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Quote# 91303

[But for the record, you do think they spoke English and wrote the original Bible in English (which is not KJV1611), and then it was translated to Hebrew, correct?]

Incorrect.

My belief ... (at the risk of correcting you, which I've supposedly never done before) ... is that the original autographs from Genesis 1 to the Tower of Babel were written in English.

In other words, Adam wrote Genesis 1 & 2 in English; Seth wrote Genesis 3 & 4 in English; Noah wrote Genesis 5-9 in English; Shem wrote Genesis 10 in English; then Abraham wrote Genesis 11-25 in Hebrew.

Moses then edited the entire book of Genesis (into Hebrew), and that's why Genesis is titled, The First Book of Moses.

(Something like that.)

AV1611VET, Christian Forums 65 Comments [12/11/2012 3:09:51 PM]
Fundie Index: 107
Submitted By: Al (Not Bundy)
WTF?! || meh
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Something Clever

Oh AV1611VET, how I've missed you.

I don't even know where to begin. But evidently Adam did and he began it in English.

12/11/2012 3:16:40 PM

anti-nonsense

This makes me seriously wonder if the suspicions of AV1611VET being an insanely dedicated poe are true. It's hard to imagine anybody being this deluded.

12/11/2012 3:19:16 PM

checkmate

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!




12/11/2012 3:19:40 PM

New Face of Rev

So why does English use the Roman alphabet instead of Romans using the English alphabet?

12/11/2012 4:14:09 PM

Old Viking

What's more, back in those days, writing in English was no easy thing, let me tell you.

12/11/2012 4:21:19 PM

SpukiKitty

*FACEPALM x INFINITY*

12/11/2012 4:28:40 PM

Alencon

The fact that English didn't exist as a language doesn't seem to concern him does it?

12/11/2012 4:39:41 PM

UHM

This makes me wish I was religious, so I could pray for this being a parodist.…

God-Lord-Sweet-Jesus-Holy-fuckiti-fuck that is stupid.

12/11/2012 4:40:18 PM

Adey

I agree with anti-nonsense. Having read back through AV's past comments I can only conclude that he is a very dedicated Poe. There is no way that anyone can keep up this level of stupidity for so long without being very clever.

12/11/2012 4:54:58 PM

Sasha

I can only believe that AV1611VET was kept locked in his room as a child, with only back copies of Reader's Digest to read.

12/11/2012 5:04:18 PM

Zim!

British English? American English? or another one?

12/11/2012 5:11:48 PM

Blarghonius

Step 1: Find stupid idea.
Step 2: Believe stupid idea despite evidence to the contrary.

12/11/2012 5:13:22 PM

beehummingbird

English didn't exist as a language then, and even if it did, the events in the Bible didn't take place in England.

How can anyone with a brain believe the Bible was originally written in English!

12/11/2012 5:24:16 PM

mattiedef

If we assume he means proto english, does that mean adam and eve are gauls or vandals? Since normans and saxons made english.

12/11/2012 5:36:04 PM

shykid

Omfg

history FAIL
philology FAIL
linguistics FAIL
your own religion FAIL
...oh, fuck it, EVERYTHING FAIL

I try to avoid name-calling, but dear fucking Ceiling Cat, you are a COMPLETE MORON.

12/11/2012 5:41:33 PM

Raised by Horses

I say, it was dash clever of the Bible's authors to write the gospels in a language that didn't even exist in their own time.

12/11/2012 5:47:12 PM

elix

If this is not a Poe, I hope it never breeds.

12/11/2012 5:51:28 PM

D Laurier

Except that did not exist.
English is derived from Saxon.
Untill the 9th century there was no english language at all... the Saxons in Britanium all spoke Saxon. The Angles all spoke Danish.

In the 9th century the Angles, Saxons, and Gaels started creating a creole of all three languages, and that creole became English.

12/11/2012 6:06:33 PM

Ironchew

"In other words, Adam wrote Genesis 1 & 2 in English; Seth wrote Genesis 3 & 4 in English; Noah wrote Genesis 5-9 in English; Shem wrote Genesis 10 in English; then Abraham wrote Genesis 11-25 in Hebrew."

I've leave the English-related WTF to other commenters, but something else amuses me here:
What is Adam's, Seth's, Noah's, etc. obsession with writing chapters of Genesis? You'd think any one of them would have the drive to finish the damn thing.

12/11/2012 6:26:47 PM

Papabear

How great is your knowledge. Not only do you think that the autographs were written in English, but you know exactly who wrote exactly which parts. (Nothing like that.)

12/11/2012 6:27:31 PM

sidhe

Did I read this, or did I pass out for a second and dream it?

*looks up and re-reads*

Fuck.

And, to those who believe AV1611 is just a dedicated Poe, I regret to inform you that he is, in fact, batshit insane. This is comparatively tame. His dedication to the idea that the 1611 KJV is the One True Translation means that even the Russian judge awards him a "10" in the Mental Gymnastics overall competition.

12/11/2012 6:32:51 PM

chingchongnipnong

If English is God's language, why don't Jesus speaks them?

And I don't speak American English, I speak FREEDOM AND LIBERTY!!!

12/11/2012 6:48:21 PM

Drax

Well, you can believe whatever you like, but the fact is that English didn't exist in a form that would be intelligible to a modern English speaker until the late Middle Ages, about 600 years or so ago.

12/11/2012 6:50:18 PM

Seeker Lancer

How can someone be this fucking ignorant of how language works?

12/11/2012 6:57:14 PM

Dr. Shrinker

I thought we concluded this guy was a Poe

12/11/2012 7:02:17 PM
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