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Quote# 9276

What I found interestin' is when Eve said the serpent BEGUILED (seduced)me and I ate. We know a woman can't have a child by eatin' friut and Jesus told the pharisees who were half jewish,you come from your father the DEVIL! Could it be Satan got hold of Eve before Adam did and he got her afterwards?

Mark Bryan, Sean Hannity Discussion Forums 23 Comments [1/31/2006 12:00:00 AM]
Fundie Index: 2
WTF?! || meh
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Julian

Interesting hypothesis. In order for this to become a theory we need some experimental data.

Please try to have sex with a poisonous reptile of your choice and report back the results...

2/1/2006 1:44:57 AM

CousinTed

Julian: That seems like cruelty towards those poisonous reptiles...

2/1/2006 2:11:24 AM

Dragon

So... Christians come from the devil?

2/1/2006 2:26:49 AM

Bum

So... I know snakes were phallic symbols in some ancient cultures, but I didn't think it went THAT far.

2/1/2006 2:48:06 AM

Gadren

So, women can't get pregnant from eating fruit, but they can from having sex with a snake?

I wonder -- why can't fundies take things like \"you come from your father the devil\" as a symbolic or spiritual message, instead of a literal genetic one? After all, if that was so, then wouldn't Jesus and Mary also be from the devil?

2/1/2006 3:17:56 AM

Julian


Really - I give it 30 second till it's munching on his gooseberries. Oh I see your point CT!

2/1/2006 3:28:50 AM

Crosis

I'm not sure I want to know the thought process that spawned this post.

2/1/2006 6:49:24 AM

llDayo

Wait, was the serpent actually Satan? I thought it was just a serpent?

2/1/2006 3:44:34 PM

Rime

Pharisees were only half Jewish? No, they were completely orthodox Jewish, which was as much their downfall. Jesus tried to change that, but it appears the litiguous, power-hungry and self-righteous bastards made it right back into his perfect church.

2/1/2006 5:30:34 PM

TDR

huh? Run that one past me again, Mark. I think I fell off at the bend.

2/1/2006 9:13:12 PM

Austin

It was a normal snake, possessed by Lucifer. This psycho twisted it.

7/18/2006 11:01:46 PM

pauline

beguiled = decieved. not seduced.

12/8/2006 3:00:10 AM

Man Called True

Say... Mark Bryan really didn't think this one out, did he? If Satan as the serpent knocked up Eve, that means that the kid involved would be Cain.

Now, I know a lot of fundies think \"the mark of Cain\" are African features, but that's a matter for a different post. Is Mark Bryan trying to came Jews come from Cain?

...wow, no matter how I twist it none of this makes sense.

12/8/2006 5:52:01 AM

cerebulon

There actually is the belief among some Christians that the \"forbidden fruit\" was a euphamism for sex. The Serpent had sex with Eve and she turned around and had sex with Adam. Cain was the child of the Serpent and Able was the child of Adam. It makes perfect sense! ...except for the snake having sex with a human and producing a child. Yeah...

12/8/2006 8:53:07 AM

GigaGuess

Heh...?

10/5/2007 4:09:29 PM

Caustic Gnostic

The religious material I subscribe to, mentions that Christ was the snake, and god raped Eve twice. So yeah, if god=Satan (with which I'm inclined to agree), Mark has a point.

10/5/2007 5:30:53 PM



Unless the devil shape-shifted into a human and then back into a snake, or something. Given what a sexist Adam was (he got upset with Lilith because she had the "audacity" to want to be on top), maybe Eve figured that Lucifer would be a bit more laid-back.

This guy's a pervert. I foresee him writing bad fanfiction in the future.

11/12/2007 8:38:50 PM

cyborgtroy

"We know a woman can't have a child by eatin' friut"

I guess our messages are finally starting to sink in!

4/28/2008 9:48:08 PM

BobMalarky

Hey thats the very same subject my Bible slash fanfic explores...

4/28/2008 9:58:20 PM

Gjervan

ehm... does he claim that Jews are little devils?

4/28/2008 11:35:19 PM

Quantum Mechanic

Eve is a myth for the pathetically stupid.

10/1/2013 5:57:55 PM

Dr. Shrinker

Further proof that the bible can be used to "prove" any absurdity, actual contents be darned.

10/1/2013 8:46:22 PM

Justanotheratheist

"We know a woman can't have a child by eatin' fruit..."

In fundieland, that probably qualifies you as a leading expert in the human reproductive system.

10/1/2013 11:37:36 PM
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