Quote# 91325

The rate in which a light flashes on top of an emergency vehicle is the average rate that people are dying and going to hell.

Michael Bronson, Bible Help 40 Comments [12/13/2012 4:19:08 AM]
Fundie Index: 46
Submitted By: Chordus

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Is that a European emergency vehicle or an African one?

12/13/2012 4:41:31 AM


Average rate of death over what time interval? And what emergency vehicle?

I'm sure there's some combination of the two that could make this true, well besides the hell part...

12/13/2012 4:49:45 AM


12/13/2012 4:49:46 AM


That's a lot of dead fundies.

12/13/2012 4:49:53 AM


pretty tame for fstdt

12/13/2012 4:54:38 AM

Filin De Blanc

Jesus is a pretty useless saviour then, no?

12/13/2012 5:06:03 AM

Hugh G. Rection

So, when there's a bunch of emergency vehicles at one location-all with strobes on-there's multitudes of motherfuckers going to hell?

12/13/2012 5:08:11 AM


I thought they only go to hell after Last Judgement?

As for that, I would hate to be the receptionist in hell on that fateful day...talk about rush hour...

12/13/2012 5:22:47 AM


Sigh... So are we saying that ambulances are satanic now Michael? Does it say that in the bible or did an angel tell you?

What do these utter lunatics do all day?

12/13/2012 5:26:14 AM


Gawd, they do come up with some weapons-grade baloney, don't they?

12/13/2012 5:34:55 AM


the average rate that people are dying and going to hell.

Well, rejoice. As P. T. Barnum said, "there's a sucker born every minute", so you'll never be alone.

12/13/2012 5:50:08 AM

Raised by Horses

'Bible Help'? Some help you guys are.

12/13/2012 5:54:12 AM

Doubting Thomas

Nice way to be a judgmental prick.

anevilmeme FTW.

12/13/2012 6:28:14 AM

Mister Spak

The rate at which the sparks in a sparkler sparkle is the rate at which a fundie says something stupid.

12/13/2012 6:41:51 AM


(double post)

12/13/2012 7:21:50 AM


Is this like that story with Bono clapping his hands?

Every time that light spins, a soul goes to That Great Subterranean Barbecue Of DOOM!

I guess when bells ring, folks to The Great Gig In The Sky & get their wings.

Now what about emergency vehicle in The Olden Days that lights AND bells? A traffic fatality involving a serial killer & nice sweet old lady?

What's with these weirdos all over the place? They're everywhere! Apparently they're like mold and they all spawn in Church/Mosque/Temple basements.

12/13/2012 7:26:37 AM


So if we just stop using flashing lights on emergency vehicles people would stop dying and going to hell? Oh why didn't we think of this before! Countless lives and souls could have been saved!

12/13/2012 7:27:46 AM


"The rate in which a light flashes on top of an emergency vehicle is the average rate that people are dying and going to hell."

I can safely say that I was not aware of this, ahem, "fact".

12/13/2012 8:17:46 AM


Justanotheratheist, if I could upload pictures from this android, I'd send you one of the Baloney Cannon firing.

12/13/2012 8:45:47 AM

Jezebel's Evil Sister

Another reason why bible god is an arsewhole who deserves no worship. Good thing it's only imaginary.

12/13/2012 9:10:34 AM

Thinking Allowed

anevilmeme said:

Is that a European emergency vehicle or an African one?


*deep breath*


12/13/2012 9:22:25 AM


I agree with xmx... This is the type of shit you hear from your average baptist preacher during every-other sermon.

@Thinking Allowed
I don't get it.

12/13/2012 9:55:03 AM

Dr. Shrinker

Prove it.

I'll even let you use the bible if you wish. I have read it pretty thoroughly and I don't recall a single reference to emergency vehicles anywhere.

12/13/2012 10:02:02 AM




I like making up stuff too.

12/13/2012 10:58:27 AM

Arctic Knight

I guess we need to outlaw emergency vehicles. As long as the lights don't flash on an emergency vehicle, nobody will go to hell.

If you end up in hell, just remember, it's all the fault of those vehicles and their flashing lights.

12/13/2012 11:13:44 AM

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