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Quote# 91218

Unicorns exist and look no further than an ancient burial site in North Korea for proof, according to the latest bit of fantastic news to emerge from the secretive dictatorship.

North Korean archaeologists “have recently reconfirmed a lair of the unicorn rode by King Tongmyong,” reports the state news outlet, Korean Central News Agency.

“A rectangular rock carved with words ‘Unicorn Lair’ stands in front of the lair. The carved words are believed to date back to the period of Koryo Kingdom (918-1392),” the article states.

The Korean Central News Agency has previously reported that its late leader, Kim Jong Il, was born under a double rainbow and once stopped a blizzard.

Korean Central News Agency, Today 51 Comments [12/8/2012 5:35:50 AM]
Fundie Index: 36
WTF?! || meh
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derpin dots

So THAT'S why North Korea is so secretive. They're building an army of double rainbow pooping blizzard stopping unicorns! We are all doomed DOOOMED

12/8/2012 4:41:38 PM

derpin dots

So THAT'S why North Korea is so secretive. They're building an army of double rainbow pooping blizzard stopping unicorns! We are all doomed DOOOMED

12/8/2012 4:46:02 PM

farpadokly

This story has been debunked to my satisfaction.

12/8/2012 5:06:50 PM

Raised by Horses

Ah, yes, the ever-reliable North Korean Free Democratic People's Republic of Democratic Freedom's Ministry of Completely Truthful and Factual News service. Al-Jazeera, eat your heart out.

12/8/2012 11:12:02 PM

Adrian

We need a ROTFLMAOWTFBBQ!?! vote option for post like that!

On a side-note, the creature whose existence the Korean Central News Agency claims this "discovery" validates is probable the kirin, not the occidental unicorn.

12/9/2012 1:34:28 AM

Noneofyourbusiness

OMG, Korea was built on the remains of Equestria!

12/9/2012 10:49:37 AM

Horsefeathers

"North Korean archaeologists 'have recently reconfirmed a lair of the unicorn rode by King Tongmyong,' reports the state news outlet, Korean Central News Agency."

Well, at least it comes from a credible source that would never ever never lie about anything at all, especially something that ties into their national heritage.

"'A rectangular rock carved with words ‘Unicorn Lair’ stands in front of the lair. The carved words are believed to date back to the period of Koryo Kingdom (918-1392),' the article states."

Because people back then didn't lie either.

"The Korean Central News Agency has previously reported that its late leader, Kim Jong Il, was born under a double rainbow and once stopped a blizzard."

The Korean Central News Agency apparently works under the Weekly World News brand of journalism.

12/9/2012 10:52:53 AM



>Unicorns exist
I know! Equestria MUST EXIST!

12/9/2012 6:06:28 PM



this is why I love North Korea. It is the most hilarious country on Earth!!!

12/9/2012 6:35:52 PM



Unicorn was just a bad bit of translation, they meant to say a dragon headed beasr with the feet of a cow. Thats perfectly believeable.


12/9/2012 10:58:48 PM

Felix Wilde

Juche!

Honestly, I don't believe the North Korean people believe most of the ridiculous propaganda they're fed, but I wouldn't be surprised if in 20 years there were a few people walking around who believe in unicorns (or kirin). Everyone must have experienced the phenomenon before: someone otherwise reasonable and intelligent believes something monumentally absurd because they were told so as a child and never really thought about it again. Normally once you point it out to them they become rather embarassed.

12/10/2012 7:23:24 AM

Anon-e-moose

"North Korean archaeologists “have recently reconfirmed a lair of the unicorn rode by King Tongmyong,”

Now, don't tell me: said unicorn was purple, and had several stars on it's flank whose points added up to 42 (They Know!) [/Douglas Adams] Also, there were a lot of books found around the archeological site, methinks...?!

"Unicorn Lair"

Now why am I imagining Shining Armour - with sword in hoof - saving Princess Cadence from either Queen Chrysalis or King Sombra; also, the art style is that of Don Bluth...?! [/Early 80s Laserdisc arcade videogames] (*Nostalgia bomb goes off in brain*) X3

"Kim Jong Il, was born under a double rainbow"

...formed by the legendary North Korean Pegasus 'Chollima', a.k.a. Rainbow Dash.



"and once stopped a blizzard"

Nah, that was actually the leaders of the Three Pony Castes - Earth, Pegasus & Unicorn - who fended off the Windigos.

...fuck me, Lauren Faust (Ponies & Blessings Upon Her) & co. certainly did their homework, when coming up with their scenario. Now, if only the KCNA could be more imaginative...?!



The Bronies & Pegasisters out there certainly are.

@checkmate

Ah, but it's clearly not a filly (even though it looks like a grown-up version of Sweetie Belle), so where is it's Cutie Mark?! (j/k) ~_^ [/smartflank]

@Felix Wilde

"Juche!"

Gesundheit! X3

@Adrian

"On a side-note, the creature whose existence the Korean Central News Agency claims this "discovery" validates is probable the kirin, not the occidental unicorn."

Mayhaps their claim about a 'Unicorn' was completely Occidental?!



Thank you, I'm here all montth (along with the Airirang Games). Try the apple & hay Kimchi! X3

[/Carrying a torch for FSTDT's previous resident punmeister, Carbonated Margarine]

12/10/2012 8:26:25 AM

SZD

OK. I have to admit that this made me laugh.

Few people do satire better than North Korea...

12/10/2012 11:51:54 AM

Osiris

And I'm sure you also believe the claims from the DPRK that says that Kim Jon Ill always golfed a perfect game and invented the hamburger.

12/10/2012 2:31:06 PM

Felix Wilde

Kim Jong-Il also invented the multi-camera setup. In the 60s.

@Anon-e-moose: I've never seen MLP:FIM, but I'd go to that. Is Matt Smith (aka The Doctor) involved in MLP in any way? Or is it just he's awesome? Or is this a different Matt Smith?

*<3 Matt Smith*

Edit: Damn, seems to be a different Matt Smith. I'm out then. Hope the con goes well.

:C

12/10/2012 2:42:34 PM

Passerby

Wow. I have to wonder if the network is trying to intentionally let people know they're full of shit to try and break their conditioning. I mean really, how messed up do you have to believe this? It's FOX on steroids and PCP.

12/10/2012 5:11:27 PM

Anon-e-moose

@Felix Wilde

"Is Matt Smith (aka The Doctor) involved in MLP in any way?"

In "MLP:FiM" there is a pony - with an hourglass Cutie Mark - known as Doctor Whooves:



And in fanart, is usually portrayed as David Tennant's The Doctor. But there is a Matt Smith-esque Doctor Whooves, though:



...oh, and as for the 'ponycon' in DPRK, a definite case of 'I wish!', as that's just a bit of fanart - with Rainbow Dash - too. Like I say, North Korea has Pony credentials, with it's legendary Pegasus Chollima (used as part of their 'Juche' propaganda; one of the several statues in Pyongyang):


12/11/2012 8:34:57 AM

Pie Man

They're just trying to get back at the Onion.

12/11/2012 2:06:50 PM

Justanotheratheist

Well, I'm convinced. Just as I was always completely convinced about news reports in apartheid-era South Africa which told us that black activists who died in custody had either "slipped in the shower" or "accidentally fallen out of a window."

Because, you know, the state news service in a dictatorship NEVER lies.

12/11/2012 11:33:31 PM

Seeker Lancer

Oh North Korea... you'd be adorable if your people weren't starving and terrified of their government.

12/13/2012 7:20:10 PM



HHAHAHAHAHA.

12/13/2012 11:00:19 PM

Nezumi

@1480151:

Since no-one else brought it up, that particular image you showed is a parody. Sadly, it's hard to tell, given how absurd some of the real North Korean propaganda is.

12/14/2012 2:39:29 PM

Mark Poe

Seems legit...

2/21/2013 3:40:49 PM

Redd

Uhh... What?

Was it a unicorn or that dragon-headed cow-thing they discovered?

What did I just read?!

I must admit that I'm trying hard not to be amused about Kim Jong Il's "double rainbow birth" hogwash though.

4/28/2013 12:05:40 AM

Cloudy-with-chances-of-Doom

Unicorns do exist! They're just fat, gray, and we call the rhinos.

4/28/2013 12:51:28 AM
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