The Stupidity is a Renewable Resource Award

Quote# 91157

Bryan Fischer, the director of issues analysis of the conservative fundamentalist American Family Association, on Thursday told a so-called “expert” who denies climate change that not using God’s fossil fuels would be like “crushing” someone’s feelings by rejecting their birthday present.

The Cornwall Alliance’s Calvin Beisner, who has previously said that believing in climate change “is an insult to God,” explained on Thursday that the Bible said it was also very rude to not use oil, coal and natural gas.

“The wicked and lazy master was the one who buried his talent in the ground and didn’t do anything to multiply it,” Beisner explained. “That’s essentially what those who say we need to stop using oil, coal and natural gas are telling us to do. Just leave those resources buried in the ground, rather than pulling them out and multiplying their value for human benefit.”

Fischer likened the situation to a birthday present he was given at the age of six.

“I opened up a birthday present that I didn’t like, and I said it right out, ‘Oh, I don’t like those,’” the radio host recalled. “And it just crushed — and the person that gave me gift was there. You know, I just kind of blurted it out, ‘I don’t like those.’ And it just crushed that person. It was enormously insensitive of me to do that.”

“And you think, that’s kind of how we’re treating God when he’s given us these gifts of abundant and inexpensive and effective fuel sources,” Fischer added. “And we don’t thank him for it and we don’t use it.”

“You know, God has buried those treasures there because he loves to see us find them.”

Bryan Fischer, Raw Story 76 Comments [12/6/2012 4:44:36 AM]
Fundie Index: 101

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Well, So much for being stewards of the Earth.

12/6/2012 4:51:44 AM


Actually, using fossil fuels indescriminately is more like trashing god's house at his birthday party and leaving before the cops show up.

12/6/2012 4:51:51 AM


So lets follow this logic a little bit in a couple of potemal directions:

First, aren't water, air, and sunlight easier sources of energy to get to? Why aren't we using those gifts from god?

Second, if he really wanted Christians like you to use fossil fuels, why did he put so much of them underneath the land of those infidel Muslims?

12/6/2012 4:55:52 AM

dan i

I believe in God. But I don't believe he's a petulant child.

12/6/2012 4:57:49 AM

Filin De Blanc

So God gets upset when we don't use the fossil fuels he provided us, but also gets upset when we do use the sex drives he provided us?

12/6/2012 4:59:23 AM


Um... if God's like that... Um... why did he then chuck a universe-level hissy fit when Adam and Eve ate from the tree of knowledge? It was there, after all!

Do you people even read your bibles, or is the fantasy in your head that conforms to all your own half-thoughts that much more comforting?

12/6/2012 5:08:21 AM


Are we now worried about hurting God's feelings?

I like to think God, if he exists (which he probably doesn't) has a thicker skin than that.

12/6/2012 5:22:11 AM


Congrats Bryan, you have achieved a whole new level of WTF?

12/6/2012 5:56:45 AM

Doubting Thomas

I would laugh if not for the fact that we have members in Congress who also think this way.

12/6/2012 5:57:11 AM

Mihangel apYrs

Beisner doesn't know his wholly baable: it was the third servant who was extra careful with his master's money - probably scared of a beating if he lost it!

12/6/2012 6:06:01 AM


If god knows everything, he also knows our motivation for not looking for this stuff, so if god existed, he'd forgive us. Or be an asshole about it.

“You know, God has buried those treasures there because he loves to see us find them.”
Brought back the memory of me sitting down to my grandma on Easter and me refusing to further look for easter eggs, simply because eggs aren't worth searching for because FFS what kid likes cooked eggs? Next year she put out candy, which wasn't a good idea at all, than she stopped doing it for me, and continued doing it for my 6 cousins.

12/6/2012 6:09:06 AM


You do know why they have to talk over a satellite link, right?

When two doofuses like Fischer and Beisner hold a conversation in the same room, a critical mass is reached which brings a black hole of stupid into existence, which then ingests any traces of intelligence that might come in its neighbourhood.

12/6/2012 6:10:48 AM


Bryan Fischer was given a lump of coal when he was six.

12/6/2012 6:18:44 AM


Bryan Fischer, the director of issues analysis of the conservative fundamentalist American Family Association,

Holy shit, where do I get a fancy title like that? How many members has the AFA anyway and why should anyone listen to them?

I think a better analogy would be that someone is giving you cash as a present and instead of using it to invest, buy yourself something nice or put it in the bank, you burn it because you find the flames so pretty. If I would be the one giving you the cash, I would be pissed.

12/6/2012 6:24:10 AM


If God buried it there, isn't he the "wicked and lazy master"?

Using the fossil fuels multiplies the affect we have on the climate, which is not for the benefit of humans.

How are they inexpensive; one litre of car petrol costs about 2 dollars here?
And abundant; aren't quite a few oil wells drying up?

12/6/2012 6:29:43 AM


This guy should be sectioned.

12/6/2012 6:31:25 AM


Those "fossil fuels" weren't made for you, Bryan. In ages a lot longer ago than you admit to existing, plants and animals died and decomposed and were crushed by the weight of the earth, as you will be.

12/6/2012 6:42:06 AM

Hasan Prishtina

So, Jesus and his disciples were wicked sinning blasphemers because they didn't use enough gas, amirite?

12/6/2012 6:43:38 AM

Mister Spak

I'm sure god also loves how we strewed garbage all over the house he gave us while burning those fossil fuels.

12/6/2012 6:46:44 AM


I just noticed that: ” “The wicked and lazy master was the one who buried his talent in the ground and didn’t do anything to multiply it,” Beisner explained.

No, it wasn’t! It was one of the servants who buried the money. The master was the one giving them the money. I mean, jeez, I know you fundies cannot be bothered to actually read your own holy book. But how would the parable make any sense if the master were the one who buried it? Think, man, think!

12/6/2012 7:07:14 AM


Alright. Now imagine if you gave someone an expensive computer (the Earth) and a hammer (the coal) and they took the hammer and smashed the computer you gave them?

"Not using the hammer would have been an insult!"

12/6/2012 7:08:42 AM


By that logic we should all be doing pot and cocaine because God put it here. Or better yet, we should all be bisexuals since God created both straights and gays (and the existence of homosexuality in animals, who don't have original sin, shows that homosexuality is a part of the nature that God supposedly created).

12/6/2012 7:13:14 AM

I rather think that digging things out of the ground and using them to destroy your birthday gift (the earth) is the insult. Especially when the giver provided air and sunlight which can perfectly well meet your needs instead of the stuff you're using to destroy your gift.

12/6/2012 7:36:32 AM

rubber chicken

Can't we just say " Thanks God", and then leave it in the cupboard ?

12/6/2012 7:43:33 AM


How does that oil exec dick taste?

12/6/2012 8:29:27 AM

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