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Quote# 93245

[Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH) voiced his support for same-sex marriage after his son came out.]

Portman should change affiliation to the anti-God Party (aka DemocRAT). He is a lying certified disciple of Saran!

texican01, Free Republic 47 Comments [3/21/2013 3:51:44 AM]
Fundie Index: 40
WTF?! || meh
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Mudak

Saran? What does a plastic food wrap have to do with anything? (Just don't use it in place of a condom or diaphragm. )

3/21/2013 4:04:09 AM

Filin De Blanc

This guy can't even spell Satan correctly, but remember, it's liberals who are low-information voters.

3/21/2013 4:07:50 AM

Nerikull_Murakami

Did you know that Cling-Film has a plan for your life? *snerk*

Sorry, I'm still giggling like a child over this. ^^

3/21/2013 4:15:16 AM

Gawd

How does one become a disciple of Saran? Who is Saran?

3/21/2013 4:15:20 AM

UHM

Saran - that's a pretty awesome name. Maybe a male version of Sara?
Nope:
The meaning of the name Saran is Joy
The origin of the name Saran is African
Notes: From Guinea and Cote D'Ivoire. Also a Hindi name meaning "refuge, sanctuary."

Will definitely go on my list.

3/21/2013 4:26:07 AM

Pikachukid

Because Glad Wrap is evil.

What about greaseproof paper? Alfoil?

3/21/2013 4:46:25 AM

OffalCompany

you see how he capitalized the last three letters of the word democrat so it would be rat? touche mr. texican, touche.

3/21/2013 4:50:17 AM

Doubting Thomas

I knew there were some weird religious cults out there, but apparently now there's one where people worship plastic food wrap.

3/21/2013 4:58:37 AM

Mister Spak

You should change your affiliation the the anti-American party (aka NAZI). Because they didn't want gays to have rights either.

3/21/2013 5:51:15 AM

The Crimson Ghost

Who's Saran? Is it someone I should know of?

And how does one become "saran/satan" certified? Is it like being Microsoft certified or something more glamorous? Because I could get behind that.

3/21/2013 5:54:21 AM



Oh my god, not Saran, NOT SARAN! Anyone but that guy! Heck I'd even take Satan over th... har har, never mind.

3/21/2013 6:08:08 AM

SpukiKitty

Disciple of SARAN? Is that like a disciple of Reynold's Wrap, Ziplock or Rubbermaid? How about a disciple of Mr. Clean?

Either the dopey OP made an epic typo (the 'S' is right next to the 'T'. I think he meant to press the latter, as in 'Satan'). Or Sauron's now part of the Christian mythos & the OP's a crappy speller.




HAHAHAAAAAAA!!!! I, FOR ONE, AM A DISCIPLE OF HEFTY BAAAAAAGGGGGSSS!

Nah, Mr. Clean sounds neater (pun may or may not be intended) he's this Yul Brynner guy with muscles & a nice earring....

3/21/2013 6:17:27 AM

GigaGuess

I mean, I KNOW, right? The Godly thing to do would have been to cut the kid off without a penny and disown him, or at least send him through a brainwashing Pray the Gay Away camp. But reevaluating your views because you get to see who they would effect a bit more personally? Unthinkable!

3/21/2013 6:22:29 AM

SpukiKitty

PRAAAAISE THE LAWWWD
AND PASS THE PLASTIC WRAP!

3/21/2013 6:22:36 AM

Deep Search

Right. Maybe they misspelled Sauron? I don't know what the Dark Lord's feelings on gay marriage were, though.

Anywho, clearly the godly thing to do would have been to disown the son until he stopped with his gay ways and treat him like a second class citizen. It's what Jesus would have wanted.

Edit to add: Gotta love all the other commenters on the site who state how they'd kick their kid out for being gay or blame the senator for having a gay kid and being a pansy-ass gay sympathizer. So much conservative Christian love, right there.

3/21/2013 6:52:24 AM

Valerius

Saran?



You mean him? [/mass effect nerd]

3/21/2013 6:53:09 AM

dionysus

Keep throwing every "impure" member of the Republican party out of the party. You'll soon be left with very few members and no real power. And it'll all be by your own hand and your stupid quest for ideological purity. A big tent beats a small tent every time.

3/21/2013 7:02:05 AM

Seeker Lancer

Because religiously charged social issues are apparently the only thing that matters when you affiliate yourself with a political party!

The single issue voting nonsense is the very reason why our politics are in such a terrible, deadlocked state where "compromise" itself is a swear word.


3/21/2013 7:24:58 AM

J. James

Satan ain't real and Rob Portman loves Jesus. Stop overreacting.

3/21/2013 7:30:09 AM

Anon-e-moose

Clearly texican(IQ)0.1 here has been a victim too many times of the ol' clingfilm over the bog seat trick, that it's affected him subconsciously.

Or maybe he's gotten confused with Saran? (It's easy to confuse a stupid fundie, after all). Or even the Indian actress Shriya Saran?:



Bollywood's own Angelina Jolie. :9

3/21/2013 7:35:05 AM

babyhenchy1

Saran? Is he referring to a turian Spectre (which would also be spelled wrong) or the Prince of Darkness?

3/21/2013 7:44:16 AM

Arctic Knight

All kneel and worship the great Saran!


3/21/2013 7:52:38 AM

Papabear

All hail Saran, Lord of all things of filmy plastic.

3/21/2013 7:54:01 AM

JB Mason

The brown-Eye of Sauron

3/21/2013 8:11:09 AM

RTT

@Anon-e-moose

Man, Indian women can be so friggin' hot. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin.

It's really depressing that rape culture is at a fever pitch in some areas of the country over there.

3/21/2013 8:29:22 AM
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