It's just that everything looks sinful to me now & its hard to live like that. Even the old shows I used to laugh at like "I love Lucy" seem vain and empty...without God. Everything I look at I am reminded that its temporary and passing. It feels like I'm watching everything die. Grief and a heavy heart ya know?
I went to eat lunch at a Mexican Restaurant yesterday w/ my husband (my favorite one) and I looked around at the painted Spanish dancers on the wall with empty laughing faces & felt sick. The rock music made me sick. The margarita my husband insisted on buying me made me sick.
When I go shopping, it makes me sick to look at all the excess - I start thinking about the little swollen bellies in other countries - hungry kids - and I put the purchases back on the shelves and leave.
Am I depressed? losing it? crazy?....or is it God?
Macklynn, Rapture Ready 109 Comments
[12/4/2012 4:35:35 AM]
Fundie Index: -26
Submitted By: Amaryllis