Quote# 92633


I wanted to tell my story on a forum that understands the alien world.

This has been going on since mid January.

We are farming folk and our farm is 200 miles from the city.

My wife goes to town once a month for groceries and provisions shopping.

about 75 miles from the farm we have a very long stretch of road straight and flat, and it happens on this road.

There is hardly any traffic and sometimes you don't cross another vehicle for 20 minutes or more.

She sees a very bright silver light on the horizon and it gets bigger and bigger.

She thinks it is a truck coming with headlights on.

Then there is like a metallic clunk and the radio goes dead and the car stops.

That's all she remembers, then her mind goes blank and when she regains her senses the car is stopped on the side of the road.

She has no normal visual recollection of anything but somehow, subconsiously she feels that she has been raped by some form of alien men. She can recall in her mind eye 2 men of caucasian appearence but about 2m tall and with dark skin and very light blond hair, almost white.

Good looking men but fierce and strong.

There is physical evidence of sexual interference because her panties are torn and the vagina has been used.

She wants to go and see the doctor and submit to an examination and she wants to have the fluid tested to see if it is like human semen, but I fear being made the butt of jokes in our small community once the story inevitably gets out.

Do you think it is some kind of alien abduction?

But why nobody else has reported similat events?

and why do they wait for my wife every month?
They must be able to track her car and arrive at this lonely spot in a very short time???

I am stumped.

[Cue even the crazies at Godlike Productions openly mocking him]

AUSSIE FARMER, Godlike Productions 49 Comments [2/12/2013 4:35:52 AM]
Fundie Index: 48

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Hasan Prishtina

Well, that's her story. Do people this stupid have to remember to breathe?

2/12/2013 5:03:53 AM


Sounds like you sure had one put over on you.

2/12/2013 5:14:24 AM

Dude. You need either the cops, or a good family-law practitioner. (Or, hell, maybe both.)

2/12/2013 5:55:01 AM

Doubting Thomas

1. Your wife is probably having an affair and concocted the alien story because she knew you'd be stupid enough to believe it.

2. If your wife really is being raped by aliens once every month, why does she keep going to town? Obviously she must be enjoying what's happening.

3. Everybody knows that aliens aren't interested in sex with women but are instead raving butt freaks, which explains all the anal probing.

2/12/2013 7:09:14 AM


What a stupid stupid Shisno.

2/12/2013 7:42:11 AM

Dr. Razark

"They must be able to track her car..."

Dude, aliens are traveling light years across space, just for the sole purpose of raping your wife, and you're questioning their ability to locate a car?!?

"...I fear being made the butt of jokes in our small community once the story inevitably gets out."

The story that your wife is being raped by aliens, or the story that your wife is having an affair, and you bought the "alien rape" excuse?

2/12/2013 7:53:41 AM

J. James


Oh, this is gonna be fun.

"My wife goes to town once a month for groceries and provisions shopping."

Jesus. No wonder she chea- uh, I mean, no wonder the aliens get her! Have you considered GOING IN HER PLACE? Somehow I don't think the aliens would want to even point their wing-wongs in your general direction, much less rape you.

"She can recall in her mind eye 2 men of caucasian appearence but about 2m tall and with dark skin and very light blond hair, almost white."

Apparently you are unaware of the infinitesimally minuscule chance that aliens would look remotely human, much less experience sexual attraction to humans and be capable of sex with one. And your description- someone who looks Caucasian but with dark skin and light blond hair- sounds like aborigines. You live in Australia. Do the fucking math.

"But why nobody else has reported similat events?"

Because not everyone is cheating on someone who is the most gullible dumbfuck in the entire universe.

2/12/2013 9:07:54 AM

Seeker in the Dark

You have to love it when you go on CSTDT and the first thing you see is "MY WIFE GETS RAPED BY ALIENS ONCE A MONTH". I'll be chuckling all day!

2/12/2013 9:15:57 AM


Is the road named Route 666? That would be precious.

2/12/2013 10:59:35 AM

> And your description- someone who looks Caucasian but with dark skin and light blond hair- sounds like aborigines.

Actually, sounds a lot more like young, well hung, tanned and bleached surfer dudes, with their shiny sexy bodies and crazy wooden space ships....


2/12/2013 11:04:35 AM


"The reason i posted here was because I thought this was a forum that understands these phonomenoms.
the missus is ashamed to admit it but when she comes to, she feels like she has just had the best orgasm ever.
She feels weak but at the same time she has a sense of elation that she can't describe. Her whole body is tingling and she describes it as if a low voltage eletricity has just run thru her whole body and this electricity she can feel when she runs her fingers thru her hair.
She has admitted to me that she feels nothing negative about this experience and on the contrary she awakes with a lingering physical elation that cannot be described.
Last month I went along with her and just before we approached the spot, I hid at the back of the car and covered myself with a blanket to avoid detection, but they didn't show up. obviously they are extremenly intelligent and have better technology than us.
but yesterday she went back by herself and it happened again.
So obviously they can see and watch from a great distance."

This is the most priceless thing I've ever read.

2/12/2013 11:49:42 AM

Strewth. Mate, your wife is rooting every stockman from here to Jundalup. And if I was your missis I'd do the bloody same.

2/12/2013 11:54:41 AM

At first I was skeptical, but then I noticed the ALL CAPS. So it must be true.

2/12/2013 2:49:32 PM


omg, i thought you were just making that up. oh, this fucking guy.

2/12/2013 3:08:31 PM



Best. Opening. Ever.

But still it didn't persuade me to read the rest of the comment.Shame on me.

2/12/2013 3:14:54 PM

I dunno, it sounds like she's cheating on you with another guy and making up some story about alien rape to explain away any evidence.

2/12/2013 3:49:35 PM

Power Skunk

What the fuck did I just read? The outline for someone's Area51 Rapefic?

Edit: Yeah, the more I read the comments, and start putting 2 and 2 and 2 and 2 together the more 8 looks like his wife's banging some aborigines behind his back. I feel sorry for the bastard now.

2/12/2013 4:10:04 PM

Creedence Leonore Gielgud

I like yer style, troll.

2/12/2013 4:52:36 PM

So, the one time every month your wife gets away from you she comes up with the most insane excuse imaginable for coming home looking and smelling like she was in a three way.

Now she's worried a condom broke and wants to say it was aliens rather than Mike and Pedro on their fifteen minute break after bagging her groceries.

Either you're the most devoted husband ever to believe her, or I know exactly why she goes wild after a month cooped up with you.

2/12/2013 5:48:05 PM

Le Proon

This reminds me of the news story my brother showed me when he was living in up Darwin. A women reported that her car was overtaken by a UFO... cleverly disguised as a station wagon.

2/12/2013 9:06:43 PM

umm...yeah. Anal/vaginal probed via sex is kinda weird.

2/12/2013 11:20:31 PM

Um, I think you'd better start going along on those shopping trips and keep a better eye on the wifey from now on, mate. I don't think aliens are the worst of your worries.

2/13/2013 12:04:49 AM


At least she is not claiming that God made her pregnant - *that* would *really* be unbelievable

2/13/2013 9:41:20 PM


Seems legit....

2/14/2013 6:52:16 PM

Funny that her gynecologist is not aware of that.

2/15/2013 5:42:31 AM

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