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#1479976
LAchlan
Well, that wraps it up for me. I can't wait til I can get one for a pet.
12/8/2012 6:19:04 AM
#1479983
Unicorns exist n' look no further than a ancient burial joint up in Uptown Korea fo' proof, accordin ta tha sickest fuckin bit of dunkadelic shizzle ta emerge from tha secretizzle dictatorshizzle.
Uptown Korean archaeologistz “have recently reconfirmed a lair of tha unicorn rode by Mack Tongmyong,†reportz tha state shizzle outlet, Korean Central Shit Agency.
“A rectangular rock carved wit lyrics ‘Unicorn Lair’ standz up in front of tha lair. Da carved lyrics is believed ta date back ta tha period of Koryo Ghetto (918-1392),†tha article states.
Da Korean Central Shit Agency has previously reported dat itz late leader, Kim Jong Il, started doin thangs under a thugged-out double rainbow n' once stopped a funky-ass blizzard.
12/8/2012 6:25:08 AM
#1479986
Filin De Blanc
My little pony, my little pony...
12/8/2012 6:26:54 AM
#1480004
Bad Wolf
did you ever notice, any time something fantastic happens it is always in Russia, or the remote sections of China, or Bumfuckistan, or, in this case, some undisclosed location in North Korea - a place that is very difficult to enter, much less find this "Lair".
Somehow I get the feeling that any request for pictures, or outside examination by experts will be met with "I'm sorry, but this site is protected as a religious shrine"
12/8/2012 6:41:05 AM
#1480020
Nomen Nescio
if they can get their populace to believe in unicorns, they might yet convince them that their hellhole of a country isn't a total waste of landmass and effort, too.
12/8/2012 6:53:54 AM
#1480021
Ebon
That's it. Shut down The Onion, someone call Stewert and Colbert. Satire is dead.
12/8/2012 6:56:09 AM
#1480029
UHM
This isn't the first time the government of North Korea has reported and preached certifiable bullshit. Give you a few examples:
- Claimed they found modern human fossils over a million years old (and therefor North Korea was the first nation etc, etc)
- Claimed and teached that Kim Il-sung was born on Mt. Paektu as a - I shit you not - half-god.
- Claimed and supported as folk lore that the uncle of Kim Il-sung controls the weather from heaven.
And that's just the bullshit I remember.
12/8/2012 7:07:10 AM
#1480033
Doubting Thomas
Kim Jong Il also hit a dozen holes-in-one the very first time he ever went golfing.
I really wonder if even the North Korean public actually believes the BS that comes from the KCNA any more? They make Fox News look like a bastion of impartial, factual news reporting.
12/8/2012 7:13:33 AM
#1480039
SpukiKitty
I feel sorry for those North Koreans. Do they believe the B.S. the oppressive head honchos feed them? If they do, I feel REALLY sorry for them because their ignorance is something they could not control due to the over-the-top censorship.
As much as the idea of a real life unicorn would be, it's obvious this this is a load of unicorn droppings.
Now, ignorant, backwards people in developed countries...those deserve derision because theirs is willful & they have no excuse.
12/8/2012 7:20:29 AM
#1480065
@ SpukiKitty
I'd be surprised if they actually believe it. They are just too scared to say anything, leading the megalomaniacs in power to believe their propaganda is working.
12/8/2012 8:07:57 AM
#1480069
Mayhem
Korean Central News Agency. The fan-fiction site of Asia.
12/8/2012 8:11:42 AM
#1480115
LDM
They can find unicorns, but they can't feed their people.
12/8/2012 9:20:08 AM
#1480116
dylanstrategie
But where is Twilight Sparkle ? That is the question...
12/8/2012 9:20:59 AM
#1480126
Reynardine
Central and Northeast Asia was once the stomping ground of a huge, cursorial Pleistocene rhinoceros, whose single, colossal horn grew from its mid-forehead. Paleontologists think it had a horselike gallop, and either its tradition in folklore or its skeleton might have inspired Eastern unicorn legends. But it died out with the other Pleistocene megafauna, several thousand years before the purported advent of this king, and anyone who even thought of riding one would have had his life foreshortened.
edit: For the curious, it was Elasmotherium
12/8/2012 9:32:43 AM
#1480151
Fawful has seen God has a vagina on top of his penis
North Korea obviously does that to get a spin on their ego and propaganda.
@UHM Here:
12/8/2012 10:15:13 AM
#1480171
generalissimosuvorov
Oh, North Korea. You're so reliably batshit insane it's just cute.
12/8/2012 11:00:17 AM
#1480180
anti-nonsense
North Korea: the most hilarious dictatorship ever.
12/8/2012 11:21:31 AM
#1480220
nazani14
http://webecoist.momtastic.com/2010/09/21/honking-their-horn-10-amazing-real-unicorns/
12/8/2012 12:20:31 PM
#1480280
The Crimson Ghost
@ UHM--I seem to recall reading that the masses were also told that Dear Leader didn't poop.
I envy these people their imaginations.
12/8/2012 1:53:55 PM
#1480295
Z
You know this is actually somewhatsane when compared with other NK propaganda
12/8/2012 2:18:01 PM
#1480297
Reynardine
Crimson Ghost, it's true. How else could he have been so full of #2?
12/8/2012 2:19:22 PM
#1480309
Leighton Buzzard
Is this the first piece of Juche fundieism we've had here?
12/8/2012 2:57:37 PM
#1480312
Mech610
Ya know Leighton I believe it is. Time to break out the confetti!
12/8/2012 3:00:23 PM
#1480323
checkmate
Unicorns exist
Of course unicorns exist!
Look, here's a picture of one. How could we have a picture of one if they didn't exist?
Like, duhh.
12/8/2012 3:40:01 PM
#1480324
Meeeh
What is it? Superman? An alien? No, it's Dear Leader Kim Jung-Il riding on.... a dragon?
12/8/2012 3:43:28 PM
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