Home Archives Random Quotes Latest Comments Top 100 Submit Quote Search Log In Forums

Quote# 91334

Jesus was not a Jew. He is from the children of Israel (Jacob)

paracletus, Yahoo Answers 49 Comments [12/13/2012 4:22:22 AM]
Fundie Index: 40
WTF?! || meh
Username:
Comment:



1 2
#1482096
anevilmeme

Huh?


Oh right, and a penis is nothing but a phallic symbol.

12/13/2012 4:32:07 AM
#1482097
Paler_Face

"Megatron was not a robot. He is from Cybertron."

I would say it's hard to believe that there are people this stupid on the planet, but I've been on FSTDT too long for that.

12/13/2012 4:33:05 AM
#1482108
gravematter

Mindblowing.

12/13/2012 4:45:28 AM
#1482109
cdcdrr

But wasn't Jacob a jew?

12/13/2012 4:45:43 AM
#1482134
Grimsoncrow

Whether he was or not, I bet he would be booed out of most fundy gatherings as soon as he opened his mouth and started spouting stuff like love and tolerance...

12/13/2012 5:19:09 AM
#1482135
anti-nonsense

Ignorance of one's own religion.

12/13/2012 5:20:21 AM
#1482138
Justanotheratheist

And that made him what, exactly? A Pastafarian?

12/13/2012 5:23:29 AM
#1482142
Sheridan

Actually since Mary, Jesus's mother, was a descendant of King David wouldn't that prove without a doubt that Jesus was Jewish. King David was from the tribe of Judah from which is the origin for the word "jew" comes.

12/13/2012 5:33:26 AM
#1482150


I.N.R.I., bitch.

12/13/2012 5:43:29 AM
#1482153
Reynardine

In fact, Sheridan, I was about to say that you could quibble about whether Jesus was a Judean, but not about whether he was a Jew.

12/13/2012 5:46:29 AM
#1482162
pete

Yes, assuming he ever existed, he was a Jew. And he had dark hair, brown eyes, was less than 6 feet tall, and had olive skin.

12/13/2012 5:53:24 AM
#1482168
Doubting Thomas

[southern accent]Jesus weren't no Jew! His last name was Christ, not Christowitz![/southern accent]

I'm guessing that paracletus is talking about Republican Jesus, not the Jesus of the bible.

12/13/2012 6:01:21 AM
#1482172
rallymodeller

The Last Supper was the Passover Seder, moron.

12/13/2012 6:17:40 AM
#1482179
D Laurier

If Jesus existed, he was a jew.

12/13/2012 6:33:35 AM
#1482183
Mister Spak

What was he, a muslim?

12/13/2012 6:36:53 AM
#1482189
John_in_Oz

The genealogy given by Matthew, and also that of Luke affirm that Jesus was descended from Judah, making him a Jew.
Jacob was Judah's daddy.

12/13/2012 7:06:53 AM
#1482190
SpukiKitty

Sounds like one of those dorky "Christian Identity" hacks.

These are their beliefs:
* White people are the true Israelites.
* The Hebrews/Israelites in the Bible were pasty-white "aryan" people.
* Jews are impostors and the offspring of either Cain or Eve & The Serpent (allegedly The Devil).
* This is mixed with Anglo-Israelism, making Anglo-Saxons (or any really white North-West European person) an Israelite & "God's Chosen".

Thus, with this twisted, dim-bulb, non-Biblical, bigoted, deranged theory, ethnicists can hate Jews & not have any cognitive dissonance believing in Jewish scriptures & a Jewish messiah figure because they don't see them as Jewish at all.

It is a VERY insidious concept, specifically crafted to make it practically impossible to convince the bigot the error of zir ways.

12/13/2012 7:09:04 AM
#1482195
dionysus

Everyone knows that Jesus wasn't Jewish. He attended the passover completely by mistake.

12/13/2012 7:15:20 AM
#1482219
Mihangel apYrs

feast of the circumcision bitch! Ever heard of it?

12/13/2012 7:54:35 AM
#1482225
Horsefeathers

"Jesus was not a Jew."

Of course he was, and given the typical Jewish male of the time he was likely short, swarthy skinned, with dark hair and dark eyes. Certainly he wasn't a tall, lean, light-haired, blue eyed fellow as you people all seem to think.

"He is from the children of Israel (Jacob)"

You mean the Children of Israel, from which the Jews claim descent, or some other Children of Israel that I'm not familiar with?

12/13/2012 8:10:40 AM
#1482231
Anon-e-moose

"Jesus was not a Jew"

...yet, he was born of a Nazarene Jew mother; he had the Bris, and later underwent the Bar Mitzvah.

"He is from the children of Israel (Jacob)"

Who are (and was) Jews. And in that order.

Question: Adam Richman, presenter of TV's "Man Vs. Food", was born in a Jewish family; had the Bris and a Bar Mitzvah. Yet, he's eaten pork and shellfish (boy, does he eat it!). Now, in light of Matthew 15:11, does the fact he openly professes his love of bacon make him any less a Jew?

Enjoy your paradox, paraclitoris.

--EDIT--

@Kuno

"@Anon-e-moose:

...yet, he was born of a Nazarene Jew mother; he had the Bris,

And we know that because his foreskin is now known as the rings of Saturn!"

GROAN

...as opposed to, say, the rings around Uranus.



And after watching the 'Prickles' section of the "Panty & Stocking (with Garterbelt)" OVA, I can never look at a packet of Hula Hoops in the same way again. XP X3

12/13/2012 8:30:10 AM
#1482240
Kuno

@Anon-e-moose:

...yet, he was born of a Nazarene Jew mother; he had the Bris,

And we know that because his foreskin is now known as the rings of Saturn!










No, seriously.

12/13/2012 8:49:33 AM
#1482241
checkmate

Jesus was not a Jew.

Right!

While Jesus' mother may have been a Jew, as everybody knows Jesus' father (God, not Joseph) is a Roman Catholic.

Right, God is not only a Roman Catholic, rumor has it he's actually a Jesuit.

;-))

12/13/2012 8:50:13 AM
#1482254
Papabear

Odd that they called him "rabbi," eh?

12/13/2012 9:12:58 AM
#1482260
Thinking Allowed

Um...er...ok?

12/13/2012 9:19:28 AM
1 2