace, we are truly sorry and humbly sincerely beg your forgiveness. If you can find it in your heart to forgive us and take us back, we promise never to trade British oppression for Socialist tyranny again.

Your most humble servants,

The American People

Blue Collar Republican, Free Republic 110 Comments [11/14/2012 4:18:12 AM]
Fundie Index: 81
WTF?! || meh
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Frostythesnowman

I'm sure Mrs Queen would agree to this but here are a few things to be aware of...

Dear Republicans,

We don't feel the need to hoard vast quantities of assault weapons, that means you won't either.

We have a national health service, that means you will too.

We couldn't care less about religion, that means you won't either.

We accept socialism as a valid political philosophy, that means you will too.

We accept abortion as a woman's right should she so choose, that means you do too.

We are multicultural and accept people of all faiths, that means you do too.

We do not believe that homosexuality is sinful, that means you don't either.

We do not have any place for biblical mythology in scientific education, that means you don't either.

We don't use the word 'soccer'. It's called 'football'. What you call 'football' will be known as 'pussy rugby'.

Our beer contains flavour and alcohol. Yours will have to start doing so too.

Our alphabet contains the letter U which is used in words such as 'HarboUr. Yours will have to do so too.

Oh, and lose a bit of weight would you?

Regards,

HMQ.

11/14/2012 9:33:43 AM

Filin De Blanc

I feel like I should point out to some of my fellow commenters that Britain actually has more restrictive abortion laws than the US (in the US it's available on demand; here it requires the written permission of two doctors).

11/14/2012 9:39:15 AM

jimboaw

Ok, apology accepted so welcome back to you all except Texas. I have given that to Mexico. I tried to get them to take Arizona as well but they refused. Lizzy

11/14/2012 9:47:35 AM

Frank

Not a chance. The way you people eat we would be out of food in a week.

11/14/2012 10:46:19 AM

farpadokly

Dear colonials,
You shoulda thought of that in 1776. Too late now,
LOL
Good luck, "Liz"
PS, I have met the person you refer to as a "foreign born dictator" and "socialist" and my government enjoys full diplomatic relations with his government. You're on your own.

11/14/2012 11:06:03 AM

farpadokly

@ Everyone: I'm sick of this idea that "Europe is socialist". Using the word "socialist" to mean "government spending" is strictly a reactionary habit. The countries of Europe are NOT in any sense, "socialist" countries. They are market economies who differ from America economically only in that their worker's movements and public sectors haven't been systematically deprived of power and subjected to decades of ruthless propaganda and ideology. Ameliorated capitalism, what you might call "welfare capitalism" is the norm. This is NOT "socialism" or anything like it.

11/14/2012 11:18:11 AM

PWEOTWEB

Dear Free Republic,

Please stop eating mercury. It's bad for you.

Sincerely,
Queen Elizabeth II

11/14/2012 11:55:03 AM

Ironchew

Feel that Republican patriotism!

11/14/2012 12:00:22 PM

Brianisha

Go back to England, ya wank. Wait, England dont want you either.....

11/14/2012 12:03:23 PM

Atheissimo

@ ausador

What exactly is this 'press censorship by the government' you refer to?

11/14/2012 12:08:21 PM

UHM

@farpadokly:
Well, it depends on what you mean with "socialism".
I have learned it the the way that there are differen kinds of socialism. For example "economic socialism" would be common owmership and sharing of profits and losses or money doesn't even exist. It wouldn't even involve planing, as their are different subcategories like "command economy" (communism), "democratic socialism" (plans are decided upon via referendums or via the election of perosnal) or "market socialism" (the companies still act as if an a market, while all profits and losses are shared).

Then there would be a different kind of "socialism", all the ideologies from the center to the far-left (social democracy, democratic socialism, communism, left-libertarianism and so on). They are all strung together by a common set of values, which would too tedious to list now. This is generally how the word is used here.
But there's also a point to be made that the system that now exists not only in Britain and the rest of Europe - social democracy - isn't socialism because it still uses a capitalism, the problem is, the same argument can be made with regulation against Europe still being capitalist, that the influence of socialism is too high, the regulations, state monopolies and union rights are too many to still call it capitlist.
So, what is this social democracy - the best functioning economic system ever to exist - now? It is capitalist, but also socialist - because it's a compromise of all the things that are great in both systems.

So, it's not "econmic socialism", but clearly "ideological socialism".

Now if I were to qualify the United States, I wouldn't have to search for it a long time, it is social democracy but the system is desperately broken, so "defect social democracy".



Now I'll stick my nose somewhere else.

11/14/2012 12:23:23 PM

Papabear

You see what happens when Freepers are left unattended and try to be clever?

11/14/2012 12:28:07 PM

smartz

Ah, so the "patriotic" finally show their true loyalties, eh? You think you were mad when Obama won? Well, we Americans don't take kindly to the "unpatriotic" as you all seem to spout. *Prepares a large plane for Freepers, its a one-way trip to the Middle East*

11/14/2012 12:30:35 PM

John

Nor did we believe that there would be so many citizens dependent on government handouts that they would blindly elect an unqualified charlatan, let alone reelect him.

What?!! The executives at Exxon Mobil blindly voted for Obama? News to me ...

Socialism: When the government spends money on other people instead of me.

11/14/2012 12:43:39 PM

Queen Elizabeth II

Dear Free Republic,

Your offer is appreciated but before you go to far, I would like to point out that the United Kingdoms does in fact have far more socialist wealthfare and healthcare programs than the US and that our tax rate is much higher. Even our most conservative politicians in Parliament would seem like radical, left-wing extremists compared to the local blend of insanity you Yanks seem to have stirred up across the pond. It just doesn't seem like you'll fit in here. If I might, I would recommend a nation whose founding political and religious ideals more closely mirror your own: The Islamic Republic of Iran.

Sincerely,

Queen Elizabeth II.

P.S. You will refer to me as "Your Highness" or "Your Majesty", not "Your Grace." Read a book on history or political theory instead of watching Game of Thrones.

P.P.S. I do hope they kill off that insufferable fuck Joffery.

11/14/2012 12:45:50 PM

Hasan Prishtina

So what happened to "We, the People"? What happened to nativism and American Exceptionalism? What happened to the guys dressed up in wigs, tri-cornered hats and blue frockcoats at Teatard demonstrations? So you fancy a red coat now? Turncoats who betray their country because their preferred candidate lost an election. Here's a thought: never lecture <i>anyone</i> on their lack of patriotism or Americanism again.

But if you want to live in a country where abortion and gay sex have been legal since 1967; where handguns, concealed carrying and automatic weapons are banned; where rifles have to be kept at gun clubs; a country not only with socialised medicine but a universal, single provider from cradle to grave; where homeschooling is frowned on; where creationists are ridiculed; where people cuss on TV; where being racist gets you arrested; where there is an Established Church whose leaders make Obama about as socialist as Michelle Bachmann; and where libelling people leaves you very poor indeed, please go ahead...

11/14/2012 12:48:57 PM

mellenORL

Yes. This freeper spew is a perfect example of what my dad used to call, "scary-stupid".

Sorry, Your Majesty :(

11/14/2012 1:21:05 PM

Mayhem

You realize that the British laugh at you possibly even more than we do, right?

11/14/2012 2:26:49 PM

Old Viking

This just in. Blue Collar Republican and numerous other freepers have discovered and colonized an alternate reality. Despite severe brain damage caused by the alternate reality's atmosphere, these colonists say they have found caves in which to live, and plan to stay permanently.

11/14/2012 2:45:24 PM

Rabbit of Caerbannog

Dear Brits,

On behalf of all (reasonable) Americans, I apologize for the behavior and stupidity of Blue Collar Republican and all Freepers. I would not wish them on you or anyone else and only hope they attempt to colonize Antarctica and die of starvation.

Yours truly,

Rabbit

11/14/2012 3:13:04 PM

Felix Wilde

@Frostythesnowman: Win. Especially the football part. What is that? Rugby with forward passes, breaks every 10 minutes and shitloads of padded armour? Sounds like it's for sissies to me. Watch New Zealand playing rugby union; that's a tough sport.

@farpadokly and UHM: I think the term you're looking for is "mixed economy". In fact, capitalism and socialism are not mutually exclusive, and most of the confusion surrounding their meaning comes from the fact that socialists and capitalists define each term their own way. To socialists, socialism is an economy geared toward more social equality, be that through collective ownership, redistribution, a planned economy or reform to trade laws. They define capitalism as the usury of the working class by the ruling class, normally owners of the means of production.

Capitalists, meanwhile, define capitalism as free trade and the right to profit from your own work, entailing things like some degree of intellectual property, supply-and-demand economics, etc. They define socialism as government interference in the natural right to own and use property.

Ironically, many socialists are still capitalists by the capitalist definition, and vice versa.

But I think many of the early socialists, including the Fabian society, George Bernard Shaw, Mill, even Proudhon etc would strongly disagree that parts of Europe are not socialist. Early ideas of socialism ranged from what today would be called centrist to the very extreme.

If anything, the suggestion that socialism must be some kind of extreme managed economy or collectivist enterprise without private property is the assertion of right-wing reactionaries. That's why they call Obama a Marxist. Any economic reform is socialism, and socialism means dictators and concentration camps.

11/14/2012 3:23:45 PM

nazani14

He seems to be forgetting the famous British newspaper headline from the day after Bush was reelected: "How Can So Many People Be So Stupid?"

Texas once petitioned to join the Commonwealth. Victoria was not amused.

11/14/2012 4:03:49 PM

dfmfundies

@Filin De Blanc:

I feel like I should point out to some of my fellow commenters that Britain actually has more restrictive abortion laws than the US (in the US it's available on demand; here it requires the written permission of two doctors).

Very few if any jurisdictions in the U.S. have abortion "on demand." Second-trimester abortions can be regulated and and third-trimester abortions can be banned by states. State legislatures have enacted so many obstacles that even first-trimester abortions are difficult to get without jumping through legal hoops, and 87 percent of all U.S. counties lacked an abortion provider in 2008; 35% of women live in those counties.

11/14/2012 4:29:25 PM

Finni

So, let me get this straight..

You are so afraid of Obama, so afraid of the life that might follow. That he MIGHT (not likely) go against the Founders and (free to not be part of) the Christian way....

That you will give up everything you fought for, everything your ancestors escaped from, just to get away from Obama?

Even if this was a joke, you have to admit some people really need to stop whimpering and doomsaying. Liberals survived Bush years, you can survive Obama years.

11/14/2012 5:26:41 PM

Steven Mading

Queen's response: Thank god these idiots aren't still with us.

11/14/2012 6:12:41 PM
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