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Quote# 90847

Using a Ouija board opened me up to all sorts of demonic trouble. I used it when I was a teenager and regret it deeply to this day. I know for a fact that the planchette will move whether your hand is touching it or not because I've done it.

lisaann, rapture ready 31 Comments [11/20/2012 4:31:30 AM]
Fundie Index: 31
WTF?! || meh
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Frostythesnowman

I don't need to dabble with the supernatural to know that you're lying.

11/20/2012 4:37:53 AM

Filin De Blanc

Is there a single poster on Rapture Ready who doesn't claim to be an ex-occultist?

11/20/2012 4:42:12 AM

Prager

Psychologically unbalanced people SHOULD be kept away from ouija boards. Inveterate liars should NOT be allowed near the internet.

11/20/2012 5:13:18 AM

Leighton Buzzard

I got a Nonnein board, which was fucking useless, let me tell you.

11/20/2012 5:28:43 AM

Hastur the Unspeakable

Lisa Ann? The Porn Star?

11/20/2012 5:40:09 AM

Joules

@ Leighton Buzzard

[chuckling] Nice one!

11/20/2012 5:42:56 AM

Reynardine

Yeah, I know. I have to walk my planchette three times a day or it gets antsy. Let's not even talk about what it runs me in Purina Planchette Chow!

11/20/2012 6:16:26 AM

Doubting Thomas

Why is it that fundies keep claiming that the planchette moves on its own (even flying across the room), but nobody anywhere has ever gotten video of this happening?

11/20/2012 6:22:11 AM

Seeker Lancer

"Is there a single poster on Rapture Ready who doesn't claim to be an ex-occultist?"

It makes sense doesn't it? It explains why they're so apt to easily believe fundie bullshit. When they grew out of their "rebellious" teenage years they just replaced their magical nonsense with magical god nonsense.

11/20/2012 6:28:33 AM

Mister Spak

This material is published under the OGL
Protection from Evil Abjuration [Good]
Level: Clr 1, Good 1, Pal 1, Sor/Wiz 1
Components: V, S, M/DF
Casting time: 1 standard action
Range: Touch
Target: Creature touched
Duration: 1 min./level (D)
Saving Throw: Will negates (harmless)
Spell Resistance: No; see text


This spell wards a creature from attacks by evil creatures, from mental control, and from summoned creatures. It creates a magical barrier around the subject at a distance of 1 foot. The barrier moves with the subject and has three major effects.

First, the subject gains a +2 deflection bonus to AC and a +2 resistance bonus on saves. Both these bonuses apply against attacks made or effects created by evil creatures.

Second, the barrier blocks any attempt to possess the warded creature (by a magic jar attack, for example) or to exercise mental control over the creature (including enchantment (charm) effects and enchantment (compulsion) effects that grant the caster ongoing control over the subject, such as dominate person). The protection does not prevent such effects from targeting the protected creature, but it suppresses the effect for the duration of the protection from evil effect. If the protection from evil effect ends before the effect granting mental control does, the would-be controller would then be able to mentally command the controlled creature. Likewise, the barrier keeps out a possessing life force but does not expel one if it is in place before the spell is cast. This second effect works regardless of alignment.

Arcane Material Component: A little powdered silver with which you trace a 3-foot -diameter circle on the floor (or ground) around the creature to be warded

11/20/2012 6:51:37 AM

dionysus

I know for a fact that the planchette will move whether your hand is touching it or not because I've done it.

Yes. Pushing it with a pencil or a fork will do the trick as well.

@Filin De Blanc

Is there a single poster on Rapture Ready who doesn't claim to be an ex-occultist?


As far as I can tell every single fundie in the world was an occultist, heavy drug user, atheist, theistic Satanist (while somehow still being an atheist) and shoplifter and none of them had any morals at all until they discovered Jesus. How it took them so long to discover Jesus in a country chock full of Jesus is anyone's guess.

11/20/2012 7:26:12 AM

Horsefeathers

"I know for a fact that the planchette will move whether your hand is touching it or not because I've done it."

Talk to James Randi then. He'll pay you a million dollars if you can make that planchette move without touching it. Just think of the tithe you could make with that kind of money.

11/20/2012 7:40:22 AM

Stonespiral

No you haven't.

11/20/2012 7:59:37 AM

rubber chicken

Yep, I can tilt the board as well.

11/20/2012 8:04:57 AM

lordpatiii

I had a Ouija board once. Damn thign was defective.It would only let me talk to Hitler's ghost.

11/20/2012 9:24:20 AM

Pule Thamex

Dire words and very, very frightening. Let that serve as a lesson for any kids reading this.

Kids, start messing with the supernatural and, before you know it, you'll be up to your neck in demons and Jesus.

11/20/2012 10:28:58 AM



"I know for a fact that the planchette will move whether your hand is touching it or not because I've done it."

And you would swear an oath that you speak the truth about that, on the Bible?

No, didn't think so...

11/20/2012 10:39:54 AM

Justanotheratheist

Sure it will move by itself. In an earthquake, perhaps, or in the back of a moving car on a bumpy farm road.

11/20/2012 10:43:58 AM

lordpatiii

I had a Ouija board once. Damn thign was defective.It would only let me talk to Hitler's ghost.

11/20/2012 11:31:53 AM

Papabear

All one has to do is to NOT BELIEVE IN NONSENSE and you will be safe from the Ouija board demons. Of course, being a Christian, that may be hard for you.

11/20/2012 11:49:38 AM

Sasha

And yet with a cellphone in everyone's pocket these days, we've never caught this phenomenon on video! Surely Satan is behind this!

11/20/2012 11:57:43 AM

JohnTheAtheist

Hey Lisa, I have something else that will move if you touch it.

11/20/2012 12:15:43 PM

Indicible

"Using a Ouija board opened me up to all sorts of demonic trouble."

Did not close you off from stupidity, in any case.

"I know for a fact that the planchette will move whether your hand is touching it or not because I've done it. "

If it moves without your hand, what have you done?

11/20/2012 1:59:41 PM

mellenORL

wwwwwwwWWWWWWIIIIIITTTTTTCCCCCHHHHHH-ever
way you wanna look at it, I suspect you were breathing too hard at that there planchette, dipshit.

Is the OP actually Michelle Bachmann, btw? Story sounds familiar.

11/20/2012 2:08:47 PM

Old Viking

I once used my Ouija board to cut cheese on. There was mischief aplenty around here after that episode, let me tell you.

11/20/2012 5:17:17 PM
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